JOURNEY’S END

by Morgan

Xena wasn't trying to eavesdrop, but Iolaus and Alani were standing right under her window while they talked. It was only just dawn, and Alani was leaving.

"I want to thank you for putting up with my intrusion into your life." Alani offered her hand to Iolaus, he took it. Then she turned to go.

"Alani," he said.

She turned back.

"It was good to see you again. It's been a long time."

"I wasn't sure I'd be welcome."

"Hey, I know it took a while, but we parted friends, didn't we?" Alani didn't reply, but from the silence Xena guessed she nodded. "Then you're welcome here, friend." There was a longer silence. "Alani…this journey Xena is planning…"

Alani's voice, gentle but firm. "I'm not an oracle, Iolaus."

"Do you know nothing?" he pressed.

Alani said nothing for a long time. Then, "All I can tell you is that there's more going on than you realise. That's not prophecy, it's fact: Iris brought me to go to Vulcan Mountain, just in time to save Xena's life. Someone on Olympus wants her to win."

Xena didn't want to hear more. She gathered her weapons — the chakram didn't feel any different — and left the room. She strode straight through the house and out of the door, intending to walk around to the barn and get her horse saddled. Instead she found herself running into Iolaus as he came back to the farmhouse.

"Xena. Are you leaving, too?"

"As soon as I'm ready. Alani's gone?"

Iolaus nodded. "Yeah. Just now."

Xena looked at him through narrowed eyes. "Who is she, Iolaus? Why did she come here?"

Iolaus was silent for a moment. He leaned back against the wall of the house. "Alani doesn't live in the same world as the rest of us, Xena. She insists she can't see the future, but if you ask her why she does something, she'll say 'because it was supposed to happen' or 'in a few years, you'll know why'."

"Sounds like madness to me."

Iolaus shook his head. "I wish. Alani's one of the sanest people I know."

"So…who is she?" Xena gave a smile suddenly. "She's not old enough to be one of your old girlfriends. So if — "

"Xena!" He interrupted, mock-shocked. "If you're going where it sounds like, shut up." He frowned. "If you were so curious, why didn't you ask her?"

"She wasn't going to tell me. Will you?"

"Yeah," Iolaus sighed. "She was about fourteen when Hercules and I met her. A scared kid who'd just lost the only family she knew. Alani scared the hell out of me, Xena. She had some real power…and she believed in the kind of justice you've been talking about lately. She killed one of the men who murdered her mother with no more emotion than…well, than you used to show.

"But she's turned into a remarkable woman. Learned to channel her power for good. She stayed in touch with Herc… so I would see her from time to time when I was with him. As for who she is…" Iolaus paused, frowning. "I'm sorry, Xena. It's not mine to tell."

Ares must be stopped. Now.

Xena had always intended to do this alone. Iolaus — Damn the man for knowing her so well! — had manipulated her into letting him tag along. At least, that was how it looked to Xena. The morning she left the farm, he had talked to her about Leipephile: told her about the trouble the girl was having coming to terms with what happened to her at Mycenae. Xena already knew it, and had told him so. When Iolaus mentioned Leipe's plan to join the Amazons — at least for a time — Xena had agreed it was a good idea. Then realised she had fallen into the trap.

Iolaus wouldn't let Leipephile travel all that way alone. Xena couldn't offer to take her there without giving up her plans for Ares. Caught by the only snare Xena couldn't avoid: her love for the girl she had taught and trained, Xena reluctantly agreed that Iolaus and Leipephile could travel with her as far as Pella. She knew when she agreed that wouldn't be the end of it.

Late one night on their journey, Xena found herself discussing her plans with Iolaus. He had been Hercules' companion, after all, and had fought Ares a time or two himself. It was Iolaus who pointed out that she would need to attract Ares' attention.

"You could just smash the temple up. That always worked pretty well for Hercules."

