EDGES MAGAZINE Issue

October 1998

My name is James, I've been homeless now for about six months. I became homeless because I split up with my wife, we got divorced and I got booted out of the flat because we've got a child. I've been in a hostel but I got thrown out of there because I was accused of using drugs and now I can't get into any of the hostels in the area because they send a fax round listing people, drug abuse and things like that. The way we survive really I suppose is by begging donations of people to get our food and things. At night time we sleep at the back of the Savoy with a blanket. We can go to the Salvation Army and get sleeping bags, but other than that sometimes we've got nothing, so it can be pretty cold, it can be pretty horrifying at times for some people.

I was with my wife Zoe and my daughter Jodie. I went on a fishing holiday with my mates and when I came back there was a bloke already in the house saying to me that I didn't live here any more and he'd been seeing my wife for six months. She was also pregnant with my second child, and basically I had a bit of an argument, a bit of a fight with the bloke and I had to leave because the police were called, I basically defended myself and what I thought was my family and I got arrested and got sent to prison for it. I was given a six-month sentence for grievous bodily harm on the gentleman who is now with my wife.

In prison it wasn't nice, I was in an adult prison, and life in there is just about the same as being on the streets, you've got to fend for yourself and there isn't anyone in there to look after you, even though there are officers there. Basically, it's a case of you're on your own, you fend for yourself and you look after number one in any way that you possibly can. When I finally got released from prison, I only served six weeks out of the three months, because you only do half your time, I was put into a hostel and because they said that I'd been using drugs with another person that was in my room with me, they threw me out. They were saying that it was illicit use of drugs and you get reported to the police, so even though I don't use drugs I've now got a record for drug abuse with the police. So every time now if I get pulled by the police on the streets it comes up on my record now "drug abuse", even though I've got violence on the record as well, so it doesn't make me sound very good.

I've discovered through living on the streets now that its like a family with the homeless people; every beggar and homeless person will try to look after each other when you're in trouble. A lot of them will give out blankets and other bits and pieces, but some of them can be pretty terrifying towards you, for example you might sit on someone's step one day and beg, and they'll come along and say "go away, you're on my patch" and they will pull out hammers and things like that and they threaten to beat you with them. Like I said, it is a case of looking after number one at all times, you've got to be wary of everything that is going on around you with the other homeless people and obviously public people. People don't like you being on the streets.

When I left school; my upbringing was pretty rough, my mum and dad got divorced, my mum got remarried and we had problems. I finally got kicked out when I was about 15 by my mother because of the next step-dad, we just didn't get on, that was me and my sister. Luckily, N. Jla (my sister) stayed with friends and I was on the streets for about three months until I was old enough to get a bedsit and things like that. I was on the dole, jobs were not easy to get then and it was a case of you get whatever you can. Up until the age of 22 I used to fend for myself until I met the one who became my wife, which was Zoe.

I am not in love with Zoe anymore and I hope she gets the best of everything, obviously I would like to see my daughters - I'd give the world for that, she won't let me have any kind of access, I've been through the courts, through social services, everything but she says because I am on the streets I am nobody now and as far as she is concerned, until I get myself sorted, then I'm not ever going to get any access to my daughters. I wish obviously I could be in a better situation and I am trying to better myself and get off the streets, but it is not as easy as that.