The characters, plotlines, quotes, etc. included here are owned by Chris Carter and 1013 Productions, all rights reserved. The following transcript is in no way a substitute for the show "The X-Files" and is merely meant as a homage. This transcript is not authorized or endorsed by Chris Carter, 1013 Productions, or Fox Entertainment. It was painstakingly typed out by CarriKendl and made available for your personal enjoyment by me, DrWeesh from my website, The X-Files Scripts Archive




SCENE 1
HIGHWAY 375
RURAL NEVADA
11:17 PM

(Night. MULDER and SCULLY driving along a desert road. There are no other cars in sight. They pass a metal sign: "WARNING US MILITARY INSTALLATION DO NOT ENTER RESTRICTED AREA USE OF DEADLY POISON IN "

MULDER: (pointing at a sign) Milepost 134. Two miles to go.

SCULLY: (dryly) I'm all a-tingle. (they share a look) So, Mulder, this supposed clandestine source who's contacted you how do we know that he's not just another crackpot whose encyclopedic knowledge of extraterrestrial life isn't derived exclusively from reruns of Star Trek?

MULDER: Because of where this particular crackpot works. Groom Lake. Area 51. Where the military has conducted...

SCULLY: for the past 50 years, classified experiments involving extraterrestrial technology.

MULDER: It's all our questions. The proof that we've suspected but never been able to hold in our hands. That... that proof is here.

SCULLY: Mulder, it's the dim hope of finding that proof that's kept us in this car, or one very much like it for more nights than I care to remember. (MULDER looks at her fondly) Driving hundreds if not thousands of miles through neighborhoods and cities and towns where people are raising families and buying homes and playing with their kids and their dogs, and... in short, living their lives. While we - we - we just keep driving.

MULDER: What is your point?

SCULLY: Don't you ever just want to stop? Get out of the damn car? Settle down and live something approaching a normal life?

MULDER: (defensive) This *is* a normal life.

( SCULLY smiles to herself. They hear tires squealing and see two pairs of headlights approaching very quickly from the rear. )

SCULLY: Mulder.

MULDER: I don't know if we're going to meet that crackpot after all.

(They stop as a total of four official-looking white sport utility vehicles surround them. Several armed SOLDIERS get out.)

SOLDIER 1: Out of the car.

(One of the SOLDIERS cocks his rifle.)

SOLDIER 1: Out of the car, sir. Ma'am.

(MULDER and SCULLY get out of the car with their hands raised and stand in front of their car. From one of the vehicles a man wearing a dark suit and white shirt emerges. He is MORRIS FLETCHER - early 40's, slight paunch. He is smoking a cigarette. As he approaches MUDLER and SCULLY, he drops his cigarette on the pavement and grinds it out with his foot.)

MORRIS FLETCHER: May I see some identification please?

(MULDER and SCULLY reach into their pockets and pull out their badges.)

MORRIS FLETCHER: (reading their badges, sighs) FBI. You're going to have to turn around and leave immediately.

MULDER: Why? It's a public highway.

MORRIS FLETCHER: It also borders on a US Government testing ground. What's your business here? (no response) What are you doing out here in the middle of the night?

MULDER: What are you doing out here?

SCULLY: Hiding top secret test flights? (MULDER looks at her) Using technology from UFOs?

MORRIS FLETCHER: (sarcastically) Flying saucers. I got a top secret for you. (to MULDER's ear) There's no such thing as flying saucers.

SCULLY: Come on, Mulder, let's...

(SCULLY pauses as they all hear a rumbling sound. They see a bright light on the horizon that quickly gets closer and passes overhead. As it does, MULDER steps away from SCULLY and looks up in wonder at the bright light. The light passes over and disappears. MULDER looks back down over at . MORRIS, now wearing MULDER's clothes, standing with SCULLY. No one gives any indication that they are aware that something just flew over them or that anything happened.)

SCULLY: (to MORRIS) Come on, Mulder, let's go.

(As MULDER, now wearing MORRIS's clothes standing in MORRIS's place stares in shock, SCULLY gets back into the passenger seat and MORRIS gets into the drivers seat.)




[OPENING CREDITS] [OPENING CREDITS] [OPENING CREDITS] [OPENING CREDITS] [OPENING CREDITS]




SCENE 2

MULDER (as MORRIS) is David Duchovny playing Mulder. We see him as he really is - Mulder, but everyone else sees Morris. MORRIS (as MULDER) is Michael McKean playing Morris but is perceived as Mulder.

(Same scene. MULDER watches as MORRIS backs up the car and turns around. As it begins to pull away, MULDER runs a few steps after it.)

MULDER (as MORRIS): Hey! Hey! Hey!

(The SOLDIER beside him raises his rifle and aims it at the retreating car.)

SOLDIER1: Sir, open fire?

MULDER (as MORRIS): No! No. Let them go. Let them go.

SOLDIER 1: Sir?

(MULDER stares at him, unsure of what to do.)

SOLDIER 1: Your orders, sir?

(Pause.)

MULDER (as MORRIS): (false confidence) I want to get out of here.

(Another SOLDIER holds the passenger door of MORRIS's car for him. MULDER gets in. Two other Men in Black, HOWARD GRODIN and JEFF SMOODGE are sitting in the back seat.)

