Elaine Kennedy , pictured with two of ourDrop in Clients,shares her views. One of the great joys of working at St. Anne's House is the sight of a young person who had made a huge made a huge mess of their lives,then gone through our project, being reconciled with his or her family. In some cases the rift had been total and seemed irrevocable, yet it happens. Slowly but surely, as the client progresses and comes back to life, the rift narrows until that incredible moment when client and parents are reconciled. The emotion generated at that point can be overwhelming. It is then that you are most aware of the awfulness they have experienced, the anguish of the parent pushed over the edge by the antics of their child in the grips of narcotic domination,and the desperation of the addicted youngster who yearns for parental love yet is fully aware that the abyss they all find themselves in is of their ownmaking. Love and hate;destruction and reconciliation are such life gripping,powerful emotions.There is a great deal of emphasis at the moment on the words 'forgiveness' and 'reconciliation'. Recently, much was discussed about forgiving certain long-term criminals. Forgiveness must not be confused with retribution. One can forgive a criminal who has committed an offence against us; yet his retribution is the law and as such, must be carried out. Forgiving is not reducing a sentence. The sentence is decided by the law of the land,metered out by the appropriate people, and must be observed. Forgiveness is on a higher plain altogether; it is a process that needs the power of God in order to be fulfilled – it is a two-way healing process needing time. It requires the offender to know he needs forgiving and to accept that he is forgiven. It requires the offended to acknowledge that remorse and guilt have worked through and the offender must now be allowed to feel healed and free to blossom anew. There must be no question of being owed or owing – no looking back. When that truly happens,then you have reconciliation. That is the subtle difference between forgiveness and reconciliation – the former is the sowing of the seed;the latter is the burgeoning,the coming to fruition. This process needs to happen to us many times in our lifetimes. It does not only apply to earth-shattering incidents,but to very small ones too. Every day, several times a day, we inflict little nastiness' on one another. We are constantly making others feel marginalised and pushed to an edge. How often we belittle someone close to us in order to assert ourselves;showing off, wanting to be the center of things;all these require someone to be forgiving,someone to know they need it and those two people to find reconciliation in the sure knowledge that it is the only way to be at peace . Lack of reconciliation is what pushes people to edges,the inside edge of hidden pain;the outside edge of despair, hatred and aggression. If we don't feel forgiven, we feel unlovable, valueless and rejected. The leper must have felt like that until Jesus touched him. By reaching out to him, Jesus was saying "we are all part of the human race – we all look the same to God". The leper then felt at peace with himself,his God and the very fellow humans who had cast him out. To Jesus,who was young and had human form,the leper was saying "you are doing O.K.". This beautiful to-ing and fro-ing of healing love is what is needed constantly. At our Drop-In Centre we feed up to 70 people everyday. The sharing of food is eucharistic in that it paves the way to finding out other needs;but the to-ing and fro-ing of soup and friendship across the hatch is reconciliatory too. That is why the clients and the volunteers keep turning up day after day –God's gifts are visible each day in our humble kitchen. Because of the devastation life can bring, we need to forgive;to be forgiven;to be reconciled and share our mutual,fragile smallness. To see our young clients reconciled with themselves,their close family is to see the gift of our mutual and all-forgiving God. We cannot survive without it. To witness it so visibly at work in our projects,is a treasure beyond price. |
