(Man's hand opening a file on Fox Mulder. Early 1970's 8mm home movie of a young Fox and Samantha Mulder getting ready for Halloween. He is dressed as Spock from Star Trek, she is dressed as a fairy. When his fake ear falls off he stamps on it and runs out of frame. His mother gets him back into the shot and the three of them wave at the camera. It does a close up of Samantha, then the screen goes blank.)
MORRIS: (voiceover) Once upon a time, there was a guy with the improbable name of Fox Mulder. He started out life happily enough, as these things go. He had parents who loved him, a cute kid sister. He had a roof over his head, got all his flu shots, had all his fingers and toes and aside from being stuck with the name "Fox" which probably taught him how to fight-- or not-- he pretty much led a normal life. But the worst thing by far-- the biggest kick in the slacks this kid Fox ever got-- was what happened to his sister. One day, she just disappeared.
(Camera pans across trophy wall of all MULDER's diplomas and awards. Then across some X-Files memoribilia that must have survived the fire. Finally, view of man's lapel to which MULDER's FBI ID is clipped, then up to his face which we perceive is MORRIS FLETCHER.)
MORRIS: Now, Fox buckled down and worked his butt off. Graduated top of his class at Oxford then top of his class at the FBI academy. None of that hard work made up for his sister, though. It was just a way of putting her out of his mind. Finally, the way I figure it, he went out of his mind and he's been that way ever since. Fox Mulder pissed away a brilliant career, lost the respect of supervisors and friends and now lives his life shaking his fist at the sky and muttering about conspiracies to anyone who will listen. If you ask me, he's one step away from pushing a baby carriage filled with tin cans down the street. But now, all that's going to change.
(Last scene of Dreamland I - Gas station - MULDER has been arrested by the Area 51 Men In Black and is handcuffed and placed in a SUV as SCULLY watches, having been an unwilling part of the set-up that led to his capture. MORRIS stands beside her.)
MULDER AS MORRIS: Tell them the truth, you lying son of a bitch! He's not me, Scully! Scully! Scully, he's not me!
(SCULLY reluctantly watches the MIB vehicles drive off. MORRIS joins her outside.)
MORRIS AS MULDER: You hate me now, right? Dana, I'm sorry I naked on you to Kersh, but I...I was scared you were going to lose your job.
SCULLY: You did the right thing, Mulder.
MORRIS AS MULDER: I did?
SCULLY: I've been telling you for years you should play more by the book, haven't I?
MORRIS AS MULDER: Hey, it's the new me.
(SCULLY looks out after the cars that took MULDER away.)
(Area 51 brig. MULDER is being led down a corridor by two guards. He is wearing leg irons. The guards push him into a plexi-glass cell and close the door.)
MULDER AS MORRIS: Hey... Hey, fellas, take... What about these? Come on, fellas.
(The guards leave without removing the leg irons. LANA CHEE, the OLD HOPI INDIAN WOMAN who now has the memories of the PILOT, CAPTAIN ROBERT MCDONOUGH from Dreamland part 1is in the next cell. She is smoking a cigarette. She comes over to the barrier that separates them.)
LANA CHEE/PILOT: (laughs) You ain't going nowhere, mibby. You and me have had our asses officially disappeared. Looks like we're up fudge creek.
MULDER AS MORRIS: Who are you?
LANA CHEE/PILOT: Call sign's Maverick. Not like I'm going to be hot- sticking it anytime soon
MULDER AS MORRIS: Are you all right, Ma'am?
LANA CHEE/PILOT: (offended) "Ma'am?" (grabs crotch and walks back to her cot) Kiss my ass, you desk monkey.
(MULDER stares at her.)
(Bullpen office area. MORRIS is playing a golf game on his computer.)
MORRIS AS MULDER: No, no, no. Up, up... Whew. (ball goes in) I am Tiger Woods.
(MORRIS quickly turns off his computer monitor as SCULLY enters with a cardboard box and begins collecting things from her desk. She is not happy.)
MORRIS AS MULDER: So, what did Kersh say?
SCULLY: He said that I was willful, insubordinate and not a team player and the FBI didn't need agents that weren't team players.
MORRIS AS MULDER: What a jerk. Then what?
SCULLY: Two-week suspension without pay.
MORRIS AS MULDER: You're not serious. Who does he think he is?
SCULLY: (heading out the door with her belongings) See you in two weeks.