HOWARD: Morris. (no response) Morris? (MULDER, realizing they are speaking to him, turns in his seat) What do you think you're doing?

(MULDER looks at the other guy. No response.)

HOWARD: Why'd you let them go?

MULDER (as MORRIS): They didn't know anything.

HOWARD: They were FBI agents obviously here to meet someone, very possibly an informant. You just sent away our best hope of finding out who.

JEFF: We can't just disappear a couple of FBI agents, Howard. We'll get their own people to deal with them. That's what Morris was thinking. Right, Morry? Let's go.

(Later, the MIB's car pulls through an electric gate and enters a large compound with several helicopter looking things flying overhead. Sign says US AIR FORCE AREA 51.)

(MULDER, JEFF and HOWARD enter the compound. They pass a security desk.)

GUARD: Sir.

MULDER (as MORRIS): Yeah?

GUARD: Your identification, sir.

(MULDER looks at JEFF and HOWARD. They both have photo ID cards pinned to their lapels.

GUARD: You do have identification?

MULDER (as MORRIS): (another false smile) Yeah

(MULDER feels around in his pockets and finds MORRIS's ID. It has the word MAJESTIC on it. The picture is of MORRIS. MULDER holds it up next to his face hesitantly and looks to the GUARD. The guard looks carefully at the photo and at MULDER. MULDER reaches up to touch his own face. He is wearing a wedding ring. He looks at his image in the GUARD's monitor and sees the image of MORRIS touching his face. MULDER follows JEFF and HOWARD into a hall. They pass by an open office door where an older man, GENERAL WEGMAN is talking on the phone.)

JEFF: (quietly to MULDER and HOWARD) What's Wegman doing here? Kind of late for the old man to be clocking in.

HOWARD: Something must be up. I'm going to check it out. (he leaves)

JEFF: (grinning at MULDER) Kiss-ass.

(JEFF uses his ID card to key open an office door. Further down the hall, MULDER sees a pair of SOLDIERS approaching. He sees the name MORRIS FLETCHER on a plaque over one of the office doors. He swipes his ID card in the lock and the door opens. After closing the door and exhaling with relief, he looks at the wall of pictures. There are photos of MORRIS with Newt Gingrich, the Reagans, and Saddam Hussein.)

MULDER (as MORRIS): (whisper) Scully.

(He goes straight to the phone.)




SCENE 3

(CUT TO: Same time. MORRIS (as MULDER) and SCULLY pull up to a gas station. They sit for a moment. SCULLY looks expectantly at MORRIS.)

SCULLY: Are you all right, Mulder?

MORRIS (as MULDER): What are you talking about?

SCULLY: Well, you haven't said anything since we left those men on the highway. Is something wrong?

MORRIS (as MULDER): I'm fine. Gas cap's on your side.

(SCULLY is surprised at his attitude. Apparently this is not usual procedure, but she gets out of the car.)

SCULLY: Okay... If you don't want to talk about it.

(SCULLY gets the pump and begins putting gas in the car. A cell phone begins ringing inside the car. SCULLY calls through the closed window.)

SCULLY: Mulder? Mulder...

(MORRIS ignores her, playing with the radio. SCULLY closes her eyes briefly in frustration.)




SCENE 4

(CUT TO: MORRIS's office. MULDER is waiting for SCULLY to answer.)

MULDER (as MORRIS): Come on, Scully, pick up.

(The office door opens suddenly. )

JEFF: Bastard!

MULDER (as MORRIS): (hanging up quickly) Huh?




SCENE 5

(CUT TO: Gas station. SCULLY has opened the car door and answered the phone. MORRIS has the radio turned way up.)

SCULLY: Hello?

( She tries to hear over the radio, then reaches out and turns it down herself.)

SCULLY: Hello?!

(She hangs up in disgust and gets back out of the car.)

MORRIS (as MULDER): Oh, Dana? Want to pick me up a pack of Morleys, please?

SCULLY: Since when do you smoke?

MORRIS (as MULDER): Well... you're not going to be a Nazi about it, are you?

(SCULLY has no answer. She closes the door and goes back to the gas pump.)




SCENE 6

(CUT TO: MORRIS's office.)

JEFF: I ran a reverse trace on all the outgoing calls. We've definitely got a leak.

(MULDER almost tips the desk chair over trying to lean back. Catches himself.)

JEFF: He called the FBI this morning from Wegman's office.

MULDER (as MORRIS): Wegman?

JEFF: The leak! He used the guest phone in Wegman's office. He's rubbing our noses in it.

MULDER (as MORRIS): Hmm. In what?

JEFF: In the fact that he works in this building. That he has access to everything-- all our work-- and we don't know who he is.

(The phone on the desk begins ringing.)

JEFF: Morris?

MULDER (as MORRIS): Yeah?

JEFF: You going to answer that?

MULDER (as MORRIS): (shakes his head, then laughs uncomfortably and nods) Oh. Yeah. (picks up the receiver) Hello?

(MRS. FLETCHER is in a suburban middle class house. She is 40ish, wearing a bathrobe. She is not happy.)

MRS. FLETCHER: (on phone) What are you doing there?!

(MULDER sees picture of MORRIS with a woman and two kids, a teenage girl and a younger boy.)

MULDER (as MORRIS): (on phone) I'm just trying to work that out.

MRS. FLETCHER: (on phone) It's midnight. I've been waiting up.

