Dave's
Smith's LAW OF AUTO JUMBLES
This article first appeared in the
spring 1999 magazine of the Chiltern vehicle preservation group. It was
written by my Dad a keen restorer, writer, painter and reader. He also lent a
hand in the restoration of my Bug...
SECTION A : PUNTERS
1. A desired item purchased at one stall
will be found cheaper at the next.
2. A desired item not purchased initially
will not be found elsewhere and on return will have been sold.
3. Items purchased on the stall holders
verification will later prove to be the wrong size, model or year.
4. The slicker the stall display, the
higher the prices.
5. The most useful objects are usually
found at the bottom of old cardboard boxes.
6. Most worthwhile items will have been
traded among stall holders themselves before opening time.
7. Items purchased will represent 17% of
any original shopping list and exceed budget by 222%.
8. Change for a ten pound note for items
costing less then 25p will be given in 5p & 10p coins.
9. Stalls are always un-attended or minded
by a grubby five year old when a vital purchase is at hand.
10. Objects transported home for friends
will be filthy, rusty or leak oil.
Section B : Stallholders
1.Objects displayed will always be cheaper
on the immediately adjacent stalls.
2.Objects repeatedly requested at one event
will, if stocked, be ignored the next
3. Objects sold early will reappear on
other stalls at a higher price.
4. Object scrutinized by punters will
display defects undiscovered by the stall holder.
5. The cash value realized for any surplus
objects will never exceed the purchase price.
6. Punters show little interest in items
neatly displayed but pay well for old junk in cardboard boxes.
7. No four consecutive punters will have
less then a ten pound note for 25p items.
8. The most potentially lucrative customer
will call briefly when you have nipped off to the loo.
9. Helpers disappear twenty minutes after
the stall is open and reappear lunch time and after pack-up.
10. Remaindered stock will be items that
are rusty, dirty and will leak oil on the return journey.
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