Man Bashing Jokes


What is the thinnest book in the world ?
What men know about women.

Why don't men have to use toilet paper ?
Because God made them perfect arseholes.

How can you tell if a man is sexually excited ?
He's breathing.

Why do women rub their eyes in the morning ?
Because they don't have balls to scratch.

What is a man's idea of foreplay?
Half an hour of begging.

How do you save a man from drowning ?
Take your foot off his head.

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb ?
One ... men will screw anything.

What do you call a man with an IQ of 5 ?
Gifted.

How can you tell if a man is happy ?
Who cares ?

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
We don't know ... its never happened.

Why do men always have stupid looks on their faces ?
Because they are stupid.

What do men and beer bottles have in common ?
They're both empty from the neck up.

What common factors do men have with a toilet seat,
anniversaries and the clitoris ?
They miss them all, usually by miles.

How are men and parking spots alike ?
The good ones are always taken and most of the ones that
are left are handicapped.

What do men have in common with tiles ?
If you lay them properly the first time, then you can walk
over them forever.