London Football!!!

A Whole New Ball Game.


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You turn out for £40,000 a week, play badly, and then the manager expects to be able to drop you. Clearly such outragous practices have no place in modern football, hence the revelation that Tottenham's Jurgen Klinsmann has a clause in his contract which prevents him from being dropped. This explains a lot. Certain Spurs defenders must have clauses that they are not obliged to tackle opposition players.
At Chelsea the player's contracts proberly state that they can only play ten games a season, hence the bewildering rotation of the side.
Palace favour the "Ok we'll play at home but we are contractually obliged to lose" senario; And earlier this season at West Ham, spy suspected that Iain Dowie had a contractual clause which stipulated that if selected he was not expected to score; if any team-mate did place him in a scoring position then the club would be in breach of contract and he'd be available on a free transfer.
Every time a journeyman player has the ball the ref will have to call time out while a team of lawyers and agents come on to the pitch to read the small print of their contracts and mediate between rival players' whose contracts both state that the undersigned has exclusive rights to date Ulrika Jonsson and/or Dani Behr later that day.

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