Alan's Commentating Classics

Those Priceless Quotes From Our Cameraman

ITV have Brain Moore, Sky have Martin Tyler, the BBC have John Motson, but we have ALAN TODD!!! Kind enough to volunteer to be cameraman, Alan had no idea what he was letting himself in for. Wacky on-pitch antics caused comments to leap out of his mouth two seconds before his brain could restrain them. His commentary in 1997 was a welcome addition to the video which we shot, although now he should stop reading or start cringeing.

ALAN'S COMMENTATING GEMS

"Er, I just thought, am I meant to be focusing it?" - Midway through Match One.

"Oh Dear" - A not-so-sympathetic comment after we concede our first goal.

"Was that Joseph?" - After Joseph had scored, screamed, jumped around and generally drawn attention to the fact that it was he who had scored.

"Good Save" - After a striker had blasted the ball at Dave and seen it bounce painfully off his ear.

"Keep it tight" - A rather belated comment seeing as how a striker was just about to shoot having got past the whole defence.

1998 UPDATE
For all you fans of Alan's commentating gaffes, sorry this year was not to be! Very wary of the camera, Alan did everything in his power to prevent any embarrassing comments from slipping out inadvertantly, and we were left without any gems to chuckle at. Obviously this page had a major effect on our great cameraman, sorry!
Since there is nothing funny to write about, I may aswell commend Alan on his camerawork instead. Even without a tripod this year, Alan kept the picture steady despite the fact that half the world's population seemed intent on lurking in front of him and blocking his view. Sunbathers, hairy foreigners, a very convincing Barbera Windsor lookalike, and attention-seeking substitutes all managed to hover on camera at moments of excitement, but Alan persevered like a true pro.
Unperturbed by these would-be film stars, Alan cunningly moved to the other side of the pitch where he managed to finish filming unmolested. Well Done!
Before all you comedy hunters slink away disappointed at the lack of inane ramblings this year, I can pacify you with news that, although Alan didn't say or do anything embarrassing, there were plenty of other humourous sounds that were caught on camera. Some frankly bizarre laughing/coughing frightened me half to death when I was watching the tape, and Joseph's unforgettable impersonation of Dave Busby was a moment of true comic genius. Dave also managed to add to the humour with his constant ribbing of Carl "Batty" Busby after he missed a penalty. His unprovoked shriek of "Sevil!!!!!!!" also resulted in some raised eyebrows.
All these classic moments (and more) will soon be up in the SD sounds gallary so keep a look out for them!

1999 UPDATE
Alan was mysteriously absent from this year's tournament, and we missed his support. We didn't really miss his camerawork though, because we didn't have a camera!!! We're all hoping next year will see a return to the days of classic camerawork, and classic commentating gaffes!!

2000 UPDATE
Alan's absence created a vacancy in the support of SD that was ably filled by Joseph's mate, Stephen. Armed with a professional camera, this budding photographer caught moments of SD magic that will be available in the Pictures Page for all to admire. As our only fan, Stephen's role was vital to morale, and his constant encouragement was invaluable. Even more of an inspiration was the fact that the poor sod rode his pushbike all the way to the tournament!!!!