Dave

Dave's Smith's LAW OF AUTO JUMBLES

This article first appeared in the spring 1999 magazine of the Chiltern vehicle preservation group. It was written by my Dad a keen restorer, writer, painter and reader. He also lent a hand in the restoration of my Bug...

SECTION A : PUNTERS

1. A desired item purchased at one stall will be found cheaper at the next.

2. A desired item not purchased initially will not be found elsewhere and on return will have been sold.

3. Items purchased on the stall holders verification will later prove to be the wrong size, model or year.

4. The slicker the stall display, the higher the prices.

5. The most useful objects are usually found at the bottom of old cardboard boxes.

6. Most worthwhile items will have been traded among stall holders themselves before opening time.

7. Items purchased will represent 17% of any original shopping list and exceed budget by 222%.

8. Change for a ten pound note for items costing less then 25p will be given in 5p & 10p coins.

9. Stalls are always un-attended or minded by a grubby five year old when a vital purchase is at hand.

10. Objects transported home for friends will be filthy, rusty or leak oil.

Section B : Stallholders

1.Objects displayed will always be cheaper on the immediately adjacent stalls.

2.Objects repeatedly requested at one event will, if stocked, be ignored the next

3. Objects sold early will reappear on other stalls at a higher price.

4. Object scrutinized by punters will display defects undiscovered by the stall holder.

5. The cash value realized for any surplus objects will never exceed the purchase price.

6. Punters show little interest in items neatly displayed but pay well for old junk in cardboard boxes.

7. No four consecutive punters will have less then a ten pound note for 25p items.

8. The most potentially lucrative customer will call briefly when you have nipped off to the loo.

9. Helpers disappear twenty minutes after the stall is open and reappear lunch time and after pack-up.

10. Remaindered stock will be items that are rusty, dirty and will leak oil on the return journey.

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