"Two Andy Gorams, there's only two Andy Gorams..."
- Kilmarnock fans to the Rangers keeper after he had been diagnosed with mild schizophrenia.
"I've told the players we need to win so that I can have the cash to buy some new ones"
- Chris Turner, Peterborough manager, before LC QF, 1992.
"Tell the Kraut to get his ass up front. We don't pay a million for a guy to hang around in defence."
- NY Cosmos executive, on Beckenbauer's positioning.
"I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered"
- George Best.
"That's great, tell him he's Pele and get him back on."
- John Lambie, Partick Thistle manager, when told a concussed striker did not know who he was.
Richard Keys : Well Roy, do you think that you'll have to finish above Manchester United to win the league ?
Roy Evans : You have to finish above everyone to win the league Richard.
"Merseyside derbies usually last 90 minutes and I'm sure today's won't be any different."
- TREVOR BROOKING
"Dumbarton player Steve McCahill has limped off with a badlycut forehead."
- (TOM FERRIE)
"And Arsenal now have plenty of time to dictate the last few seconds."
- (PETER JONES)
"Newcastle, of course, unbeaten in their last five wins."
- (BRIAN MOORE)
There's nobody fitter at his age, except maybe Raquel Welch
- Ron Atkinson lauds Gordon Strachan, 39
Manchester United take more in programme sales than we take on the gate
- Lawrie McMenemy, Southampton
If I walked on water, my accusers would say it is because I can't swim
- Berti Vogts, Germany coach
You don't have to have been a horse to be a jockey
- Arrigo Sacchi, Italy coach, defending a meagre playing record
Love is good for footballers, as long as it is not at half-time
- Richard Moller Nielsen, Denmark coach
I was about to say, before something far more interesting interrupted . . .
- John Motson, France v Bulgaria
Why didn't you just belt it son?
- Gareth Southgate's mother reflects publicly on her son's penalty miss
The only way we will be going to Europe is if the club splash out and take us all to Eurodisney
- Dean Holdsworth, Wimbledon
I was shocked when I was first introduced to the fans because they brought out a sheep, cut its head off and then smeared blood over my forehead
- Manchester United's Ronnie Johnsen on life with Besiktas, Turkey
If the players want to make it hard for me, I am happy to make it twice as hard for them
- Wendy Toms, the first female referee to officiate in a professional game
The score is Sunderland nil, Leicester nil, the temperature is nil (32 degrees) and the entertainment value is not much above nil
- Sunderland v Leicester, Radio 5 Live
I think having Wasps around here as well gives us that little buzz around the place
- Ray Wilkins on the QPR-Wasps groundshare
This is an unusual Scotland side because they have good players
- praise for the Under-21s from Javier Clemente, Spain's coach
There are some great defenders here, I just don't know their names
- David Ginola of THFC and France
It took a lot of bottle for Tony to own up
- Ian Wright on the Arsenal captain's confession to alcoholism
It's sod's law. Now I've got time to improve my golf it's the wrong time of year
- Howard Wilkinson when sacked by Leeds
I know where he should have put his flag up, and he'd have got plenty of help
- Ron Atkinson at Stamford Bridge
The referee was booking everyone. I thought he was filling in his lottery numbers
- Ian Wright
Copyright © 1998 S. C. Productions