There was once a Spurs fan and a Gooner who lived next door to each other. The Spurs fan owned a hen and each morning would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast. One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Gooner's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Gooner pick up the egg.
The Spurs fan ran up to the Gooner and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The Gooner disagreed because the egg was laid on his property. They argued for a while until finally the Spurs fan said, "In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I kick you in the balls and time how long it takes you to get back up, then you kick me in the balls and time how long it takes for me to get up, whomever gets up quicker wins the egg."
The Gooner agreed to this and so the Spurs Fan found his heaviest pair of boots and put them on. He took a few steps back, then ran toward the Gooner and kicked him as hard as he could in the balls. The Gooner fell to the floor clutching his nuts howling in agony for 30 minutes. Eventually the Gooner stood up and said, "Now it's my turn to kick you." The Spurs fan said, "Keep the damn egg!"