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PRISON HASN ’T STOPPED ME BEING A
CRIMINAL Chris has a long history of crime.He has recently come into our project from the prison gate.He shares his thoughts with us. |
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| I ’m
twenty-eight years old and I ’m currently on the rehabilitation programme
with T.H.O.M.A.S.. I was released from custody two and a half weeks ago.I was in prison because I was shoplifting to feed my smack habit.I came to T.H.O.M.A.S.,straight from prison on the day I was released. My drug problem started when I was fifteen years old,I was doing things like magic mushrooms.Then I progressed onto cannabis,LSD,amphetamines, tamazipan, valium, aerosols and cans of gas. I started taking drugs because my parents were always shouting at me.I would take drugs as a form of escape.I had good parents really but I did not understand why they were having a go at me.They used to think shouting at me would keep me on the straight and narrow but it didn ’t. I went to Darwen Vale High School in 1983.For my first two years there I did OK.Then I started mating around with people who were older than me on the estates.I began robbing off my parents and my aunts and uncles.My parents couldn ’t handle it so when I was fourteen they put me into care.I went to a care centre in Blackburn.It wasn ’t a kids home,it was more like one big youth club. There was plenty of drinking,smoking and women. When my parents found out about it all they took me back home. When I first went to the care centre they asked me if I needed new trainers and clothes etc.They were really kind but I took advantage of them.I don ’t think the staff there were qualified care workers so we could get away with all sorts.It made me worse if anything.When I was there people were telling me about crime and how to avoid being arrested. After that I got sent to another place in Blackburn that teaches you how to live on your own.I got a job in McDonalds but I didn ’t last long there. I have always been disruptive,even at primary school.It has carried on for most of my life.When I was at primary school I went to a few different schools.I went to one in Blackburn,two in Preston and then one in Darwen.I was the joker in the class.I just wanted a laugh all the time because I wasn ’t really brainy,I couldn ’t read and write properly.When I got angry I would throw my energy into making people laugh.I wanted to make people laugh because I wanted friends.I thought I wasn ’t getting loved at home so when I went to school I was a nuisance. I have forty-one previous convictions starting off with burglary back in 1987.For the past thirteen years I have been in and out of prison.At first it wasn ’t for drugs it was for money.I don ’t like going to prison and I am sick of breaking the law. Looking back at the past thirteen years I ’ve been in prison more than I have been out.The reasons for this is that I have nowhere to live,I had a drug problem,I needed the money,I couldn ’t stop doing crime – I was a kleptomaniac and to escape from everyday life. In the past when I have been released from prison I get £50 before I leave.I get my train to Blackburn and I buy some smack,which is heroin.Then I have some alcohol.After that I think I am the hardest man in the world.By the time day two comes along I am out shoplifting or burgling houses or stealing cars.On day three I have no money,nowhere to live,a drug habit building up and I don ’t know what to do.I end up doing more drugs and crime.This has gone on for the past thirteen years and I ’m sick of it. In a strange way,prison when I first started thirteen years ago I used to thrive off it.I thought I had loads and loads of friends.It was like a competition -–who could do the best crime,get the longest prison sentence etc.I have been to most of the Young Offenders Institutions in the country and I loved it.When I went to court and they would offer me probation I would tell them to shove it.After I turned twenty-one I started to get sick of it.When I got into heroin I was glad when I got sent down because I could deal with my habit there.I needed a prison sentence to get me off it.I never got offered any rehabilitation programmes because when I was young I knocked everything back.When I was in prison this time I decided to get help. Prison life is ‘dog eat dog ’.It ’s about who can get what,when and how.When you first go into prison you ’ve got nothing.They let you have a loan of £2.50.So I would get someone else ’s £2.50 and get a £4 bag of smack.When you are withdrawing that ’s all you want – smack,smack,smack.Drugs are easy to get in prison if your face fits.There are a lot of informants in prison and the people who get the drugs in have to watch who they tell.I thrive off it sometimes,I like being locked up. I had what I thought were friends in prison but most of them just want what they can get out of you –i.e.stamps,tobacco,bits of food,and writing paper etc.When I was younger,because I am only five foot six,people in prison would try and bully me,to get what they could.I wouldn ’t let them,so in the morning when people were coming out of their cells I would wait until a particular person ’s back was turned and hit them over the head with a big battery in a sock,metal tray,whatever really.I have spent numerous days in segregation. Segregation means that you are put away from other prisoners because you have done something wrong.I used to love it because it meant that I could get away from all the shouting,people asking you for smokes etc.It ’s basically survival of the fittest in prison.I have had my moments where I have been jumped in the showers but no-one has ever taken anything off me physically. I am now here with T.H.O.M.A.S.to get off the drugs,to try and save some money,to get some education mainly to re-programme myself. |
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