MORRIS AS MULDER: Dana? You suppose a home-cooked meal might ease the pain a little? Say, at my place 8:00?
(SCULLY stares at him as if thinking about it, then gives a small nod of affirmation and leaves. MORRIS taps the door as it closes and returns to his game with a big grin.)
MORRIS AS MULDER: Think she likes me, Tiger.
(Area 51 brig. MULDER - in hell - is lying on the cot in his cell. It appears that he has been listening to his cell mate for a LOOONG time.)
LANA CHEE/PILOT: So there I am with this wet-behind-the-ears Rio flying back seat and I'm thinking, hell, man I'm going to give this cherry the ride of his life." So I'm putting the spurs to her, you know? And I'm doing a little hassling with my wingman, Buzzsaw. Now, Buzzsaw...
MULDER AS MORRIS: Hey, Maverick would you mind?
LANA CHEE/PILOT: Hold up. Buzzsaw gets on my zero. He's right on my zero. And when Buzzsaw gets on your zero...
MULDER AS MORRIS: Maverick...?
LANA CHEE/PILOT: ...he's like a damn dog tick.
MULDER AS MORRIS: Maverick?
LANA CHEE/PILOT: You ain't shaking that son of a gun.
MULDER AS MORRIS: (really frustrated) Hey, Grandma Top Gun, will you shut the hell up?!
LANA CHEE/PILOT: You're my bitch now pencil-neck.
(She has come up to the wall separating them and flicked her cigarette into his cell. MULDER, furious, reches throught the gap in the wall and tries to grab her neck. She laughs at him. GUARD enters and opens MULDER's cell door.)
GUARD: General Wegman wants to see you.
(CUT TO: GENERAL WEGMAN's office. MULDER sits across from WEGMAN. JEFF and HOWARD stand next to him.)
GENERAL WEGMAN: Son... You got a set on you. I'll say that much.
JEFF: You had us fooled. Why didn't you tell us what you were doing from the start?
MULDER AS MORRIS: (confused) Meaning?
GENERAL WEGMAN: It's the wrong one. You replaced the flight data recorder. This one's from...
HOWARD: A scrapped F-111, sir. It's junk. You gave the FBI the wrong flight data recorder. Why?
JEFF: Morry, if you were running a scam on the FBI why didn't you let us in on it?
MULDER AS MORRIS: (faking it) I didn't know if I could trust you. We have a security leak, gentlemen and for all I knew it was one of you. That's why I decided I should approach Agent Scully alone to find out who her contact is. Unfortunately, her partner Agent (said with disgust) Mulder screwed everything up.
HOWARD: So why didn't you tell us all this afterward?
MULDER AS MORRIS: I knew that you wouldn't believe it until you figured it out for yourself.
HOWARD: So the real flight data recorder is safe?
MULDER AS MORRIS: Oh, yeah. Absolutely.
HOWARD: And you will bring it back?
MULDER AS MORRIS: (laughing) Of course.
GENERAL WEGMAN: (proud) By God, you do got a set on you. I wish I could say the same about some of your colleagues. About those who proffer rumor and innuendo those who make dangerous accusations.
HOWARD: Sir, Morris's behavior seemed to....
GENERAL WEGMAN: (to HOWARD) You can explain yourself to the review panel in Washington. I've already wired them recommending censure for your actions. You're lucky I didn't throw you in the stockade.
(MULDER's apartment. MORRIS enters carrying two grocery bags. He looks at the apartment with a critical eye.)
MORRIS AS MULDER: Uh-huh.
(MORRIS sets the bags down in the kitchen and takes three fat candles out of one of the bags and goes back to the living room.)
MORRIS AS MULDER: A little mood lighting for the bedroom. (looks around and pauses) No bedroom.
(MORRIS goes over to a closed door. He tries to open it. Nothing happens. He tries again. Nothing. He pulls really hard. The door pops open and several boxes and porno magazines fall out. The room is completely filled waist high with boxes, old furniture and papers.)
MORRIS AS MULDER: This guy hasn't been laid in ten years.
(MUDLER pulls into the driveway next to a minivan. All of MORRIS' belongings are piled up in the middle of the driveway. He sees a plain sedan pull up a few doors down and stop. No one gets out. CHRIS, the teenage daughter, comes out of the house. She has a gold nose ring.)
MULDER AS MORRIS: (trying to be friendly) Hey, Chris. Hey, I like the, uh... The, uh... The nose... (he touches the ring and she jerks back)
CHRIS: Ouch! As if.
