Edges Magazine Issue 21: I was held at knifepoint by an addict

EDGES MAGAZINE Issue

April 2000

I was held at KNIFEPOINT

by an addict

Christine shares her story.

I was held at I think you are leading the way forward for the church with your organisation T.H.O.M.A.S. I feel, as do many others that the millennium will herald enormous changes in the world,changes for the good,as we can see evidence of God's will at work already, in all sorts of areas of life.

I am a pharmacist by profession,and my work brings me into contact with people with mental health and drug abuse problems. In 1986 I was held at knife point by a drug addict who had jumped over the counter of the shop where I was working, and then demanded drugs,which were held under lock and key, syringes and money. I was absolutely terrified by this incident,which took me a long time to get over. I developed an attitude of mistrust and disdain towards the drug users I had contact with. The self neglect and dishonesty of most of them continually reinforced this. Then,in 1994 I had what some may call an encounter. I had up to this point been a firm atheist with a belief that equal distribution of wealth was the answer to all social ills,and that politics was all important. I felt that religion turned people away from political interests and taught them to acquiesce in the status quo. I felt that philanthropy did not require a religious base, but that social justice was what was needed above all else.

During the year 1994 a drug user who regularly visited our shop caught my attention. He was very polite, attentive to an elderly customer and had a courteous demeanor. He seemed to be ashamed of his treatment. He had an appearance of a 'hard man' with tattoos and so on,and would talk of time spent in jail. He also had kind eyes.

I began to look into drug abuse as a subject of continuing study. I read library books about addiction,psychotherapy, counselling,and other types of addiction such as anorexia and relationship addiction. The same themes permeated all my reading. The only lasting cure for addiction came from self – love and submission to a higher power. It struck me that these were religious themes,but my knowledge of the Bible was so scant that I could not grasp much from rudimentary religious knowledge. In October 1995 I was introduced to a nun who was teaching in Cardinal Newman College where my husband had recently started work. I visited her at her con vent,and was astounded by her personal qualities, intelligent, insightful, open- minded and kind. She made a lasting impression upon me, and I understood that the Church has a thorough understanding of the concept of addiction.

I began to engage the regular drug users whom I encountered in conversation,and since then I have learnt a lot from this section of the community, who are completely ostracised by all but their own friends. It is not possible to generalise, but many of these people are very spiritual in their outlook. They can be very loving,kind and generous to one another. They do not often value property, but place enormous value upon their children and their relationships. These same people may lie, steal, even from friends and family, and become enmeshed in a life of self – deceit and instant gratification. The contradictions are often stark. Rehabilitation Centres,whether religious or not,are relying upon religious principles in their work. There is a huge need for confession,absolution,self-forgiveness, making amends and faith.

I believe that people who have used drugs and maybe been to prison,and who feel the contempt of ordinary people on a daily basis do not come to the Church for fear of judgement from the congregation,and also because of the discipline required in attending Mass at set times of the week. Your organisation has grasped the nettle. I think the work you are doing with the homeless,and with the Probation Service, who in my experience share the Christian values of the Church,is a model for the whole country. I hope we shall read more about it in future editions of 'The Universe'.

Since my foray into the themes of addiction, my religious interest has grown,but my knowledge is still small. I am interested in the development of inter-faith co-operation,because the important themes are very similar in all religions. I have no allegiance, although I was christened in the Church of England. I prefer the Catholic service , and there are aspects of Catholicism which I prefer. I believe in the Immaculate Conception.

The encounter I have told you about has led me to a new and fascinating world which I had previously shunned. I firmly believe that the ideas of the Church will permeate through every aspect of life in the time to come .