Xena gave a thin smile. "I don't think that's a good idea, Iolaus. I have to talk to him, not fight him." She saw Iolaus frown. "If Ares even suspects what I'm doing I'll never get away with it. I have to keep him guessing until I find what I'm looking for. The only way I can do that is to talk."

"Then…what are you going to do?"

An evil-looking smile. Thoughtfully, she said, "I do have one advantage over Hercules. Ares likes me."

Iolaus' frown deepened. "I'm not sure I like the sound of that."

Even when they reached Pella, where they should have parted company, Iolaus insisted on going with her.

"You're my friend, Xena. I promise not to interfere. But I won't abandon you. Not now."

Anyone else she would have forced to leave. She wanted to force Iolaus to stay away, because if he came along, so would Leipephile. But Xena realised he felt responsible: he had given her the clue that began this. And he was still grieving for his best friend. He needed to see this through to the end.

Reluctantly, against her better judgement, Xena allowed Iolaus to go with her. "I go into that temple alone. Understand? Whatever happens after that, you stay away."

Did she really have Ares' blood in her veins? It was a question Xena had tried for twenty years not to ask, ever since her encounter with the Furies made her suspect it was possible. Now she wished she knew the answer. If Ares could reach into her mind and see what she planned, she was lost. If Ares decided she should die, she was lost. Her only chance was to convince him she was worth something alive.

From that realisation, Xena conceived her most daring, most dangerous plan.

The chakram at her side was a familiar weight. She resisted the urge to touch it as she walked toward the temple. The sword, which Xena fervently hoped she wouldn't need, was held firmly in the sheath across her back. She looked up at the sign of Ares above the temple doors. She took a deep breath, clearing her mind of everything except what she had to do.

Weapons lined the walls. She took note of them instinctively. The temple appeared empty, but Xena knew better. She had always been able to sense Ares' presence. He was here, now. The chakram was almost throbbing with power. It seemed impossible the god would fail to sense it. Xena felt it as a gentle, but insistent pulling in a certain direction…that told her where the weapon she sought was located. She walked where it drew her.

"Xena. What an unexpected pleasure."

Xena turned, slowly, to face the god of war. It took all the concentration she had too keep her expression neutral at the sight of him. He had appeared lounging on the throne in the centre of the room. "Ares," she said levelly.

"What are you doing here, Xena?"

"I came to talk." Xena took a step toward him, then another. "Your army really messed up at Mycenae, didn't they?" She kept her tone neutral. Keep him guessing. "You should have waited for me, Ares."

He rose from his throne, spreading his hands with a resigned look. "This is about Hercules, isn't it?" he asked in a bored voice.

"Hercules?" she repeated, keeping her own voice low to hide her feelings. "Now, why would you think I'd care about that?" She approached him slowly, her eyes never leaving his. "Oh, I'll admit, when I first heard about it, I was pretty angry with you. But I got over that, and I realised something. What's been missing from my life all these years." She was standing close to him, now, almost touching him.

"And what would that be?" he asked her.

She had definitely caught his interest. "Power," she said.

"Go on…"

"I like to be on the winning side. You're about to achieve what you've always wanted…a world of order, where force of arms keeps the peace and one great warrior rules." His words, spoken to her long ago. "I'd like to be that warrior."

Ares walked around her, slowly, speculatively. His hand traced a line down her arm. "My dear Xena…it's been so long. Don't you think it might be too long?"

His hand snaked around her waist. She covered his hand with her own before he could touch the chakram. Trying to make the gesture seem casual, she stepped just a little closer to him, moving his hand away from her body, safely away from the chakram. "I take it we have a deal?"

"I already have an excellent commander for my army." Ares leaned closer to her.

His words gave her the perfect excuse to avoid his attempt to kiss her; she didn't think she could have maintained the act through that. She moved gracefully out of his embrace and put a few paces between them. She gave a contemptuous smile. "I know. Darius. Ares, he couldn't conquer an empty field." As the dark god moved closer to her, she backed away, leading him further into the temple. Focus, Xena. Where's the Eye? She had to be close. "Think about it, Ares. You and me. I'll show you war. Remember Cirra? Or Corinth? Messinia?"