(TERRY, the younger brother, also comes out.)
MULDER AS MORRIS: Terry. Buddy. Hey, Terence. Sorry. How's it going?
TERRY: Mom says she's taking out a restraining order on you.
(CHRIS and TERRY get into the minivan and drive away. MULDER waves, but there is no response. Giving up, he goes into the house. He looks out the window and sees the men in the sedan are watching his house. JOANNE comes up behind him.)
JOANNE MORRIS: What are you doing back?
MULDER AS MORRIS: Joanne...
JOANNE MORRIS: Your stuff is all outside. Take it and get out.
MULDER AS MORRIS: Joanne, listen to me. There's something I got to tell you.
JOANNE MORRIS: I've heard enough from you for one lifetime, Morris. Go tell it to that tramp of yours, that Scully, whatshername.
MULDER AS MORRIS: Dana Scully- Special Agent Dana Scully.
JOANNE MORRIS: Special Tramp Dana Scully.
MULDER AS MORRIS: She's my partner, Joanne.
JOANNE MORRIS: I'm supposed to be your partner.
MULDER AS MORRIS: My name is not Morris Fletcher. It's Fox Mulder. Special Agent Fox Mulder with the FBI. Dana Scully is my FBI partner. I am not your husband we are not married, we are complete strangers and I have a whole other life that I'm desperately trying to get back to.
JOANNE MORRIS: You know, Morris most men when they have a mid-life crisis they go out and buy themselves a sports car. They don't run around calling themselves Fox.
MULDER AS MORRIS: I want you to look out the window. Will you just look out the window with me for a second? See that car down there? See the two men in it? They're surveilling me. They're spying on me. I don't know if your husband ever told you this but he has a very dangerous job and those two men in that car, like you, think that I'm him only they don't trust me. So, one false move and I'm history. Which means that your husband will also be history because I won't be able to get back and set things the way they're supposed to be. Do you understand what I'm saying to you?
JOANNE MORRIS: (not believing him) Morris, if you don't like the man you've become I don't blame you one bit. But this flight from reality isn't the answer. Accept who you are. However repulsive that may be.
(MULDER nods as she walks away.)
(MULDER's apartment. SCULLY knocks. MORRIS answers wearing an apron that says "something smells good.")
MORRIS AS MULDER: Perfect timing. Welcome.
(SCULLY looks around in surprise at the clean apartment.)
SCULLY: Wow. Mulder.
(MORRIS takes her coat. SCULLY lets him take it but is obviously surprised.)
MORRIS AS MULDER: You like, huh? Yeah, I thought it was time I stopped living like a frat boy. Come on and see the rest of the place. Over there.
(Leads her into the bedroom which is now spotless. Well, except for the spots on the leopard skin comforter on the canopied bed.)
SCULLY: I didn't even know you had a bedroom.
MORRIS AS MULDER: Oh, yeah. Yeah, got to have someplace to lounge around and read the Sunday New York times, you know.
(Pats the foot of the bed, inviting her to sit.)
SCULLY: Uh, no, that's okay. Thanks.
MORRIS AS MULDER: Seriously, just check it out. Seriously.
(He pulls her to the bed. She sits. It's a waterbed. He sits beside her and they both fall back onto the bed.)
MORRIS AS MULDER: Whoa! Uh-oh.
(They are looking up at the overhead mirror. The reflection shows MULDER and SCULLY.)
MULDER AS MORRIS AS MULDER: Maybe I like to read the New York Times backwards.
(MULDER as MORRIS as MULDER turns on his side to face SCULLY. Next shot is of MORRIS as MULDER.)
MORRIS AS MULDER: Do you hate it?
SCULLY: (pause) No, I don't hate it.
MORRIS AS MULDER: Well, all right then. Uh, don't go away.
(MORRIS goes back to the kitchen, gets the chilled champagne and two flutes and carries them back to the bedroom dancing and singing a Marvin Gaye song from the seventies.)
MORRIS AS MULDER: Let's get it on Let's get it on Let's get it on Let's get it on Tonight is the night...
(Closes the bedroom door with his foot behind him.)
(Overhead mirror shot of MULDER as MORRIS as MULDER laughing and handing SCULLY a champagne glass.)
SCULLY: ,Do you know what would really be fun?
MORRIS AS MULDER: What?
