Stupid Things. These are 'things' which really do just annoy me. They're stupid to add to it all too. You may see this page as so completely useless it should have been removed in the mass update, wrong, because it allows me to force my opinions upon you, hah, hah hah hah.

No. 1:   STUPID LARA CROFT.

Lara Croft is just stupid. She has breasts the size of bowling balls, a waist the size of a matchstick, and really is just a stupid annoying computer character. Thousands of lads who play computer games think she's the ideal women. Freaks. She's also the property of CORE computer games, but I don't care, it's my right to free speech.

© Andrew Kimberley. 1998.

No. 2: STUPID AGE OF EMPIRES.

Age of Empires. Undeniably a great game, but flawed in such a way it really annoys me, and is just stupid. When I first got this Game I thought it was great, however after a month of play my eyes were open to how crap it really was.

For starters what is the problem with the difficulty levels? In Easy mode the men on your team are helpfully controlled; attacking nearing enemies. However it offers no sort of challenge. Medium difficulty is basically Hard with no extra tough enemy stuff. Basically you're left to do everything. Men hopelessly stand about while being twatted on the head by the enemy, unless you intervene and tell said twatted person to fight back.

Catapults. What a bunch of nellies. Whenever you send them off with men you can guarantee they'll attack them. Once while playing My catapults were told to attack some enemy men. the enemy men died, however the catapults hadn't fired so proceeded to fire upon my men, killing half of them. stupid Catapults.

Men, and trees. Trees are liberally scattered across the AOE terrain's. Lets setup a scenario. There are a set of trees on the path which my men are following, the men slowly approach the trees then all of a sudden they all go mental. Arrgghh, trees. Nooooo we can't proceed, noooo, don't make us go past the trees. Then for the next couple of minutes they continually walk about in the trees, around them and try to run from them, completely forgetting their previous orders so you have to re-select them. Another problem.

Selecting large groups of men. When you select large groups of men you'll always know that some won't we selected. Why? The computer can move units all over the place at once, and in groups the size of small continents. Not the player though, oh no, we have to move pissy little platoons about.

Age Of Empires. Yeah, maybe it is good. But it pisses me off. I'm not alone either, my mates who have the game can vow that this happens to them aswell.

He seemed to be scared by the poorly painted tree.