MULDER (as MORRIS): (on phone) I didn't know.

MRS. FLETCHER: (on phone) What do you mean, you didn't know? You said you'd call. Morris...

MULDER (as MORRIS): (on phone) I forgot.

MRS. FLETCHER: (on phone) You always forget. Well, this time, don't forget the milk.

(She hangs up. MULDER looks at the phone for a second then hangs up also.)

JEFF: The wife?

(MULDER nods. JEFF imitates cracking a whip at MULDER.)

JEFF: Come on, man. Let's go home.

(JEFF opens the door and goes out. MULDER holds back a moment with an expression of sheer dread.)

(Short time later. JEFF and MULDER pull up in front of a typical suburban home. MULDER doesn't move. JEFF pats him on the shoulder.)

JEFF: Come on, Morry.

MULDER (as MORRIS): (not happy to be here) There it is, huh? Home sweet home.

(JEFF chuckles.)

MULDER (as MORRIS): (getting out of the car) All right.

JEFF: Good night.

MULDER (as MORRIS): Ciao.




SCENE 7

(On his way up the walk, MULDER notices the large white electric? fence around the development. He enters the house quietly. No one is downstairs. He picks up the phone next to the stairs. The operator answers.)

OPERATOR: Base operator.

MULDER (as MORRIS): (on phone) (was expecting a dial tone) Oh, uh... I, uh...

OPERATOR: Would you like an outside line, Mr. Fletcher?

MULDER (as MORRIS): (on phone) No. Thank you. Good night.

(MULDER slowly slowly opens a bedroom door. He sees MRS. FLETCHER asleep in the bed holding a pillow. He slowly slowly closes the door and goes back down stairs. He sits in a recliner in front to the TV and begins looking for a channel.)

STATION 1: (Pee Wee's Playhouse type of show) Look, kids, it's Larry, the creepy...

STATION 2: (nature show)...September, along the....

STATION 3: (gunfire)

STATION 4: WOMAN: Want to play? MAN: I think we already are.

(On the screen a man and woman begin to undress each other. Moaning )

(MULDER raises his eyebrows, looks around, then shrugs and pushes the chair into a reclining position. He gets comfortable with a small smile and watches the TV.)




SCENE 8
2:04 AM

(Same night. Desert. A sport utility bounces over the terrain as it pulls up to a crash scene. Lots of military around, men in haz-mat suits putting out the fires. GENERAL WEGMAN gets out of the SUV and is met by one of the Men in Black, HOWARD.)

HOWARD: It was a routine test flight, sir. The craft suddenly lost altitude at 2317 hours over highway 375.

GENERAL WEGMAN: What happened?

HOWARD: We haven't yet determined that, sir. We have recovered the flight data recorder as well as the two pilots.

GENERAL WEGMAN: Alive?

HOWARD: (pause) We found the copilot over here.

(He leads GENERAL WEGMAN over to a large boulder in which the COPILOT is almost completely entombed. Only his head and shoulders are sticking out. He is barely alive and seems to be in great pain.)

GENERAL WEGMAN: My God.

HOWARD: The other man's alive, but, uh...

GENERAL WEGMAN: But what?

HOWARD: We're not sure yet.

(They cross over to one of the tents and find the PILOT sitting huddled on the ground.)

GENERAL WEGMAN: What happened, Captain?

(The PILOT looks up helplessly at GENERAL WEGMAN and begins trying to communicate in a foreign language.)




SCENE 9
FBI HEADQUARTERS
WASHINGTON, DC
9:42 AM

(Next day. SCULLY is sitting on couch outside AD KERSH's office. KERSH's ASSISTANT, a young attractive blond woman sits at the reception desk. SCULLY keeps looking around impatiently and at her watch.)

SCULLY: (to KERSH's ASSISTANT) I'm sure he's on his way.

(KERSH's ASSISTANT gives her an unfriendly smile. SCULLY sees MORRIS pass by in the hall. She jumps up and calls to him.)

SCULLY: Mulder!

MORRIS (as MULDER): (entering the office) Hey... Hey, Dana. How's it going?

SCULLY: Mulder... Where have you been?

MORRIS (as MULDER): Oh, sorry, I just got a little lost on my way in.

SCULLY: You got lost.

MORRIS (as MULDER): I'm just a little, you know, little lost in my head.

SCULLY: Yeah.

MORRIS (as MULDER): Yeah. One of those days. Yeah. (to KERSH's ASSISTANT) Hi, there. How are you this morning?

KERSH'S ASSISTANT: The Assistant Director is waiting, sir.

MORRIS (as MULDER): Great. Let's do it.

(SCULLY takes a moment, then follows MORRIS into AD KERSH's office.)

AD KERSH: My two frequent flyers. I'm to understand you were in Nevada yesterday and after-- what's it been?-- Two, three conversations such as this on the matter.

SCULLY: Well, sir...

AD KERSH: This morning I got a phone call from the Pentagon demanding that the two of you be reprimanded for trespassing on a top-secret military installation. What do you think you were doing there?

SCULLY: We were following a lead, sir.

AD KERSH: And that's part of your current caseload? A legitimate investigation?

MORRIS (as MULDER): Agent Scully and I were contacted by a confidential source.

AD KERSH: What source?