(She dangles her handcuffs in front of him.)
MORRIS AS MULDER: Oh, yeah. Me first?
SCULLY: You first.
(MORRIS takes the handcuffs and puts one end on his left wrist and the other around the bedpost.)
MORRIS AS MULDER: (shy) First time. Now what?
(Turns in anticipation back to SCULLY. His look quickly turns to panic when he sees her pointing her gun at him.)
SCULLY: You're not Mulder.
MORRIS AS MULDER: What?
(Champagne bottle still in his lap pops open.)
MORRIS AS MULDER: Baby...
SCULLY: (aiming a little lower) "Baby" me and you'll be peeing through a catheter. Your name is Morris Fletcher. It was Mulder who was arrested in the desert. He was telling the truth about you. Now, how do we get things back to normal?
MORRIS AS MULDER: (giving up) How should I know? I wouldn't do it even if I could. You saw my wife. Do you think I want to go back to that? Two kids who'd probably kill me in my sleep for the insurance money. A $400,000 mortgage on a house that just appraised at $226,000. And my job... Yee-gods. You think being a man in black is all voodoo mind control? I can see the paperwork.
SCULLY: Are you through?
MORRIS AS MULDER: As far as I'm concerned this thing is a gift from heaven. Besides, no one is ever going to believe you so you might as well just get used to me being here.
SCULLY: Or I just shoot you... Baby.
MORRIS AS MULDER: (pleading) I'm telling you, I have no idea how to change things back.
SCULLY: What about Mulder's source? The man he was supposed to meet in the desert? What about him? Do you know how to get in touch with him?
MORRIS AS MULDER: I don't know anything about that. Sorry. You're out of luck.
(Phone rings. They wait for the machine to pick up.)
ANSWERING MACHINE: (MORRIS' voice) Hello, hello. I'm very busy entertaining a *special* guest. Leave a message and I'll get back to you.
(MORRIS looks embarrassed. SCULLY looks disgusted.)
MAN ON ANSWERING MACHINE: Agent Mulder, I'm trying you one last time. Are you or are you not interested in the classified information I have to give you? Please pick up the phone if you're there.
(SCULLY indicates for MORRIS to pick up. He does and hold the phone so that both he and SCULLY can hear.)
MORRIS AS MULDER: (on phone) Mulder.
MAN ON ANSWERING MACHINE: Agent Mulder, listen very carefully.
(FLETCHER house. MULDER is sitting in a chair in front of the window keeping an eye on the surveillance car. He plays with the blinds with his sock foot.)
JOANNE MORRIS: Well, I guess we've given the neighbors enough to talk about. For God's sake, Morris at first you couldn't wait to get away from me and now you won't leave the house.
MULDER AS MORRIS: Where can we go?
JOANNE MORRIS: What do you mean?
MULDER AS MORRIS: You're right. We should get out of the house. Go someplace with a lot of people.
JOANNE MORRIS: Someplace with a lot of people?
MULDER AS MORRIS: Mm-hmm.
JOANNE MORRIS: In Rachel, Nevada?
MULDER AS MORRIS: (smiling and stroking her face) What do you say?
(Night. Inside SCULLY and MORRIS' car parked outside the Little A'Le Inn, Earthlings Welcome, a country western bar/hotel.)
MORRIS AS MULDER: All right, let's run through this one more time. I'll go in there alone, just like you told me to. He'll be wearing a blue Buffalo Bills cap.
MORRIS AS MULDER: And if I try and slip out the back door (points finger at his head like a gun) da-da-da-dee-dee-dee.
SCULLY: Get going.
MORRIS AS MULDER: Can't we start over? You know, do that thing with the handcuffs?
(SCULLY holds up and cocks her gun.)
MORRIS AS MULDER: Probably not your scene.
(MORRIS enters the bar and begins looking around.)
COUNTRY MUSIC ON JUKEBOX:
I have waited for what seems
Like a whole light-year
Just to see your face
Once again, my dear
Shiny brown-eyed moonlight,
With big dark eyes
That send me out of sight
Now I'm staring
At the stars...
(Camera has panned over to the table where MULDER and JOANNE are drinking a beer and a white wine. MULDER keeps looking around the bar)
JOANNE MORRIS: Are you expecting someone?
MULDER AS MORRIS: No, I'm not expecting someone.
JOANNE MORRIS: Because if you're here expecting someone and not to buy me a drink, you should tell me now so I can divorce you and take the house.