"Ah, Xena, you are tempting. But after all these years, you can't blame me for being suspicious. Tell me, what caused this sudden change of heart?"

She decided to tell him: Ares was master of deception, he wouldn't be expecting honesty. "You have something I want, Ares. I'll do whatever I have to in order to get it." And you're about to tell me exactly where it is, you bastard.

"And what would that be?"

"The Eye of Hephaestus." She watched his eyes as she said the words, and smiled.

"What do you think she's doing in there?"

Iolaus took his eyes off the temple doors long enough to look at his nervously pacing daughter. "I don't know, Leipe."

"Is Gabrielle right, Dad? Is Xena going to die?"

The blunt question, voiced by Leipephile, had been on his mind, too. He believed Xena could do it. But what if she couldn't? If she died, too, he was never going to forgive himself. How could he ever face Gabrielle again? Unlike Xena, it wasn't revenge Iolaus sought. Not even couched in terms of justice. He had spent most of his life fighting back to back with Hercules: a man who understood real justice. They had fought for a better world, and Iolaus knew they had created it. He had once been given a glimpse of the world as it might have been without Hercules. After that, he had never again questioned the effectiveness of what they did together. Even if they couldn't help everyone, they did enough.

At Mycenae, too, Hercules had been fighting for a better world. Against every instinct, he had made the decision to stay and fight, because Ares' drive for power had to be stopped. And at that moment, in that place, Hercules was the only one who could do it. But there was another warrior who knew Ares. Someone else who had fought him many times, and had won before. That was Xena.

"Dad?"

Iolaus realised he'd been silent for too long. Leipephile came and sat beside him, her gaze, like his, fixed on the temple doors.

"Leipe…I don't know. I hope she'll win. But I don't know."

The calm of the day was shattered by the sound of Xena's warcry. Iolaus caught his breath. It had begun.

Xena knew he was toying with her. Sparks flew as their swords clashed again. The force of the impact numbed her arm to the shoulder. She swung again, with all her strength and again the blow was blocked. She knew she couldn't hurt him. He was a god. Immortal. The knowledge didn't stop her trying, though. It was a chance to let the anger out, finally. Ares. Cowardly murdering bastard. She struck again.

Ares' sword never came close to her. He wasn't even trying to hurt her: just having a little fun with the fight. Knowing that increased her rage. The anger was all Xena had left. She allowed it to rule her, for now. Another arm-numbing clash of weapons. Ares raised his hand. A casually thrown bolt of power lifted Xena off her feet and threw her into the wall.

You seek revenge. You seek to conquer.

She hit the wall with such force that the stones began to crumble. Xena lay still for a moment, catching her breath, dealing with the pain. No time for this. She sprang to her feet, gripping her sword in both hands. Ares was ready for her. An over-arm swing toward her head she blocked instinctively, ducking out of the way as she raised her sword.

Ares was laughing. "You can't win, Xena. You can't defeat the God of War."

Anger. Black and red in her veins. Pain of grief worse than the pain of any wound. She had to win. There was no other way. She struck again, her blade slicing toward his legs.

To conquer others is to have power. To conquer yourself…

Ares leapt over her slicing blow. He kicked out with both feet, hitting her squarely in the stomach. Xena found herself flying again. The blow made her double over…somehow she turned it into a somersault, coming to land with his throne between them. Automatically, her hand went to her chakram.

The instant her hand touched it she jerked away. The knowledge imprinted suddenly in her mind: the Eye was beneath her. Directly below the temple. I've killed a god before. I can do it again.

As a villain you were awesome. As a hero, you are a sentimental fool.

