For those of you in the UK, you will be well aware that Man Utd football club has launched it's own TV station. Here is a list of programmes that probably won't make it onto air!!! (For all non-UK readers, the titles of these shows are all real programmes on UK television).
7am, THE BIGGER BREAKFAST Dieting the Brian Kidd way.
9am, BLUE PETER What is Schmeichel actually saying when he's shouting at his defenders?
11.30am, MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE Teddy Sheringham on filling Cantona's shoes.
12.30pm, EVERY SECOND COUNTS Quiz with Alex Ferguson and his famous stopwatch.
1.30pm, NEIGHBOURS A look at cross-town rivals City (Comedy).
2.30pm, THE GREAT ANTIQUES HUNT Bryan Robson explains what possessed him to sign Gary Pallister.
3.30pm, ANIMAL HOSPITAL Rolf Harris looks at how the surgeons helped Roy Keane back to full fitness.
4pm, CHANGING ROOMS David Beckham talks about the one he sat in for most of the second half against Argentina.
5pm, WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE LIKELY LADS? Ben Thornley, Graeme Hogg and other 'new George Bests' reveal all about their exciting new careers at Accrington Stanley.
5.30pm, WESTCOUNTRY LIVE United's traditional fan base have their say.
6pm, BOBBY CHARLTON'S FOOTBALL SCRAPBOOK
7pm, GARRY BIRTLES' FOOTBALL SCRAPHEAP
8pm, BLANKETY-BLANK Highlights of United in the Champions League knock-out stages, with Andy Cole, Teddy Sheringham and Ole Gunnar Solskjaer.
8.30pm, THE VANISHING MAN Jaap Stam talks us through his Charity Shield performance.
9pm, RED DWARF The Paul Scholes story.
9.30pm, MEN BEHAVING BADLY Starring Norman Whiteside and Paul McGrath, with guest appearance by Tommy Docherty.
10pm, QUESTION TIME WITH ALEX FERGUSON
10.01pm, WINNER TAKES ALL A big-hearted tribute to Arsenal's 1997-98 season.
11pm, RED NOSE DAY SPECIAL More laughs with Peter Schmeichel