glimpses of my life and thoughts

Having sloughed off the thin layers of my fragile religious beliefs, I joyfully embraced Humanism and its non-theistic values — ‘a non-religious outlook, seeking to achieve a more open, just and caring society’, and I joined the British Humanist Association (BHA). I had found a home for my beliefs.

Since then various humanist activities have kept me out of mischief. I became a humanist celebrant for taking non-religious weddings, baby namings and funerals. My first ‘wedding’ took place on a cliff top in Dorset to the accompaniment of violin and squeeze box playing with the bride all dressed in white led by her father in full regalia walking up the hill under a canopy of flowers held by the bridesmaids, oh so carefully to avoid the numerous cow pats. My most bizarre funeral took the from of scattering ashes from a dodgy sailing dinghy piloted by a non-sailor in a Force 8 gale one mile south of Bournemouth pier, the noise of the elements drowning my every word. I was asked to repeat them in the yacht club afterwards!

  Each ceremony is unique, tailor-made to suit the wishes of those involved, and of course they are free of the mumbo-jumbo of religious dogma. Conducting ceremonies for the family — a wedding, two baby namings and three funerals were personally very special.

  As humanist representative I enjoyed meeting people of many persuasions on the executive of the Religious Education Council (REC), and served on the Standing Advisory Councils for Religious Education (SACREs) for both Westminster and Hampshire. I was warmly welcomed on these bodies by the Quakers and Buddhists, accepted by the Jews, but distinctly cold-shouldered by the Anglicans. I am also pleased to have kept in direct contact with schools through giving talks to sixth formers and sitting on panels at school ‘conferences’, but I am getting past my sell-by date for all that.

  The BHA has had some success in persuading the government to recognise the contribution of a non-religious worldview despite the continued, even growing, influence of religion in politics.

  In 1993 a few of us founded South Hampshire Humanists, aiming to support like-minded people and to provide a humanist voice in the local community. Over twenty years later we continue to offer a varied programme of activities. I suppose we reached peak publicity when for a year I became the humanist ‘chaplain’ to the current mayor!

Parkhurst Prison

Although as far as I am aware I am not of serious criminal disposition I am interested in the mindset of people who do bad things and become incarcerated for years. Our prison system often has a negative effect on the likelihood of re-offending. To find out more, as a volunteer I became an independent member of the local parole board at HMP Parkhurst on the Isle of Wight, which housed men deemed to be highly dangerous, many of them convicted murderers. On my first visit I was impressed with the statement framed on a plaque in the lobby: Her Majesty’s Prison Service serves the public by keeping in custody those committed by the courts. Our duty is to look after them with humanity and to help them live law abiding and useful lives in custody and after release. I became convinced that the governor at the time did his best to abide by this mission statement. He once incurred much criticism in the press for accommodating a released prisoner in his house for several weeks until a job had been found for him. Unfortunately the escape of three prisoners eventually led to his removal from office.

  My role was to visit prisoners in their cells and to find out the level of support they would receive if released on parole and their attitude to being released, write a report and later attend a meeting of the prison parole board attended by police, prison officers, social services and so on. I was there to express a view on a prisoner’s interests in the light of my interview with him. Our recommendations were passed to the national Parole Board which more often than not took no notice whatsoever!

  One condition for parole was that the prisoner should express ‘remorse’ for his crimes, which understandably and wisely they did. But not without exception. I interviewed one man who consistently refused to express remorse for a crime he vigorously denied he’d committed. I believed in his innocence, but there was no parole for him. Years later his conviction was annulled.

  Not all prisoners sought parole. One such — an elderly and smiling white-bearded man of seemingly benign disposition — said to me, “Don’t let them release me, gov’nor. I’ve already killed two wives and I’d do it again if they let me go. I’m better off here looking after the prison garden, you see’.

  I much valued this experience and was disappointed when a regional system replaced the individual prison parole boards.

Thanks to my enlightened nurturing, and to the hobby system at Leighton Park all those years ago, I have been hard-wired to preserve and to develop interests and hobbies outside work.

Humanism

Leisure

Photography

As with most people of our generation, my first camera was a Kodak Box Brownie. From aged 8 onwards I was hooked, not only taking snapshots but also processing film using sunlight to expose the negative in direct contact with a small piece of photographic paper and later developing the image before fixing it in a dish of hypo. I was still using the camera 16 years later when it plunged to its death as I accidentally dropped it into a canal over a bridge in Delft.

  I moved on from a Rolleicord twin lens reflex camera to a Canon A1 SLR with various lenses before going digital. I think the results obtainable with my current Panasonic FZ200 are just as good provided you don’t print larger than A4. Not many people print these days, though. 

  As a member of Southampton Camera Club I did a stint as its president for a couple of years. The club runs and hosts an annual  international competition attracting hundreds of entries from amateur and professional photographers from all over the world. My interests were, and still are, in landscape and candid photography. Digital processing is more powerful but less ‘magical’ than using wet chemicals in my darkroom.

  I left the club when it moved further away and no longer take photography as seriously as I did then!

In general

In the lottery of life I have been very lucky, so far, to have escaped the ill health that has affected so many of my former friends and colleagues, most of whom have died and whose company we no longer are able to enjoy.  It is good to have met new friends, though.

  People seem to be surprised that in my ninetieth year I play a passable if not athletic game of tennis (just doubles) two or three times a week at the local club; I abandoned squash (my favourite sport) many years ago. You can play a friendly game of tennis; friendly squash is impossible!

  My favourite place at home, Anne will tell you, is at the computer, delving into the wonderful capabilities of desktop publishing, Photoshop  and web design, and I’m a real sucker for gadgets; but photography has been my favourite hobby in the past.

  Classical music and hi-fi have been something of an obsession, providing ‘spiritual’ (I use the word with hesitation) nourishment, but I regret my apparent inability to gain much pleasure from popular music.

  Anne enjoys playing croquet, runs a book club and so on, but we continue to pursue common interests — attending plays locally or at the National Theatre, concerts including the Proms (properly seated not promenading as we did in our ‘courtship’) and Wimbledon now and then, travelling here and abroad* often in a camping trailer, more recently a couple of indulgent cruises, crosswords invariably at meal times, and watching too much television than is good for us. Best friends for over six decades.

  Above all, we enjoy meeting up with the scattered members of our family, most of them around 3 hours drive away, sadly too far to meet up casually. They all gathered to celebrate our 60th wedding anniversary in 2011.

* including West Indies, China, Canadian Rockies, India, New Zealand, Costa Rica, Zimbabwe, South Africa, Morocco, Iceland and most European countries.