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EDGES MAGAZINE Issue |
October 2000 |
- this time I'm not going back
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Mick came to us
from Prison. He is in our Reconcile Project and doing well.
Im
twenty-six and Im from Darwen. Im currently staying in Blackburn at
St. Annes House.
I was serving a prison sentence at Haverigg
Prison. A drug worker from Haverigg contacted a probation officer about some
outreach work for me. The probation officer told me about St. Annes House
and put me in touch with Father Jim. A week later I had a visit from Father Jim
who arranged for me to come onto the Reconcile Project when I left prison. That
was a God send really. I have been here two months now and if it wasnt
for this programme I would be back in prison.
I came out of prison and
used on the first day I got out. I scored in Lancaster and then came back to
Blackburn. Without me knowing Father Jim had arranged for me to stay in a Bed
& Breakfast for a week before I started this programme.
I started
using drugs at the age of fourteen. I was using the recreational ones like
amphetamines, magic mushrooms and cannabis. At eighteen I ended up with a
prison sentence. I come out of prison and started getting into heroin because
thats what was about at that time and I have been on it ever since.
I did quite well at school up until about third year where we merged
schools. I was at St. Thomas Aquinas in Darwen and we merged with St. Edmund
Arrowsmith and became St. Bedes. I didnt fit in and started playing
truant. I got to the fifth year and thought that I better start trying but I
didnt know my way around the school so I stopped going and I had two days
there in my fifth year. In that time I was sniffing solvents, smoking cannabis
and taking acid. It took me out of myself, it took me to some where I
didnt know that was full of fantasy.
I started taking drugs
because I was introduced to them by some friends who were a bit older than me.
I liked the idea and thought it would be a laugh, an adventure. .
I
have served four prison sentences for burglary, theft, fraud and deception and
theft by deception.
The amount of heroin I would use a day differs. I could spend
twenty pounds a day and that would stop me feeling ill but I could spend
anything up to two hundred or three hundred pounds. I used to work fitting
kitchens and bedrooms with my uncle and I used to come home with two hundred or
three hundred pounds some weeks. Id come home on Friday and would be
coming into work on Monday asking for a sub. My uncle could only put up with it
for so long and eventually he said Im going to have to let you go. He
didnt like seeing me screwed up on heroin and he didnt like giving
me two hundred or three hundred pounds a week to do it. He did tell me to get
your head together and that if I did there was a job there waiting. That was
two years ago and the opportunity is still there.
The last few time
that Ive been away I have treat it as kind of a break. I appreciated
being locked up so that I couldnt use. The first time I was locked up was
a shock. I was at a Young Offenders Institution in Wigan. There was violence,
bullying and lack of general interest.
In prison you are locked up
unless you get issued with a job. There are officers around you with their eyes
on you all the time. They let you out in the morning to go for your breakfast
and then its back to your cell to eat. If you are working then you would
go to work, if you are not working you are locked up in your cell until dinner
time. There is an hours exercise in the morning from ten till eleven. You then
have your dinner and its the same again if you are not working you are
locked in your cell until tea time. Then when youve had your tea you are
locked up until the following morning.
When your cell is opened up
everyone is running around like idiots to get their drugs sorted. It might be
weed, heroin or whatever. Drugs are rife in prison. There may be a couple of
days when there is none about but it doesnt last very long. The drugs
come in on visits, parcels or if its an open prison they get dropped
outside.
Not the last sentence I was on but the sentence before I was
in Preston. I had withdrawals and I had been on a detox. I got put in a cell
with a lad who is now dead and he was getting quite an amount of heroin in
every other day, like two or three hundred pounds worth at a time. I was with
him for about four weeks and I was using everyday. I used more in there than I
was using before I went in.
Since Ive come to the T.H.O.M.A.S.
Organisation my spirit has been lifted. The amount of help I have received has
been amazing. If it wasnt for this place I know I would have been back in
prison within four weeks. Now Im trying to rebuild myself to go out, not
use, go back to work and just live a normal life. I want to get the things
Ive always wanted, like a motorbike and a driving license. I want to
build up my relationship again with my family. I dont want to let myself
down now or let my family down because I feel its my last chance.
T.H.O.M.A.S. has taught me to open up and speak to people and not to bottle
things up. I do find it hard to speak to people about whats going on for
me. Ive never been in an environment before where you can open up and
talk to people before, its quite strange. I feel its working and I
feel Im changing day by day. |
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