Xena's warcry was a scream of rage. Her attack on Ares was renewed. Blow after blow, all parried. But now it was she driving him back. Ares made her. He gave her everything she had: her skills, her strength, her focus. Now it was all turned against him. Her fury gave her strength to match his godly powers.

"Ah, Xena! How long I've waited to see that fire in your eyes!" Ares taunted her as he parried each furious blow. Still she drove him back.

"I'm in your blood, Xena. We're just the same inside. All your hate. Your anger." Ares' sword locked with hers and for a moment they were both still. She stared into his black eyes, naked hatred burning from her gaze. "…Your desire…" Ares purred.

She wrenched her sword back. She let out a scream of rage. Her sword sliced through the air, too fast for even Ares to block it. Straight through his body where the god's black heart should have been. Their eyes met again. With satisfaction she saw pain in his. She yanked the blade free.

Everything was still. Ares laughed, looking down at the instantly closing wound in his chest. "Not bad, Xena."

I can't stand to think of you dying for revenge.

Clash. The god was through with games now. A succession of blows rained down on her. Strength and speed that could only come from a god. All Xena could do was block. And that was more than most mortals could have done. Slowly, inexorably, she was driven back.

A vicious twist of his sword sent her weapon flying from her hand. A blow to her chest threw her to the ground. Helplessly, she felt herself skid across the floor until she hit the wall again. Weapons lining the walls above her.

Ares vanished. To re-appear standing over her, sword raised. "You hate me now, don't you, Xena? That's good. That's my warrior princess. Too bad it's too late."

Too late. But it had always been too late. What had made her think she could defeat a god? The flood of grief in her heart? The inexorable tide of her anger? Or simply her own foolish pride. She couldn't win. Xena looked up at the sword poised above her heart, and accepted death.

I can't let you die if there's anything I can do to stop it.

Xena met the eyes of the god of war. "No, Ares," she said defiantly. "I don't hate you. I pity you. All you know is murder and blood. You can beat me, Ares. You can even kill me. But you can never, ever defeat me." She was going to die. "It ends now. Here."

Stop it, Xena. Stop willing. Stop desiring.

A scream of inarticulate rage came from the war god. The sword began to descend. Xena rolled out of the way. Found her feet. Grabbed a shining shield from the wall.

"Goodbye, Xena." Ares raised his hand and she saw the energy building up.

Stop hating.

She stopped.

The crackling bolt of energy passed between them. Xena allowed the shield to drop to the floor. Ares' lightning bolt hit her…and dissipated harmlessly. Xena stared at Ares calmly.

He tried again. This time it was a ball of fire, all the power of his godhood behind it. Xena raised a hand and the fireball was deflected, bringing down half of the temple wall behind him.

Xena was mortal, Ares a god. She could not possibly defeat him. But now she understood. Like all the great mysteries, it was so simple, so obvious, she had never thought of it. She didn't have to win. Ares' driving need was for victory, for domination. All Xena had to do was deny him that. To become his equal. Stalemate.

In that quiet core inside that she had found only a few times in her life, and would never find again, Xena finally understood that last mystery: that she could win by not winning. It did not come to mind in words, there was no time for that. It was a single instant of blinding knowledge. A single instant with no room for vengeance, for hatred, for grief…only that quiet and stillness.

Xena's shield, abandoned on the ground beside her, suddenly flew at Ares, arcing through the air like a chakram. It slammed into his midriff, lifting him into the air. The floor of the temple collapsed. The path of the shield carried the god down through the hole. The look of shocked surprise on his face would live in her memory for eternity.

Xena moved toward the hole and leapt in. She somersaulted in the air, drawing her chakram as she fell. She landed lightly on her feet, like a cat. She watched as Ares got to his feet. Behind him, a great eye-shaped jewel began to glow red.

"Goodbye, Ares." Xena threw the chakram.

The god's eyes followed its path. A flash of sparks as it hit a pillar. A distinctive clang as it ricocheted off a wall. A sound, hardly heard, as it arced through the air toward the great glowing jewel.