MULDER: Oh, if I had the name, I'd give it to you. (SCULLY looks at him sharply) Some whistle-blower working inside the so-called Area 51. Said he had some "big deal" information. I got to tell you... The whole thing turned out to be just one gigantic mistake on our part.

(SCULLY is extremely uncomfortable.)

AD KERSH: Agent Mulder, you were specifically ordered not to pursue any line of investigation pertaining to the X-Files.

MULDER: Sir, you're absolutely right. And on behalf of Agent Scully and myself, I'd like to apologize for our blatant disregard of your direct order. You have our word. We will never ever do that again.

(SCULLY is speechless. They leave the office. SCULLY stops MORRIS just as they enter the hall.)

SCULLY: Mulder. Mulder!

MORRIS (as MULDER): (turns and smiles down at her) What?

SCULLY: What was that about?

MORRIS (as MULDER): What was what about?

SCULLY: "I'd give you his name if I had it"? Whatever happened to protecting our contacts? Protecting our work?

MORRIS (as MULDER): He asked. Hang on a second.

(MORRIS goes back over to KERSH's ASSISTANT and whispers in her ear. She giggles and nods. He pats her on the back, then crosses back to SCULLY.)

MORRIS (as MULDER): (smiling) Well... Okay, then.

(SCULLY gives the questioning "Look.")

MORRIS (as MULDER): (defensive) What?

SCULLY: What is going on with you?

MORRIS (as MULDER): Will you please stop trying to pick a fight with me?

SCULLY: Mulder, you are acting bizarre.

MORRIS (as MULDER): (glancing back to the ASSITANT's office) Jealous?

(MORRIS gives her a knowing smile and slaps her on the butt as he passes. SCULLY turns and stares at him in shock.)




SCENE 10

(FLETCHER house. MULDER is still asleep on the recliner, turning restlessly. TV is still on the porn channel. A light is turned on. A hand reaches out and taps him hard on the shoulder. MULDER opens his eyes and sees a woman in front of him, hands on her hips. Her face is in shadow.)

MULDER (as MORRIS): Scully?

MRS. FLETCHER: (furious) I can't believe you. (she turns off the TV) I just can't believe you! (steps on the bottom of the recliner popping MULDER up to a sitting position) And who is Scully?

MULDER (as MORRIS): (a question) Good morning.

MRS. FLETCHER: You could do me the courtesy of coming to bed. Pretend we have a happy marriage. What if Chris or Terry had come down here first? Seeing their father being a pervert! Did that ever occur to you?

(She walks away without waiting for an answer. MULDER gets up and begins looking around the living room. His clothing and hair is disheveled.)

MULDER (as MORRIS): Hey, uh... (doesn't know her name) Um... Honey? I ne... Have you... Have you seen my car keys? I thought I might have left them...

(A blonde teenage girl comes down the stairs.)

TEENAGER: Morning, Dad.

MULDER (as MORRIS): Morning... Terry.

TEENAGER: Oh, my God! (she bursts into tears and runs back upstairs)

JOANNE FLETCHER: (coming out from kitchen) Morris... What did you do to Chris?

(MULDER tries but has no answer. MRS. FLETCHER goes back to the kitchen.)

MULDER (as MORRIS): (under his breath) Where are my keys?

(A boy, about 10 comes down the stairs.)

BOY: Yo, dad.

MULDER (as MORRIS): Good morning, Terry.

BOY: Not Terry.

MULDER (as MORRIS): Chris.

BOY: (disgusted) Terrence. "Terry's" for wusses.

MULDER (as MORRIS): (under his breath) Oh, and Terrence isn't? Hey, uh, Terrence how about helping your old Dad find his car keys?

(In the kitchen MRS. FLETCHER is beating some eggs. TERRY sits at the table and pours cereal. Everyone ignores MULDER. MRS.FLETCHER opens the refrigerator, then glares accusingly at MULDER.)

MRS. FLETCHER: No milk.

(MULDER reaches for a set of keys on the table. MRS. FLETCHER gets them first.)

MRS. FLETCHER: I'm taking the minivan.

MULDER (as MORRIS): (almost pitiful) Don't I have my own car?

(CHRIS enters and sits at the table.)

MRS. FLETCHER: Chris, did you give your father back his car keys?

(Not looking at him, CHRIS holds out a set of keys to MULDER. Just as he is about to take them, she drops them to the ground. He stoops and picks them up.)

MULDER (as MORRIS): Okay, well, uh... Everybody have a, uh... a good day at your various, uh... (realizes no one is paying attention) All right.

(He turns to leave.)

CHRIS: Mom!

MRS. FLETCHER: Morris! What about Chris?

MULDER (as MORRIS): Chris?

CHRIS: You said you'd give me an answer today.

MRS. FLETCHER: Her nose. You said you'd give her an answer about her nose.

(Family waits in anticipation. This is obviously a very important decision.)

MULDER (as MORRIS): Um... I think...

(CHRIS gives him a little girl look.)

MULDER (as MORRIS): I think she's a little young for plastic surgery don't you think?

(CHRIS cries again.)

MRS. FLETCHER: Oh, for God's sake, Morris-- a nose ring! She said she wants a nose ring!

CHRIS: (to MULDER) I hate you! I wish you were dead.

MULDER (as MORRIS): Well, my work here is done. Have a nice day.

