CAST LIST

King Athlon the First of Lexmark   -   a jovial but rather bumbling King
Queen Ann Meagre   -   an unsmiling, rather grim, domineering Queen who looks just like Ann Robinson.
Hughlet, Prince of Lexmark   -   son of the King and Queen, heir to the throne, as yet unwed.
Dame Olivetti   -   the Italian cook to the Royal Household.

Eudora   -   her beautiful daughter and childhood playmate of the Prince.
Jeeves   -   a gentleman's gentleman.
N. Carter Blackviper   -   a scheming, devious ne'er do well with delusions of grandeur.
Hayrick   -   dogsbody to Blackviper.
Rumpelstiltskin   -   a dwarf who runs a dot com company dealing in futures (the magical kind).
Zip and Jazz   -   The Palace Guards.
Tiny   -   a large troll who helps out Zip and Jazz.

Geri Harridan }
Victoria Poshun }  -  three other candidates for the role of Princess.
Ulrika Volvo  }

Several Elves   -   apprentices to Rumpelstiltskin, as many willing children as you want to involve.
Villagers   -   another variable number.
TV Hostesses   -   two will do it.

The panto was written for a smallish cast. The elves are all children. If you have a really small child the audience will
reward you with endless ooooh's and aaaah's!

Some parts can be played as a male or a female without any loss of effect. However, Blackviper and Rumpelstiltskin really need to be male, and Hayrick's cross-dressing won't be funny if played by a woman.

THE PLOT

King Athlon and his Queen advertise for applicants in order to find a suitable bride for their unmarried son. Eudora's friends read the advert and persuade her to apply. She wins the contest (modelled on 'The Weakest Link) but is disqualified because she is not of noble blood. Her only chance is to spin straw into gold (a silly boast her mum has made).

Blackviper teams up with Rumpelstiltskin (who really can spin gold) to substitute Hayrick for Eudora. He reasons that with Hayrick installed as the Prince's consort, he will become a power behind the throne. Hayrick is moved into the cell next door to Eudora's and the numbers on the doors are swapped.

The Prince, aided by Jeeves and Dame Olivetti, plans to rescue Eudora. Unfortunately they are confused by the newly-changed numbers and abduct Hayrick instead.

Rumpelstiltskin finds Hayrick's cell empty and so he offers Eudora a deal. He spins the gold in return for a little unspecified something she must give him at a later date. The King and Queen release Eudora when they see the gold. Hayrick and Blackviper are locked up in her stead.

Rumpelstiltskin confronts Eudora and the Royal Family and stakes his claim to the unborn child. The Queen decides that Eudora can never become the Princess while this threat hangs over her. The only alternative that can be found is the faint chance of discovering the name of the dwarf's dot com company. Perhaps he shouldn't have sacked his elves in anticipation of winning, because they set out to tell his secret to as many people as they can.

The final scene is a glittering game show in the mould of 'Who Wants to be a Millionair?' The audience give Eudora the right answer and she is able to marry the Prince and become the Princess Fair.

They all live happily ever after.

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