Bernard Rawstron is in our drug rehabilitation programme.

The way I’ve been brought up has not been the right way. I have six brothers who were all committing crime and I just stepped into that. It’s escalated and escalated. I was doing burglaries when I was fourteen. It’s a bit silly but you don’t think about it at the time when you’re doing the things that you do.

When I was fourteen I started getting into major drugs such as cannabis, amphetamines, tamazipan and vallium. It was really whatever I could get my hands on. You just carry on until you’re on heroin. I was against drugs but you don’t think about the consequences of it all until you’re down.

I got into heroin when a mate came to my flat and asked if he could use the toilet. When he came back into the front room he looked different. I asked him what it was like and he said that it’s just like cannabis but stronger. I had a sample and it went on from there. A few days later and I started to feel a bit weird. I asked him what the matter was and he said that I just needed a bit more. I had some more. I started to do stupid things to get the money to make me feel normal.

Heroin is very addictive. It’s the same as cocaine. You’re not helping yourself by taking it. In fact you’re making it worse and worse. I’ve started to realise what I’m doing to myself but I’ve still dabbled and dabbled.

When I came out of prison I had a dabble. Then I thought that’s it, no more. But I did some crime, got some money and I went back on the heroin again.

I’ve come to T.H.O.M.A.S. now to try and sort my life out for the first time. I’m proud of myself for just coming down here. I think this project is fantastic. Some people feel ashamed of themselves when they look at what they’ve done and what they haven’t, but they’re not looking at it from the proper angle.

In the future I hope to have a good life. Looking out and thinking, ‘where’s my next drug coming from’, is no life. Life is more important than drugs. We are not on this earth to torture ourselves and make our lives a misery. We’re here to make the best of it. You won’t find happiness on drugs. You’ve got to come off it and stay off it, then you’ll get respect from people. It takes time. You’ve got to do it for yourself and no-one else.