Raj-Kumar Khuttan

Raj was our valiant goalkeeper in 1995, unfortunately his knees had a mind of their own and decided to give way at ill-opportune moments! Throughout that tournament Raj's outstanding goalkeeping was let down mainly by his woeful distribution. During one 4-0 thrashing he actually set up two of the goals by rolling the ball straight to the opposing forward!!! Still, his bravery in carrying on when he was clearly struggling was a lesson to all these overpaid, lazy professionals (are you listening Darren Anderton??), and he produced some wonderful saves during the competition.

Due mainly to the fact that he had not had much practise during the year (due to working at McDonalds), Raj was relegated to a sub in 1997, and he and Ben took turns to play each half. Raj put in some solid performances once again, and even got away with two slide tackles (which are illegal in this competition!!!), showing he is a wily veteran. Like so many of our players, Raj found himself penalised by the gormless referee. While trotting back towards our goal he was cynically tripped by the opposing striker, and he fell into the penatly area (and any defender entering his own area is an offense which results in a penalty kick).

This was not the first time this had happened. I, myself, had been found guilty of entering my own area in the first match (even though the ball was out of play and I only put one foot in, therefore I was in no way interfering or gaining an advantage by doing so) and this lead to the penalty which put us 2-0 down (and effectively out of the game).

Apart from these blatant miscarriages of justice, Raj acquitted himself well considering that he only played the second half of each game and, hence, needed to adapt very quickly to the pace. His dogged defending showed that even people who appear to be rather weedy can have other strengths!

1999 UPDATE
Raj missed the tournament due to lack of fitness (and ability!), but was spotted by Carl walking through Ealing Broadway Shopping Centre just minutes before the competition started! He was apparantly doing some shopping before starting work at a nearby Cinema, but it was an eerie coincidental sighting nonetheless!

2000 UPDATE
Raj once again failed to make the cut for the team, but we are hoping our ageing star will return to resurrect some heroic moments from the past in the years to come!

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Copyright © 1998 S. C. Productions