Aug/Sept 1998

Thrombosis is a condition which can come from injecting. It's clotting of the veins. I initially got my thrombosis through injection in my groin on both sides. I managed somehow to snap a needle off in my groin. I've been to the infirmary, it was left there for nine months which caused severe abscessing and it could have lead to septicaemia. I collapsed one afternoon, I was rushed into hospital for the operation on my groin and that's when I developed thrombosis.

There are several types of thrombosis, I have deep vein thrombosis in my calf which causes severe swelling and extreme pain. I am lucky if I can walk to the end of the street and back. It is a medical condition that cannot be cured, I am stuck with it for the rest of my life and I'll be lucky if I don't lose my leg within the next ten years. The pain is excruciating, like I've never felt before, it's like a stabbing pain, it's hard to describe unless you've had it yourself, it is extremely painful. You can't walk, I can't pick my child up, I can't walk the dog, my leg can sometimes double the size in width because the blood is going down the arteries and can't come back up the veins. It's like basically someone has put a tap on it, and the blood has to go somewhere which causes the smaller veins, the capillaries, they can't cope with the extra pressure so they burst causing internal bleeding and that's where the pain comes from. Unfortunately, like I said, there is no cure for it.

I am on morphine when I am in hospital, and other extremely strong painkilling drugs to take the pain away, but it doesn't seem to work. Unfortunately, I am stuck with it for the rest of my life

I first started drugs when I came out of prison in 1990. I was into the acid parties. At first it was a laugh and a joke, I can handle this, it won't happen to me. Then when I couldn't afford to support the habit that I had, I took to selling heroin as I've never been a burglar or a thief. Unfortunately, in the area I grew up in it was quite common on the streets and easy to get hold of. In fact, it was easier to buy Heroin than it was to buy cigarettes, so obviously, when you're selling your habit develops, gets bigger and bigger and at one point I was on nearly £200 per day and still not feeling the affects of the Heroin, it was just so that I could operate daily.

Luckily, I have met someone who cares for me and has nearly got me off it, but I am still there. I think every Heroin addict is looking for a buzz when they very first start, known as gouching, but once you have it developed over a couple of months that's it, you'll never get it back, it doesn't matter how much money you spend and eventually you will kill yourself.

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