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| Elaine Kennedy is the former T.H.O.M.A.S. Drop-in-Centre
Manager; she is now part of the editorial team of Edges and is a member of the
Drug Rehabilitation Team. For eight years I ran our drop-in centre here at St. Anne’s House and over those years I met hundreds of people from all over the country, most of whom suffered from some form of addiction. I soon became aware that although alcoholism and drug abuse were two addictions most prevalent amongst our clients, there was a huge difference between the two. A great deal is talked about the drug culture, its destructive nature, its criminal side, violence, young deaths etc. Very little, comparatively, is said about alcoholism. Yet some of the most heart-breaking stories I have come across were alcohol rather than drug-related. In the early days of our drop-in, the majority of our clients were Blackburn people, and practically all were alcohol addicts – many were middle-aged and knew each other very well. If not homeless then some were living in hostels. They had families in the area who, for the most part, were supportive and loving, but could not cope with living with them. There was a huge and very moving amount of love between these clients, even though occasionally they would beat the living daylights out of each other! At first, I knew little about alcohol problems, I used to dread the arrival of certain people because if they were drunk then we were in for fun and games! Very soon, though, I began to know each one as an individual – they began to open up to me and confide all sorts of personal stories. There was a particular lady who was very large and when drunk, was incredibly abusive and terrifying! We soon learned to allow the abuse to waft over our heads like a cloud, all the while feeding her cups of tea until she sobered up. After sobering up, she seemed like a different person, much calmer and always so apologetic for her insults – the humour could be extraordinary! One day, she needed to talk to me – the story of her life unfolded slowly before me and left me so shocked that I could think of nothing else for days. It was horrific beyond imagination - no-one should ever have to live like that. The fact that I knew about her problems created a bond between us. One day she became ill and went to hospital – I went to see her and could not believe what I saw. She was alcohol free and instead of the usual abusive, violent person, I found this gentle, caring, sweet person. This experience happened to me with several people. I began to wonder if perhaps some people are born too gentle – maybe they lack the natural aggression most of us have in balanced quantities, in order to cope with life. Maybe alcohol is how this gap is filled for some people. Many drug addicts will tell you that the drugs compensated for some lack of self esteem - yet self-esteem can be nurtured and many recovering addicts stay off drugs and do very well. To recover from alcohol and stay off it is so much harder. Our culture makes it so difficult too; alcohol is everywhere – in shops, in adverts, in food, it is bragged about in the youth culture, it is seen as a means of proving your young adulthood. Yet it is so utterly utterly destructive – it destroys entire families, it creates heartbreak beyond measure and it is extremely difficult to overcome its devastating hold on people. Drug addicts can be violent amongst themselves or in the quest for money; alcoholics can be violent just because their brain chemistry is altered – family homes can be smashed up for no reason, loved ones beaten up, children taken into permanent care etc. Then in the cold light of day there is so much guilt and remorse – then it starts all over again. Such unhappiness and devastation caught in an ever-moving downward spiral. I’ve never witnessed unprovoked violence in a drug addict. To get to know so many people I have grown to love very much, struggling, sometimes sleeping rough, going through hellish patches in their lives, has been a hugely moving experience in my life – yet most of these friends already had years and years of this way of life behind them by the time I met them. Several times, however, I have witnessed the onset of the downward spiral and that has been utterly shattering. There came to the door, very late one evening a very shy, middle-aged man, very neat, smart suit, shirt and tie – he had just been thrown out of the family home where enough had been enough. He slept outside the back of our drop-in and when I left to go home, he was shivering violently and sobbing his heart out. He was so unstreet-wise and hugely vulnerable and alone- completely alone I wondered how long it would take him to adapt to surviving his hardships and whether he would seek the help we were advising him to take. I still wonder to-day what became of him. Unlike most of our clients, he never came back. Anyway, with God’s help we all keep going! |