(He makes it to the front door. MRS. FLETCHER follows him. Fabulous melodramatic music underscores the scene.)

MRS. FLETCHER: You want a divorce, don't you? Just say the words-- "Joanne, I want a divorce."

MULDER (as MORRIS): Joanne? (happy to know her name now) Joanne, no.

JOANNE FLETCHER: I will not live this way, Morris. I will not let you walk in and out of this house like a total stranger. Maybe it's better if you just...

MULDER (as MORRIS): Sorry. I'm just not myself lately.

JOANNE FLETCHER: Morris... You are wearing your suit from yesterday.

(CUT TO: MULDER upstairs looking in a closet filled only with black suits and white shirts.) MULDER (as MORRIS): Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Johnny Cash.

(Country music rift. MULDER takes one of the suits out of the closet and carries it to the bed. He begins to undress then notices his reflection in the mirror, which is of MORRIS. Wearing just boxers, an undershirt, and socks, he walks up to the mirror. As he raises his hand, so does the MORRIS- reflection. They breathe fog on the window and wipe it off, wiggle their butts, walk away from the mirror, then turn to catch each other. They walk out of each others sight, then coming dancing across Chuck Berry-style. In the middle of the dance, JOANNE FLETCHER enters with the phone. MULDER freezes.)

JOANNE FLETCHER: Morris... What are you doing?

(MULDER breaks into a bad Tai Chi move for her benefit.)

JOANNE FLETCHER: (hands him the phone) It's for you. (she leaves)

MULDER (as MORRIS): Thanks. (into phone) Mul... Morris.

JEFF: (on phone) Morry, it's Jeff. Where the hell are you?

MULDER (as MORRIS): (on phone) Uh, I'm just running a little late.

JEFF: (on phone) Well, get your ass down here tout de suite. We got something big going down.

MULDER (as MORRIS): (on phone) Bigger than what?

JEFF: (on phone) Big as in I can't say anything more on the phone. Just get down here.




SCENE 11

(Inside the Area 51 compound. The PILOT from the crash scene the night before is sitting in an observation room speaking foreign language. GENERAL WEGMAN, HOWARD, and JEFF are watching.)

GENERAL WEGMAN: Do we know what he's saying?

HOWARD: It seems he's praying, sir. We've identified the language-- a Native American dialect. Hopi, to be exact. The pilot's name is Captain Robert McDonough. Born in Missoula, Montana. No known foreign language skills. Only since the crash he claims to be one Mrs. Lana Chee a 75-year-old Hopi Indian woman born and raised on the Moapa Reservation about 35 miles from here.

GENERAL WEGMAN: Is it some kind of shell shock?

HOWARD: We don't think so, sir. This is Mrs. Lana Chee.

(They enter another room where a very old, small Native American woman snaps a perfect salute.)

HOWARD: We picked her up on the reservation this morning.

GENERAL WEGMAN: (saluting self-consciously) At ease.

(HOPI INDIAN WOMAN puts hands behind back and opens legs in military "at ease" stance.)

GENERAL WEGMAN: (not sure how to deal with this) What's your name?

HOPI INDIAN WOMAN: (spoken with military precision) Captain Robert McDonough, sir. I apologize for my present condition and appearing out of uniform, sir.

GENERAL WEGMAN: Um... Do you know... What happened last night, Captain?

HOPI INDIAN WOMAN: Sir, we launched from base at 2300 hours and headed south. At approximately 2315 we lost power in the right rear quadrant.

GENERAL WEGMAN: Do you know what, uh... Do you know what caused the power loss?

HOPI INDIAN WOMAN: No warning lights came up on the panel. All systems checked out in preflight. She just wasn't in the mood to fly, sir.




SCENE 12

(FBI bullpen. MORRIS and SCULLY are sitting at their desks side by side. MORRIS is playing a golf game on his computer. SCULLY is working on hers, but glances worriedly over at MORRIS.)

MORRIS (as MULDER): Come on, baby, be the hole. (makes the shot) Ow!

SCULLY: Mulder!

MORRIS (as MULDER): (proudly to SCULLY) I got a birdie.

(The phone rings. SCULLY answers.)

SCULLY: (on phone) Scully.

(MULDER is calling from an outdoor payphone at a gas station.)

MULDER (as MORRIS): (on phone) Oh, thank goodness, Scully, it's me.

SCULLY: (on phone) I'm sorry, who is this?

MULDER (as MORRIS): (on phone) It's me, Mulder.

SCULLY: (on phone) Mulder.

MULDER (as MORRIS): (on phone) I'm sorry I couldn't call sooner. Look, something really weird happened last night when that UFO passed over us.

SCULLY: (on phone) UFO?

MULDER (as MORRIS): (on phone) You don't remember? You don't remember. Okay, the man that you're with, that's not me. His name is Morris Fletcher. He's an Area 51 employee.

SCULLY: (on phone) Morris Fletcher.

MULDER (as MORRIS): (on phone) That's right. Everybody here seems to think that I'm him, but I'm not. I'm me. I'm Mulder.

SCULLY: (whispering to MORRIS) Psst.

(MORRIS reaches over and picks up the other line.)

MULDER (as MORRIS): (on phone) As long as they think that I'm him I have access but I'm going to need your help. (hears the click as MORRIS picks up) What was that?

SCULLY: (on phone) Uh... What was what?

