It seems I have a slight confession to make. You see, I recently told a tale to a few friends one night by the fireplace, a rather exciting and racy tale, which, I must confess, I had embellished upon to liven up a little. Whilst the main body of the tale was completely one-hundred percent truthful, a few of the smaller facts weren't, entirely, in the very broadest sense of the word, "accurate".

On reflection, the tale did rather tend to lead certain people in a certain direction concerning a particular matter, a matter rather important to some, and as a result, the tale didn't go down too well with them to put it mildy. It was, if I may be so bold as to use the word, a "wind-up".

Now, "wind-up" is a very bad word indeed. Its right up there with words like "spatchcock", "crack", and - if you'll forgive me - "sprout". They are bad words. Not as bad as "wind-up", of course, but they are all standing in the same part of the garden, as it were.

Far be it for me, Jeeves III, to mislead anyone with jaded facts and twisted truths - No Sir! A Jeeves would rather die than lower himself to the level of the conniving young ruffian who'd rather sell his own mother for a quick "buck" (which is a positively disgusting word) than earn his way through life in an honest and up-hand manner.