9.) Miraculously you should land on a needle-point with your brakes on at the top of one of the towers, and all being well, you should be lined up for the tricky bit. Don't look down. . .don't breath. . .don't look into the nudist camp across the next field which you can see from up here (Unless you're one of those NudeRs. . ). Aim the front tyre of your bike (which is about 4 inches in width) onto the thin steel rope (which is no-where near about 4 inches in width). On no account land in any way whereby the aforementioned steel rope can come into contact with you happy-sacs and/or dangly bits. This can be "very painful". It may be a sensible idea to bring a "box" along with you next time.

10.) Once safely on the rope (you may have to practice this bit a few times), and assuming you're still "together" (as it were) , give it full power down to the bottom and hope you don't fall off. . .wear strong underwear here.

11.) Steady nerves, steady hands. Keep on sliding down. I should let you know that for the purposes of these photographs I used a stunt double to take my place, as my hip replacment needs a service. If it wasn't for my gammy leg I'd have been with Ms.Croft every step of the way in the hunt for the Dagger of Xian.

12.) Simply hop off the rope, over the tower, and land back down the other side. Simple. Total time: 48.2 seconds. Evil Kanevil's got nothing on you. You'll be back in the kitchen with a tray in your hands in no time. If you manage to get this far, send a shot of it to the Croft Times Assault Course Competition to prove it. So you see, the old boy has got some in him yet. . .wait till you see TR III. . .