MULDER (as MORRIS): (on phone) This may not be a secure line.

SCULLY: (on phone) Mulder, uh... Where are you?

MULDER (as MORRIS): (on phone) Better not say. Look, just get out here as soon as you can.

SCULLY: (on phone) How can I get in touch with you?

MULDER (as MORRIS): (on phone) You won't. I'll get in touch with you.

(MULDER hangs up the payphone. In the office, so do SCULLY and MORRIS.)

MORRIS (as MULDER): Who do you suppose that was?

SCULLY: That wasn't your source? Well, I'll run a trace.

MORRIS (as MULDER): Uh... No, no. I think we should notify El Jefe ASAP. (getting up) We don't want our collective asses chewed out all over again.

SCULLY: Mulder? Are you sure that's the best thing to do?

MORRIS (as MULDER): Look, little lady, I think it's time you got your panties on straight. We're federal officers... We go by the book.

(He goes out of the room. Again, SCULLY stares after him in shock.)

(CUT TO: MULDER buying sunflower seeds in the gas station.)

RUDE ATTENDANT: That'll be $1.89. You get 11 cents change.

MULDER (as MORRIS): (opening the bag of seeds) Keep it.

RUDE ATTENDANT: (leaving coins on the counter) Wow. Maybe I'll just close early.

(MULDER gets in the car and drives away. The camera stays focused on the desert landscape. After a few beats, a cloud of dust and several tumble weeds blow across the screen. Back inside the gas station, we hear a rumbling sound and things begin to fall off the shelves. There is a shot of the dime and the penny shaking on the counter and of a very surprised RUDE ATTENDANT. Then all the windows of the station are shattered inward.)




SCENE 13

(Just after MULDER has left the gas station. MULDER stops as he sees several of the white sport utilities pass him going the other way. The last one stops. JEFF rolls down the window.)

JEFF: Turn around, big guy. We got trouble.

(MULDER turns his car around and follows them back the way he came. As he drives away we see two Indian Burial looking ceremonial crosslike things beside the road.)

(They reach the gas station which is now is a shambles. Gas from the pumps is all over the parking lot.)

SOLDIER 1: Keep back! We got a spill!

(MULDER runs into the gas station.)

SOLDIER 1: Sir!

HOWARD: Hey, Fletcher! What the hell's he doing?

(HOWARD and JEFF follow MULDER into the station.)

JEFF: Fletcher, what are you doing?

MULDER (as MORRIS): There was a man in here, the attendant.

(MULDER searches through the gas station. They find the RUDE ATTENDANT behind the counter. His lower body is completely imbedded in the floor. He is groaning in pain, barely conscious.)

JEFF: Holy mother of...

HOWARD: It's happened again.

MULDER (as MORRIS): What's happened again?

HOWARD: Let's get out of here.

MULDER (as MORRIS): We got to help this man.

HOWARD: We got to help ourselves. Whatever caused this could come back.

MULDER (as MORRIS): We can't just leave him here.

JEFF: Morris...

HOWARD: What the hell's the matter with you?

JEFF: Morris

HOWARD: I'm not asking you. I'm telling you. Let's go.

MULDER (as MORRIS): This man needs a doctor.

(One of the SOLDIERS shoots the RUDE ATTENDANT.)

HOWARD: Not anymore.

(They leave the station.)

HOWARD: (over his shoulder to SOLDIERS) Burn it.

SOLDIER 1: Clear perimeter, 200 feet! Let's go! All right, everybody, pull back!

(All but SOLDIER 1 run a safe distance from the building.)

JEFF: (holding MULDER's arm) Come on, Morry. That guy was dead long before we found him.

(SOLDIER 1 lights a flare and throws it onto the gasoline soaked pavement. The station explodes. MULDER sighs.)




SCENE 14

(MULDER's apartment building. SCULLY comes out of the elevator and goes toward MULDER's door. A few feet away, she hears giggling, then sees KERSH's ASSISTANT, jacket off, hair messed up come out of the apartment, then lean back in for a kiss. The door closes and she passes SCULLY in the hall tossing her jacket over her shoulder on her way to the elevator.)

KERSH'S ASSISTANT: (cattily, wiping at her lipstick) Agent Scully.

(SCULLY stand frozen for a moment, then steps forward and knocks firmly at MULDER's door.)

MORRIS (as MULDER): (inside the apartment) Just can't get enough, huh?

SCULLY: (calm, but angry) It's me.

(MORRIS, smoking, opens the door. His shirt is half on, tie hanging loosely around his neck. He is completely unfazed by her anger.)

MORRIS (as MULDER): Oh, hey, Dana.

SCULLY: What do you think you're doing?

MORRIS (as MULDER): Oh, you know, just a little lunch break. What's up?

SCULLY: (trying to be professional) We got the trace back on the call we received this morning. It came from a gas station pay phone off of highway 375 three miles east of Groom Lake.

MORRIS (as MULDER): And?

SCULLY: And I'm thinking it was your source although I don't know why he'd try and impersonate you.

MORRIS (as MULDER): Maybe so.

SCULLY: You don't think that we should follow up on this?

MORRIS (as MULDER): Are you out of your pretty little mind?

SCULLY: (so mad she can barely speak) Am I out of my mind? Mulder, you are out of your mind! What is up with you?! I'm thinking about having you examined for mental illness or-or drug use or... Or maybe a massive head injury! This is an X-File your life's work, your crusade!

