|
EDGES MAGAZINE Issue |
October 1998 |
| FAILURE | |
| LOU
CABOT FROM THE USA Speaks about his rehabilitation |
IS AN EVENT |
| NOT A PERSON | |
| HIS
EXPERIENCE OF ADDICTION IS REFLECTED IN HIS SONG WRITING  To
many people the word success probably means financial rewards, a
beautiful house, cars, boats, time, and the resources to enjoy life
-- maybe the opportunity to travel and see the world. To us in
Recovery, the word has other meanings as well. I was told that
failure is an event, not a person. Many things can make us feel unsuccessful. When we compare ourselves to others, to their possessions, their relationships, their homes, or their apparent emotional stability, we feel either better than or less than. In time, and due to the program, we work and we slowly start to learn that success is the ability to be a part of instead of apart from. When I see a newcomer come in and I see the destruction and spiritual bankruptcy, I remember how I came in, completely defeated. That was over ten years ago. Today I am successful in my recovery. As the media bombards us with images of the Beautiful People, in the Beautiful Places wearing Beautiful Clothes, in Beautiful Cars, with Beautiful Bodies with 5 percent body fat, and I compare that to me and my life, I can feel less than, and, therefore, unsuccessful. I start telling myself that if only I had not drank and used for twenty-five years, and made a complete disaster of my life I might be one of these Beautiful People. (When I think these things), I lose gratitude and become bitter and discontented; I ruthlessly judge myself, and feel very unsuccessful. The other side of this is what we see on TV is not real. That is not the real world. My world consists of work, meetings, relationships, and goals. I try not to set unrealistic goals I cannot possibly achieve. I try to stay in a realistic place within my dreams and ambitions. Just knowing this is a success to me. Knowing that a compulsive-addictive person , such as myself, can actually learn to have balance and stay in reality, is a success. If someone had told me ten years ago that today someone would invite me to write an article and share my thoughts with you good folks, I would have laughed. It was unthinkable. This is a tremendous blessing, and I'm so grateful to do it. I feel very successful, and I am in your debt. Having faith in a power greater than myself . . . what an awesome concept. I am not alone. I am not forsaken. I am found today. I can go anywhere in the world, from the United States to the United Kingdom, and find the recovery community, and I am home, I can share my fears and joys and you will understand me. That's successful living. |
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