‘Twas the morning of Christmas, no sound in the street;
no cars off to work, no scurrying feet
to the Station or coach stop; Strood North was at peace;
for one or two days their labours would cease. 

But warm in their beds, with their cars in their drives,
the councillors of Medway were not satisfied.
“We have a Plan to stick to – an Agenda have we!
And it must be in place by the year 2030. 

“So what shall we do?  For the plebs must obey
our great knowledge and wisdom...  Well, we'll make them pay
for their parking - to start with; we all know there’s more,
but best not to tell them, it might make them sore 

“if they knew a return to the agrarian scheme
of serfdom and servitude’s the Collectivist dream,
where all cars will be banned and all movements curtailed;
we'll ensure they're all tracked and we'll keep them surveilled.

"Permit Parking for them and their visitors too,
so we'll know where they are and we'll know what they do.
We're Progressives, you see, we must be in control
of the simple, regressive, and ignorant prole.

“We’ll paint their roads yellow and forbid them to park.
We’ll pretend all the while that this ‘Serving You’ lark
is real, but the ‘benefits’ won’t actually be theirs’;
it’s US we care about – tell them that we don’t dare! 

“The uprising of populist rebellion that’s started,
would grow to a flood and off we’d be carted
to a Farm, that is far from what Snowball had sought,
with our Leaders; our Purpose in Common all thwart. 

“But remember we must never change our direction,
nor waver one bit from our noble intention
to Transform Our World; to Sustain Our Development;
we’re Change Agents tasked; we’ve a mission been sent.

“So speak to them, tell them we’ll answer their questions
when they come to the Hub with their piteous suggestions.
Tell them, 'Write to the Council'; intone and repeat
their great opportunity.  But we’ll never unseat 

“our ideas with theirs – we mustn’t be influenced,
but don’t let them know that; keep your answers all nuanced.
They won’t realise; we’re the Elites and not they;
they’ll do as they’re told – they’re learning the way 

the New World is Ordered, the Old Ways are gone…” 

“Oh really?  You think so?  You think we are done?
The People of England are rising to speak!
You can smile at us, pass us, but now you are weak. 

“Do not forget last year, look forward to this,
as we gain back our freedoms you Elites have dismissed.
To live our lives freely as given by God
without interference from your nay or your nod.

“Britain’s People have always reached out to our neighbours
in need, and shared willingly the fruits of our labours.
Over-taxing and Redistribution aren’t caring;
compassion and freedom drive charity and sharing. 

“So Change Agents, away with your Collectivist Plans!
Your Agendas and Purpose are not for this land!
We’ll not be Reoriented; we’re not Human Resources;
we are freemen and women; not Boxers, not horses. 

“No more Redistribution of milk or of honey
from everyone else’s hard grinded-for money.
Tear up Project Europe, in the bin your Earth Charters;
The People have risen: begone Elite Masters!” 

So we voted them into the Dustbin of History,
where they languished in their failed Utopian City.
And exclaimed one and all, ere we waved them away,
HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-DAY!

“The most important thing is for officers and Members to stick to the plan and not change direction or waver from our intention.  There will always be some degree of opposition to CPZs and this may influence decisions to promote some schemes” [Medway Council, Regeneration, Culture and Environment Overview and Scrutiny Committee, Briefing Note – No. 08/16, 12 September 2016].
 

A Consideration Of, Questions Concerning, and Objections To:
Medway Council's Proposed Controlled Parking Zones for Strood North, December 2016

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Clement Clarke Moore: ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas
George Orwell: Animal Farm
GK Chesterton: The Secret People
See also - Rudyard Kipling: Norman and Saxon