Ten reasons why London’s not good enough for Brian Laudrup...

From Football 365

1) He was very disappointed when he found there were no ‘funny punks’ on the King’s Road to take pictures of.

2) His kids keep having nightmares that Ed de Goey and Gustavo Poyet are coming to get them.

3) He can’t go out for a quiet drink with Gazza without some ginger-haired, speccy bloke always turning up and asking 'How much money have you got'.

4) His hilarious ‘Master Bates’ joke doesn’t seem to go down too well at the Bridge.

5) When he was told he could live in Chelsea Village he was really looking forward to some peace and quiet.

6) The manager’s pre-match team talk consists of nothing but Suzanne Vega’s ‘My Name Is Luca’ on a loop tape.

7) He’s getting more and more worried about Dennis Wise’s two-foot tackle.

8) He was appalled that Blue Peter should have taken such a harsh stance against Bacon.

9) With the cost of living in London, he just can’t get by on 75 grand a week.

10) And the football’s a bit hard, isn’t it?

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