MULDER AS MORRIS: Joanne, have another white wine.
(MULDER taps on her glass to signal the waiter to bring her another.)
Staring at the stars
Wondering where you are...
(MORRIS joins a man wearing a blue Buffalo Bills cap. It is GENERAL WEGMAN.)
MORRIS AS MULDER: (amazed and very amused) You're the guy?!
GENERAL WEGMAN: Sit down.
MORRIS AS MULDER: Well, I'll be damned.
(CUT TO: MULDER and JOANNE's table. MULDER sees JEFF and some other MIBs enter the bar.)
MULDER AS MORRIS: Whoa, ooh, that beer, it went right through me. I got to... I'll be right back.
(CUT TO: WEGMAN's table.)
MORRIS AS MULDER: You sabotaged a UFO?
GENERAL WEGMAN: Keep your voice down. I didn't intend for it to crash, Agent Mulder. I just meant to disable the stealth module so you could see it.
(CUT TO: Outside in the parking lot. MULDER is sneaking through the cars trying handles to find an unlocked door. By chance, he opens the passenger door of SCULLY's car.)
MULDER AS MORRIS: Scully.
SCULLY: Mulder? Is that really you?
MULDER AS MORRIS: (getting in the car with her) What are you doing here?
SCULLY: I'm trying to figure out a way to help you.
(CUT TO: JOANNE sitting at the table alone, waiting. She is served another glass of wine.)
Now I'm staring at the stars...
(CUT TO: WEGMAN's table.)
MORRIS AS MULDER: What, are you, like, disgruntled?
GENERAL WEGMAN: You make me sound like some postal clerk. What you came for is on the floor by your feet.
(MORRIS looks down and sees a brown paper bag containing the flight data recorder. He smiles.)
Starlight, star bright...
(CUT TO: JOANNE walking out to parking lot.)
JOANNE MORRIS: Morris?
(She sees MULDER and SCULLY sitting in the car. She returns to her table and tries not to cry. MORRIS, paper bag in hand salutes GENERAL WEGMAN and starts out of the bar. He sees JOANNE, obviously upset, and stares at her. He's torn. He sees JEFF shaking his head at some other Men in Black. MORRIS ducks into the Men's room.)
In my memory you are moonlight, starlight
With big dark eyes that
Send me out of sight
Now I'm staring at the stars
Wondering where you are
Wondering if I'll ever see
Your face again
Now I'm staring at the stars
Wondering where you are...
JEFF: (coming over to JOANNE's table) Joanne? Hey, how's it going? Listen, have you seen Morry?
(MULDER enters the bar again.)
JOANNE MORRIS: You bet I've seen him.
(JOANNE throws her glass of wine in MULDER's face.)
JEFF: Hey, hey, whoa, guys. Guys. What the hell was that, Morry?
MULDER AS MORRIS: I guess I make a lousy husband.
JEFF: I'll talk to her.
(MULDER goes into bathroom and starts to try to clean his shirt. Looks into the mirror and sees reflection of a MULDER holding a brown paper bag. He angles the mirror to show his own reflection which is that of a MORRIS with a wine soaked shirt. He turns to face MORRIS as MULDER.)
MULDER AS MORRIS: So you're the guy that wants my life. I assume that includes all the ass-kickings.
(MULDER locks the bathroom door.)
MORRIS AS MULDER: Oh, no... You don't want to do this.
(MULDER slams MORRIS up against the wall.)
MULDER AS MORRIS: Yeah, I do.
MORRIS AS MULDER: Jeff's outside.
MULDER AS MORRIS: So what?
MORRIS AS MULDER: If he sees us together, we're both dead. Especially when he sees this.
(MORRIS holds out paper bag. MULDER looks inside and sees the flight data recorder.)
MULDER AS MORRIS: You take that to Scully right now.
MORRIS AS MULDER: You must have some sort of waxy buildup. I said Jeff's here. No way am I going out there until he leaves. You sneak it past him. You're his buddy.
MULDER AS MORRIS: His buddy? He doesn't trust me as far as he can throw me. You saw to that.
(CUT TO: WEGMAN's table. GENERL WEGMAN leaves a tip then starts out of the bar. Sees JEFF and his cronies.)
GENERAL WEGMAN: Oh, geez.
(GENERAL WEGMAN ducks into the men's room He paces for a moment then looks up to see MULDER and MORRIS peeping over the stall wall.)