"Nooooooo!" Ares screamed.

The chakram hit the jewel. The chakram shattered. The energy released by that contact filled the tiny crypt with light. Xena ducked her head, covering her eyes. Beams of energy spewed out from the jewel. Both Xena and Ares were thrown backward.

Xena saw Ares writhing in a beam of red light. His head was thrown back, the chords in his neck standing out. His back arched, his arms spread out almost in supplication. An animalistic scream of pure agony was torn from his throat.

Xena felt nothing. No hate. No satisfaction. Nothing.

Outside the temple, the very air shook with the echoing scream of the god. The sound brought Iolaus to his feet. He turned toward the temple, his heart pounding, adrenaline pumping through his veins.

Xena was in agony. Her entire universe was pain. Her body convulsed within the power she had released.

A series of images fluttered through her mind: her entire life in a few seconds of memories:

…Standing in a field watching her father, Atrius, riding toward her … the death of Lyceus as they fought for Amphipolis … Caesar: "Break her legs." … M'lila's death, shot by an arrow meant for Xena … watching Cirra burn … Her seduction of Iolaus: "You do this for all your warriors?" and her reply, "Only the special ones." … Hercules … "You changed my life, taught me how to live." … Gabrielle: "You have got to take me with you." … Callisto … "You understand hatred, but you've never given into it." … Britannia, and the birth of Hope … Another death, her son, tearing her soul to pieces … "You lied to me." … Confronting Caesar: "…between us, Xena, it's hatred, war and conflict. And it's love." … And through it all, Ares was there. A constant presence in her life whether she knew it or not, guiding her deeper into hatred, manipulating her destiny …

…Travelling back from Rome with Gabrielle: "How many times am I going to hurt you?" … Gabrielle's sacrifice of her own life when Hope finally died … the death of Callisto … fighting the shadows of her dark past with Hercules … once again, it was Gabrielle who paid the price … "I can't do this any more." … Leading an army again, this time trying to fight for good … Hercules: "I don't want us to be on opposite sides again … Gabrielle's tale of Mycenae … the raging flood of grief in her heart … "Sometimes the heart needs to be soft." …

And it was over.

The ground was shaking. Leipephile tried to run and fell, hard to the ground. Iolaus staggered to where his daughter lay and they clung to each other. The noise was a roar of grinding earth and rock. It was impossible to stand.

And then it stopped. A second's silence, then a new sound.

The temple walls crumbled. With an echoing crash the whole temple collapsed. A cloud of dust rose, slowly, mockingly.

Leipephile screamed. "Xena!"

Nothing is soft as water. Yet who can withstand the raging flood?

In the silence that followed the collapse of the temple, Xena rose slowly and began to climb. Her mind was numb, her actions automatic. She had gone only a few steps when the gleam of silver caught her eye. Hardly knowing why, she lifted the shining object in her hand and went on climbing. There was a tiny beam of sunlight ahead. She moved toward it.

It took almost an hour. Each fallen stone had to be moved carefully or the whole lot would come down on her. With leaden steps she moved toward the sunlight. When she emerged, finally into the light, she turned around and looked at the ruined temple. It would never rise again.

Xena sat on a stone and stared at the object she'd brought from the temple. It was her chakram. Well, half of it. The other half was somewhere in there, buried under the rock. The shattered chakram seemed to reflect her shattered soul. Ares was gone, trapped for eternity, or until she chose to free him. But only now, when it was over, did Xena understand the cost. She could never leave this place. Part of her would remain here, trapped with him.

Xena never knew how long she sat there, staring at the shattered chakram in her hand. After an endless time, she felt a silent hand on her shoulder. She turned her head, and looked up into the grave blue eyes of her friend.

"Xena, it's over. Let's get away from here."

With an effort, she stood. Xena and Iolaus walked away from the temple together.