EDGES MAGAZINE Issue 40

December 2004


I was also aware that while there were plenty of groups for women there was a total lack of support groups for men. At the same time a national report to the Royal College of Psychiatrists highlighted the fact that British men were the most depressed in Europe, with many hiding their problems in drink, drugs and workaholism. My experience of working with dads in Blackburn certainly confirmed this.

I found many men lacked confidence, especially in their role as fathers. They dreaded the coming of the school summer holidays. How would they cope? Their dread was that the holidays would be hellish. One man had recently taken his 4 young children to Blackpool on his own. Although he had spent a lot of money he hadn’t been able to satisfy all their desires. The children had argued, he had become stressed and felt very frustrated. I felt it was important to show them that holidays need not be like this. Before the end of term I took a group to Witton Park and Sunnyhurst Woods (the men hardly realised these parks existed). They were happy to go and plan further picnics in these parks. They could take ‘butties’ and ‘pop’ with them which wouldn’t involve them in any extra expense as they would have had to eat at home otherwise. Their children enjoyed playing safely, dads relaxed, tension was eased and the families wanted to repeat these activities in other parks. By the end of the summer holidays the dads admitted they had had fun times with their children.

After the summer holidays it was decided to meet each Friday morning at the Community Centre. The first Friday of each month was special; we had a proper cooked breakfast! Each man would bring a contribu-tion and we would have sausages, bacon, black pudding, mushrooms, tomatoes, beans and bread. Gradually more fathers joined in; activities at the centre included pool, scrabble and dominoes. Dads who were musical brought their instruments – we had our own organist nicknamed Regie! Ten years on the group not only meet on Fridays, but also on Mondays.

It was very important to encourage the development of hidden talents among the men, such as poetry, photography, painting, craftmaking, gardening, music, baking, sports and even making an aquarium.

In 1998 I lobbied Jack Straw our local MP who was Home Secretary and he became very interested in the group, believing it had a valuable role to play. He made a national speech stating that father’s groups should be set up across the country and it became Government Policy that father’s have a crucial role. In areas in receipt of Sure Start Funding this has led to staff being appointed to implement support for fathers.

Later this month a regional conference for the North West will take place for over 100 people involved in work with fathers. A booklet has been printed this year for fathers in Prison which has been well received.

The last verse of the Old Testament talks of ‘the fathers’ hearts being turned to their children and the children’s hearts being turned to their fathers’.

I have been privileged to know families where this has happened.
   
Richard Edmonds
 

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