MULDER AS MORRIS: Hey.
GENERAL WEGMAN: Hey.
...as long as the sun would shine
You would love me
And I hope
You'll love the sunshine
One more time...
(SHORT TIME LATER: GENERAL WEGMAN exits the bathroom observed by SCULLY and JEFF.)
GENERAL WEGMAN: Jeff.
JEFF: General Wegman.
GENERAL WEGMAN: You men, come with me. (leads them outside)
JEFF: Sir... What are we, uh...?
GENERAL WEGMAN: There. Detain that man.
(Points at MULDER carrying a brown paper bag across the parking lot.)
JEFF: Morris... Stop.
(They take his arms.)
MULDER AS MORRIS: Hey, guys.
JEFF: What's in the bag, Morris?
MULDER AS MORRIS: It's, uh... Beer.
GENERAL WEGMAN: You sure it's not a flight data recorder?
MULDER AS MORRIS: No, it's beer.
(JEFF looks in the bag. It is beer. They all look up to see a car driving off. MULDER nods at WEGMAN. The car contains SCULLY and MORRIS with the flight data recorder.)
MORRIS AS MULDER: (in the car with SCULLY, chuckling) Suckers.
(Lone Gunmen Office. FROHIKE is serving huevos rancheros to BYERS and LANGLY. Very domestic little scene.)
LANGLY: Mmm. More huevos rancheros.
FROHIKE: Mas huevos rancheros.
BYERS: Por favor. (Door buzzer sounds.)
SCULLY: Open up. (Video feed show MULDER and SCULLY waiting outside the door. FROHIKE opens the many locks on the door and lets SCULLY and MORRIS in.)
FROHIKE: Mulder... If I'd known you were coming I would have made more salsa.
SCULLY: We need your help right now.
LANGLY: (taking the flight data recorder) Who crashed?
SCULLY: Who, what, why. I need to know everything that's on that data recorder.
BYERS: It's similar in size and shape to the FDRs on the SR-71.
FROHIKE: (looking at the FDR) Well, that's definitely not standard issue.
BYERS: (to MORRIS) Where did you get this?
SCULLY: Groom Lake. Outside Area 51.
LANGLY: The Aurora spy plane.
SCULLY: What's that?
FROHIKE: Black world. Top, top secret. A skunkworks special.
BYERS: Aurora is a hypersonic reconnaissance aircraft fueled with slush- hydrogen.
LANGLY: Or methylcyclohexane.
(MORRIS, reading the latest issue of the Lone Gunman, begins giggling.)
FROHIKE: What's with him?
MORRIS AS MULDER: You guys like the name? I'm going to go with either "Aurora" or "Borealis."
FROHIKE: What the hell's he talking about?
SCULLY: He's not Mulder.
SCULLY: (uncomfortable) We think the crash of this particular aircraft-- whatever it was-- resulted in a, uh... (sighs)
MORRIS AS MULDER: My name is Morris Fletcher. I work inside Area 51. I assumed Mulder's identity through a warp in the space-time continuum.
(LGM laugh, then get serious when they see SCULLY is not laughing.)
MORRIS AS MULDER: (leans down close to FROHIKE) Trust me, little man, I ain't him. Oh, I love you guys. I really do. I mean, you're the "Lone Gunmen," aren't you? You guys are my heroes. I mean, look at this crap you print.
BYERS: (defensive) We uncover the truth.
MORRIS AS MULDER: Oh, the truth. Well, see that's what's so great about you monkeys. Not only do you believe this horse pucky that we create you broadcast it as well. I mean, look at this.
(Shows LGM headline " Saddam testing Mandriod Army in Army Iraqi Desert.)
MORRIS AS MULDER: There is no Saddam Hussein. This guy's name is John Gillnitz. We found him doing dinner theater in Tulsa. Did a mean King and I. Plays good ethnics.
LANGLY: You're trying to say that Saddam Hussein's a government plant?
MORRIS AS MULDER: I'm saying I invented the guy. We set him up in '79. He rattles his saber whenever we need a good distraction. Ah... If you boys only knew how many of your stories I dreamed up while sitting on the pot.
FROHIKE: What stories?
MORRIS AS MULDER: Oh, I'm sorry, Melvin, that's classified.
FROHIKE: (threatening him with spatula) The name's Frohike, you punk ass. What the hell you do with Mulder?
