I'm working at the moment, on the new extension to the North of Blackburn on the motorway. Up to now I have had no help at all from the DHSS or the Employment Service for the past month and a half approximately. The only giro I've received within that time was for £28.50 which covered the time from when they'd stopped my money over the weekend until I'd started work on the Monday.

I started work under totally chaotic conditions, namely my flat is half empty, I have had no money at all except the £28.50 which I have had to make stretch a long way because of electricity and everything else. I see my first wage packet tomorrow.

Mostly, in the mornings, I get up at 5.30am, have a quick shower, couple of slices of toast, cup of coffee whatever, then a 5 mile walk to work from one side of Blackburn to the other side, start work at 7.30am and that's that all the way through, usually sandwiches that I take to work, I get the night before, be it either through Father Jim's or from the convent save them until the next day for work. When I finish work, I walk back again because I don't have any money to pay out for bus fares, it's as simple as that. It's just a case of surviving, that's all.

At the time I was going out with a girl for quite a long time, it ended up she was pregnant, had a daughter and everything, I was in a totally different place. After I'd been kicked out of her place, I didn't know anybody within that town so I had nowhere to go. I spent about 3 months just wandering about going through hostels, different cities, sometimes sleeping under bridges, sometimes garden plots and after about 3 months I got totally fed up with it. I decided to make a stand somewhere or other, so I did. It started off that I got a job on a building site. I used to give a false address, but obviously a proper name and insurance number for tax purposes, and then what I'd do come 5 o clock, I'd finish the days' work, leave the building site as usual, but go back into the building site without anybody knowing at about 8 o clock in the evening and I slept in the building containers. I had a small alarm clock and I'd set it for about 5.30 in the morning, in case anybody started work early the next day, then I'd come out of there and the next day started again, basically just struggle, struggle, struggle.

Somehow, I've managed to find strength within myself to get through things, no matter how difficult, without sliding into drugs or alcohol or a criminal way of life or whatever, due most probably, to the way I have been brought up. I have been one of the fortunate ones, that I find that strength within myself to be able to cope with demanding circumstances, so to speak. Things have changed, but I am still struggling. I came back to Blackburn 4 years ago, and that was under circumstances that my eldest brother was found dead in Preston. He was leading a double life and basically died of an overdose. I stopped with my mother for a while, but that didn't work out because I'd been away from home near enough 13 years at that period of time. After a couple of months, I realised that we just didn't get on, there was continual stress all the time so she threatened to kick me out and I didn't have anywhere to turn to. I started here in Blackburn, going about obviously trying to get my own flat, I managed to get my own flat eventually and after lying a bit about the circumstances, I managed to get a flat from Northern Counties because I was then placed under the homeless scheme.

Now, I've been living in this flat since February, I've always made the same mistake of trying to better myself work-wise, but unfortunately I've never really had longer terms of employment, so as a result, fall back, always kick backs from the DHSS or the Job Centre when it comes to normal advantages when applying for furniture, or whatever, for the flat. As a result the only things I've got in the flat are things that have been contributed from Unit 5, which is not very much, and that is it. I haven't got a cooker. I go out now and then once every 3 or 4 months but that's it. I am still at the starting stage of building things up and this work I've got now will take me through until Christmas, after Christmas I'll wait and see, I'll just have to make the most of it. As it stands, its not a bad job, I've worked under worse circumstances so it's just a question of battling through. I do get tired of it now and again. I do get offers of doing drugs or whatever, but I've always stayed on the right side of the law, so to speak, as far as the law is concerned, even though its not really worth it in this Country. When you're down in the dumps, you always come back again and again to the same situation, but you keep on getting kicked back down again.