Deconversion stories from The Skeptical Review
Brian Dube
Another Inerrantist Sees the Light...
I just received my first issue of TSR. Thank you for such an immediate response to my request! I am excited about the journey I have now embarked upon. It is very refreshing and encouraging to find others along the way who are not afraid to question their beliefs or those of the so called majority. I have recently made the decision, because of the facts, to leave my "God" thoughts behind. After over twenty-six years of accepting the so called "truth," I finally found the courage to take the path less traveled, and believe me, it has made all the difference! I have spent the last ten years in an ultra-fundamentalist church. I have been to the mission field and served functions as an assistant minister, but four years ago after my son was born, like a splash of cold water on my face, I awoke from my daze. I discovered that those who say they love and support me don't really care. Their focus is on those who are "lost" rather than those who are "saved." Anyhow, it was at this point I began to question the things I have been taught and that I have taught others. My friends were not ready and definitely not supportive of my questioning. I found that you can search for the truth within limits, but when I began questioning what was behind the door they began accusing me of dissension and divisiveness. I made the decision to move my family to a different state where the "church" was more mature.
It was challenging at first getting settled in, but once I did, I realized that though I had moved, the thinking was the same, or should I say, the lack of it? This past November, I left the church, although my wife continued to attend, and see no problem. I attended a few other local churches and even began a house church, but the politics and those who think they know all the answers to my questions were present. I began reading atheist literature and books, and found what I have been searching for-- the freedom to question without having the feeling that I'm a traitor or a vessel for satan.
Through all of this, my wife continues to attend the church. What has helped us in our marriage and in raising our four-year-old son, is the openness with one another in discussing what we are thinking. I do not make her do this or that. I want her to come to her own conclusions. I want her to follow her own thoughts and convictions and not mine. I share with her what I am learning and she reads parts of the books I am reading. I want her respect and confidence that I continue to seek and have not given up. I express to her that I am more happy now than I have ever been, and that I see my life progressing not regressing. I have chosen a path less traveled and she is supportive, though at this point she does not agree with what I am learning. There have been times I have wanted to ridicule or share my opinion about religion and about what she is doing in the church, but I have decided to hold back my comments. I believe that the time will come when she too will come to the same conclusions I have in the past few months, but I want it to be her decision and her journey, not my own. I challenge her to continue to question and seek and not to settle with what other men or women tell her is the "truth." We have kept the lines of communication open, and it has helped to make the transition not smooth but worth it!
There are those who will step out and walk while others watch and pass judgment. In the military it is termed a review of the troops. Those who wear the tassels and medals do not realize they are not in control. They watch not realizing they too are being watched and that their so called majority and control are being challenged and reviewed. The Skeptical Review!
I look forward to future issues. Thanks for the support for those on the path to freedom!
EDITOR'S NOTE: I have to think that traditional Christianity is in serious trouble. I receive too many communications like this to believe otherwise. As I think back, I remember a phone call from a student at my alma mater in his final year of study, who had heard about me and wanted advice. He told me that his home congregation had paid his college expenses to educate him for the ministry, but he had gradually come to realize that what he had been taught to believe was not the truth. He was going through the usual psychological trauma of trying to decide what to do. He didn't want to betray those who had trusted him, but he couldn't bear the thought of trying to begin a profession that he knew was based on falsehood. My advice to him was that, as psychologically difficult as it would be, he should make the break now, because it was unlikely that he would ever again return to his former beliefs. I knew exactly what mental turmoil he was going through, so my sympathy was with him.
Just recently, I received a phone call from a Church-of-Christ missionary who is back in the states, trying to decide what to do. He is scheduled to return to the mission field, but he knows that he doesn't believe the things he will have to preach if he goes back. I have even received phone calls from foreign countries, most of them from people who just can't cope any longer with having to pretend that they believe what they know they don't believe. Most of these calls and letters have come from preachers and members of the Church of Christ, but if that kind of transition is taking place in a church as fundamentalist as this one, it must be happening at an even faster pace in other churches, or perhaps it is the very absurdity of fundamentalist Christianity that is waking these people up to reality. At any rate, I really believe that changes are occurring that will radically alter the face of traditional Christianity in the next century. Too much information about the other side of Christianity can now be accessed with just a few keyboard strokes. This is bound to bring changes.
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