SCULLY: Shut up, all of you. If you guys want Mulder back, get me these results.
(GENERAL WEGMAN's office. WEGMAN is alone, shredding documents. Knock at the door.)
GENERAL WEGMAN: Who is it?
MULDER AS MORRIS: Morris Fletcher.
GENERAL WEGMAN: Come in. We shouldn't be seen together. Not after last night. Fletcher... Mulder... Whoever you are.
MULDER AS MORRIS: I'm hoping this'll be our last meeting. Agent Scully's flying back with the analysis of that flight data recorder.
GENERAL WEGMAN: It'll be too late to save me.
MULDER AS MORRIS: I know. The real Morris Fletcher knows you're the leak.
GENERAL WEGMAN: Once you get back-- if you get back-- he'll have me arrested. Disappeared. Even if he doesn't his colleagues will figure out soon enough I sabotaged that craft.
MULDER AS MORRIS: Why'd you do it?
GENERAL WEGMAN: I didn't mean for it to crash. I just wanted you to see it.
MULDER AS MORRIS: Well, why?
GENERAL WEGMAN: There comes a time when you... look back instead of forward... See the sum of your life. My entire career has been spent hiding the truth from the American people destroying, in a way, that which was most precious to me.
MULDER AS MORRIS: What is the truth?
GENERAL WEGMAN: You mean... You don't know?
MULDER AS MORRIS: Don't know what?
GENERAL WEGMAN: The truth - what *is* going on here at Area 51? What are these black-budget projects? We just fly these birds. They don't tell us what makes them go. They engineer them all up in Utah.
MULDER AS MORRIS: Well, if you don't know, why'd you call me?
GENERAL WEGMAN: Well, I... I've seen your file. You've chased flying saucers for years. (really asking him) Do aliens really exist, Agent Mulder?
(MULDER just stares at him.)
(Lone Gunmen Office. Computer screen starts displaying information.)
FROHIKE: Something's coming up.
BYERS: Got it.
SCULLY: What is it?
BYERS: We broke the encryption.
LANGLY: This baby records the telemetry of 28 systems including airspeed, fuselage torque and delta-v.
FROHIKE: Yeah, all the usual readouts, but, uh... What are these?
BYERS: Tachyon flux... Gravitational displacement.
FROHIKE: "Aurora," my ass. What have you guys been flying out there?
(MORRIS raises his eyebrows mysteriously.)
SCULLY: All right, I want you guys to analyze that data. Morris...
MORRIS AS MULDER: (holding up paper "Minx or Mandroid.") This is one of mine.
SCULLY: Get your butt in gear.
MORRIS AS MULDER: You're going to miss me when I'm gone.
FROHIKE: Fat chance, laughing boy.
MORRIS AS MULDER: Back off, sneezy.
SCULLY: (stepping between them) Enough. Call me when you guys have some answers.
(Night. Outside Area 51. Two GUYS and a GIRL walking come upon a white mailbox all by itself.
GUY 1: Ah, far out. The black mailbox.
GUY 2: Dude, that's a white mailbox.
GUY 1: No, they painted it white to hide it. This is the black mailbox. The best place to see Freedom Mountain and the UFOs over Dreamland, man. (GUY 2 and the GIRL start making out. ) I know a guy who saw five in one night. He said they danced in the sky. (rumbling sound) You guys hear that? What the hell? (ripple passes over them) Cool. Did you guys see that?
(GUY 1 turns to see that GUY 2 and the GIRL have merged into each other. Her arm is completely through his chest and their faces are grotesquely connected. GUY 1 stares at them in horror.)
(Night. Desert. SCULLY and MORRIS pull up beside MULDER's car. SCULLY gets out and joins MULDER about twenty feet away. MORRIS stays in the car.)
MULDER AS MORRIS: You don't look too happy. Don't tell me I'm going to have to put two kids through school.
SCULLY: (hesitantly) That is you in there, Mulder, isn't it?
SCULLY: (hugging herself) I, uh... I just got off the phone with Frohike. They were able to download and analyze the crash data and, yes, there was an anomalous event that night.
MULDER AS MORRIS: And how do I get back?
SCULLY: (not easy for her to say) Well, that's just it. It's all about random moments in time... About a series of variables approaching an event horizon. And even if we... could recreate that moment if we could sabotage another craft... Mulder, if we were... If we were off... If the event were off by even one millisecond...
MULDER AS MORRIS: I might wind up with my head in a rock.