MORRIS (as MULDER): As I understand it, we're off the X-Files.

(SCULLY, no longer able to speak, slams the door as she leaves.)

(MORRIS, now alone looks in the mirror to fix his tie. The reflection is of MULDER.)

MORRIS (as MULDER): (pouting) Bitch.




SCENE 15

(Area 51 lab. GENERAL WEGMAN, HOWARD, JEFF, and MULDER are looking at a small lizard whose head is embedded in a small rock. The body twists weakly.)

HOWARD: This was brought to a local vet. Some kid found this in the desert ten miles east of the gas station.

GENERAL WEGMAN: Show me on the map.

(They cross to a transparent wall map.)

HOWARD: (pointing) Right here.

GENERAL WEGMAN: This is where you found the gas station attendant?

HOWARD: Yes, sir. We located the pilot at the crash site here and the Indian woman right there.

GENERAL WEGMAN: (pointing to another dot) What's this?

HOWARD: That, we believe, is ground zero. Once we analyze the flight data recorder we hope to confirm it's where the warp began.

(HOWARD holds up the recovered flight data recorder.)

MULDER (as MORRIS): "Warp?"

JEFF: (to MULDER) Beam me up, Scotty.

HOWARD: That's a tear in the space-time continuum an anomaly created by the malfunction of the aircraft which was operating in gravity pulse mode before it went down.

GENERAL WEGMAN: We've been flying these things since '53. I never heard of anything like this.

MULDER (as MORRIS): According to quantum physics, it's possible.

HOWARD: Anti-gravity systems utilize bends in space and time for propulsion. A sudden shift in a craft's trajectory could create the kind of distortion we're witnessing right here.

JEFF: If this is where your so-called warp began we would have all seen it and the three of us were out on highway 375 at the time, sir intercepting two FBI agents.

HOWARD: (disbelieving) A lizard and a rock existing in the same time and space. The fact that none of us remembers seeing it is evidence that my theory is correct, sir.

JEFF: And how's that?

MULDER (as MORRIS): Lost time.

HOWARD: (nodding) Lost time is a common symptom of close proximity to anti-gravity propulsion systems.

JEFF: Then how come my head isn't in a rock, or Morris'?

HOWARD: That's one question I haven't been able to answer. It is possible we suffered consequences from our exposure that we're not fully aware of.

MULDER (as MORRIS): What do we do about it?

(They look at MULDER strangely.)

HOWARD: That's your department-- keep it out of the paper, make sure the witnesses disappear.

MULDER (as MORRIS): Well, yeah, but I mean, how do we reverse it? How do we get the lizard out of the rock?

HOWARD: Who says we can?




SCENE 16
HIGHWAY 375
10:12 PM

(SCULLY driving alone, looking at a map. She passes the burned gas station, then turns around and goes to investigate the parking lot. She finds a penny that has been fused inside a dime. She picks it up and looks at it.)




SCENE 17

(FLETCHER household. Next morning. MULDER is again asleep on the recliner. JOANNE FLETCHER steps on the bottom to pop him up again.)

JOANNE FLETCHER: This is not a marriage. It's a farce.

MULDER (as MORRIS): What?

JOANNE FLETCHER: You're not attracted to me anymore. I disgust you, don't i?

MULDER (as MORRIS): No. No. It's not... It's not that you're disgusting. I-i-it's just that...

JOANNE FLETCHER: It's just that you don't want to ever make love to me ever again, that's all. That and you mumble something about Scully in your sleep. Who is Scully, Morris? Is it another woman?

MULDER (as MORRIS): Does Scully sound like a woman's name to you?

JOANNE FLETCHER: Who is Scully? Tell me.

MULDER (as MORRIS): Oh, Joanne, I'm sure I've told you many times in the past that there are things about my work that unfortunately, I have to keep a secret.

JOANNE FLETCHER: Oh, no, buster. That's not going to fly this time.

MULDER (as MORRIS): My point is that there are a lot of things you don't know about me. And... I've just... I've been under a lot of pressure lately. I mean, up is down and black is white. I don't know where I stand anymore. I don't even know... who I am really anymore. I just... I know for sure that I am not the man you married. I'm just not. And I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry.

JOANNE FLETCHER: Oh, god, Morris. I didn't know. They have that pill now. (understanding laughter ) We can work this out. There's other ways to be intimate.

(She hugs him. The doorbell rings.)

MULDER (as MORRIS): I think that that was the doorbell.

JOANNE FLETCHER: We can make this work.

(MULDER gives a silent yell of joy as she turns away to go answer the door. Big Duchovny mug. JOANNE FLETCHER opens the door. It is SCULLY.)

JOANNE FLETCHER: Yes?

SCULLY: Hi. My name is Dana Scully. I'm looking for Morris Fletcher.

(JOANNE FLETCHER's happy face falls.)

JOANNE FLETCHER: (yells) Morris!

(MULDER comes to the door with a big grin when he sees SCULLY. JOANNE FLETCHER slaps him.)

JOANNE FLETCHER: You son of a bitch.

(She goes back into the house.)

SCULLY: I'm sorry. Uh, Morris Fletcher?

MULDER (as MORRIS): (quietly) Scully, it's me. It's Mulder.

(MULDER closes the door and pulls SCULLY into the driveway.)

SCULLY: (nervous) You're, uh... You're the man from the other night? From Area 51?

JOANNE FLETCHER: (yelling from inside the house) Liar!

SCULLY: You phoned me. Would you mind telling me what this is about?

MULDER (as MORRIS): I'm Mulder. I'm really Mulder. I switched bodies, places, identities with this man Morris Fletcher the man that you think is Mulder, but he's not. (sees his reflection in the car window - of MORRIS) Of course you don't believe me. Why was I expecting anything different? Your full name is Dana Katherine Scully. Your badge number is... Hell! I don't know your badge number. Your mother's name is Margaret. Your brother's name is Bill Jr. He's in the Navy and he hates me. (no response from SCULLY) Lately, for lunch, you've been having this six-ounce cup of yogurt, plain yogurt, into which you stir bee pollen because you're on a bee pollen kick even though I tell you you're a scientist and you should know better.

JOANNE FLETCHER: (opens the door and dumps all of MORRIS' black suits onto the front steps) Cheater!

SCULLY: Look... Any of that information could have been gathered by anyone.

MULDER (as MORRIS): Even that yogurt thing? That is so you. That is so Scully. Well, it's good to know you haven't changed. That's somewhat comforting.

SCULLY: I don't know what the point of all of this is.

MULDER (as MORRIS): I'll prove it to you.

SCULLY: No. You won't, but I wouldn't mind if you came clean with me.

MULDER (as MORRIS): Scientific proof about what happened to us on that road two nights ago. Fair enough?

(JOANNE FLETCHER opens the front door again and yells out.)

JOANNE FLETCHER: I am calling the police!

(MULDER clasps his hands, begging SCULLY.)

SCULLY: Good-bye, Mr. Fletcher. (walks away)

MULDER (as MORRIS): I will prove it to you, Scully. Tonight. I'll prove everything. Okay?

(SCULLY gets into her car without speaking to him. Camera POV switches to another car's rearview mirror in which we see MULDER watching SCULLY drive away. Then the driver's hand moves the mirror to show his own reflection which is MULDER. The driver is MORRIS. He picks up his cell phone.)

(CUT TO: HOWARD's office. Phone ringing )

HOWARD: (entering the office and answering phone) Howard Grodin.

MORRIS (as MULDER): (on phone) Mr. Grodin, this is Special Agent Fox Mulder the Federal Bureau of Investigation. How are you this morning?

HOWARD: (on phone) How did you get this number?

MORRIS (as MULDER): (on phone) Well, frankly, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. Sir, I am obligated to tell you that you have a security leak in your facility. A man with whom you've worked very closely has contacted this office on several occasions and offered me access to highly classified information.

HOWARD: (on phone) Would you happen to have a name for this man?

MORRIS (as MULDER): (on phone) Why, yes. Yes, I would.




SCENE 18

(MULDER goes into the deserted lab and takes the flight recorder. He places it in a brown paper bag, then sneaks back out. Camera pans over to show that HOWARD watched him from a corner of the room.)




SCENE 19

(SCULLY driving. Her cell phone rings.)

SCULLY: (answering phone) Scully.

AD KERSH: (on phone) You're in Nevada again.

SCULLY: (on phone) Uh... Sir, I am...

AD KERSH: (on phone) Do not speak, Agent. Listen. Your partner already apprised me of his conversation with the air force in his fervent desire to save you from making a fatal career mistake. Therefore, you will follow my instructions to the letter.

SCULLY: (on phone) Sir, I don't know what Agent Mulder might have told you, but I...

AD KERSH: (on phone) You will follow my instructions to the letter. Otherwise, don't bother coming back from Nevada.




SCENE 20
AHEARN'S SERVICE STATION
LINCOLN COUNTY, NEVADA

(Night. MULDER pulls up in front of another gas station. He walks in carrying the brown paper bag with the flight recorder. He sees SCULLY standing near the refrigerated drink aisle.)

ATTENDANT: Can I help you?

(MULDER ignores the ATTENDANT and goes to SCULLY.)

MULDER (as MORRIS): Scully, I got it. I got the proof.

(She says nothing. MULDER looks back at the ATTENDANT who ducks down under the counter. Bright lights as several vehicles pull up outside, briefly illuminating the Morley Cigarettes ad on the door. The SOLDIERS run in and take the flight recorder from MULDER. They push him up against the counter and begin putting cuffs on him.)

SCULLY: I'm sorry.

MULDER (as MORRIS): (betrayed) Scully? You?

(JEFF, HOWARD, and MORRIS enter. MORRIS goes over to stand beside SCULLY. MULDER sees MORRIS. He begins to struggle as they start to drag him out of the station.)

JEFF: Damn it, Morris.

MULDER (as MORRIS): (to MORRIS) You! You son of a bitch! You orchestrated this whole thing! He's not me, Scully! Would I do this?! Would I do this?! Scully...! Scully!

(SCULLY watches them take him out, a look of suspicion, perhaps dawning realization on her face. She takes a few steps toward him.)

MULDER (as MORRIS): (yelling back to her) No, you bastard, tell them the truth! Scully, he's not me! He's not me! Scully! He's not me!

(The SOLDIERS drag him out.)

[TO BE CONTINUED ...]





Return to the Scripts Page