SCULLY: Something like that, yeah.
MULDER AS MORRIS: (depressed) What about him? I mean, me. Whatever. Whoever he is.
SCULLY: Agent Mulder has become AD Kersh's new golden boy. He's been tasked with returning the flight data recorder that he and I stole. The son of a bitch confesses to Kersh even more than I do to my priest. I'm just tagging along for the ride.
MULDER AS MORRIS: What do you mean, "just tagging along"?
SCULLY: I'm out of the Bureau. I've been censured and relieved of my position.
MULDER AS MORRIS: No. You can explain it to them like you explained it to me. You have the data. You can make them understand. You can get your job back.
(SCULLY looks at him with affection. His response was completely different from MORRIS' fake sympathy when she told him.)
SCULLY: I'd kiss you if you weren't so damn ugly.
(MULDER smiles at her and nods.)
( MORRIS honks the horn at them.)
MORRIS AS MULDER: (yelling out the window) Take a picture-- it'll last longer.
(MULDER and SCULLY pause a moment as they look over at the car.)
MULDER AS MORRIS: (through clenched teeth) If I... shoot him is that murder or suicide?
SCULLY: Neither, if I do it first.
(SCULLY squeezes his arm in farewell, then walks toward the car. MULDER stops her.)
MULDER AS MORRIS: Hey, Scully...
(MULDER holds out his closed hand to her. She holds out her palm. He pours a handful of sunflower seeds into her hand, then takes one back and puts it in his mouth. They look at each other. MULDER sadly watches as SCULLY gets in the car and it drives away.)
(CUT TO: GUY 1 stops a car on the desert highway.)
GUY 1: (frantic) Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! You got to help me! You got to help me! Open the window! Please, open your window!
(It is HOWARD GRODIN in the car,)
GUY 1: I need to talk to you! Please, I need somebody to help me. (Camera view of just their feet as GUY 1 falls as they follow the path toward the couple.) It's this thing... It was like, like, like a wave... Like all squiggly and everything... (GUY 1 trips and falls, gets up) And... And their faces, they, they stuck together! And, and, and her arm-- it was coming through his chest!
(HOWARD shines his flashlight on the couple. They are making out on the ground. They turn in surprise as the light hits them.)
GUY 2: Sam, man, where you been? Who's the dude?
GUY 1: I swear, man... They were messed up.
HOWARD: (staring at the couple who are now completely normal) I believe you.
(Inside SCULLY and MORRIS' car. Day. Desert highway. SCULLY ignores him.)
MORRIS AS MULDER: So the motel guy wants cash. Won't take credit card-- do you believe that? So then it hits me-- I flash him my badge: "Fox Mulder, FBI." I tell him we're investigating crappy motels in the Southwest. He'd better watch his behind. So guess what? The guy gives me the room for free and he throws in a six-pack of brews to boot. I love this job! Listen, Dana, after we return this flight recorder what do you say I have a word with the big man-- see if I can get you your job back? We could have lots of fun together once you got to know me. You know I'd change.
SCULLY: I've still got my gun.
MORRIS AS MULDER: All right, already.
(They pass the gas station that was destroyed in Part One.)
SCULLY: Wait a second, hold on. Back up.
MORRIS AS MULDER: What is it?
SCULLY: (an order) Back up.
(SCULLY gets out of the car and walks up to the gas station. She stares in amazement. It is completely undamaged. The PREVIOUSLY RUDE ATTENDANT from Part One comes out to greet her.)
PREVIOUSLY RUDE ATTENDANT: Can I help you, ma'am?
SCULLY: I don't understand. This-this place was burnt to the ground.
PREVIOUSLY RUDE ATTENDANT: I don't think so.
SCULLY: Yeah... This place, two nights ago.
PREVIOULSLY RUDE ATTENDANT: I think I'd remember that.
(Area 51 brig. HOWARD and two guards escort the pilot ROBERT McDONOUGH/LANA CHEE (chanting) to the brig. They remove LANA CHEE from her cell.)
LANA CHEE/PILOT: What's going on?
(FLETCHER house. MULDER is loading MORRIS' things into a U-Haul. MORRIS and SCULLY drive up.)
MULDER AS MORRIS: What are you doing here?
SCULLY: I need to talk to you. Something's happened.
(In the front door, JOANNE and TERRY are struggling to get MORRIS' recliner outside.)
JOANNE MORRIS: Morris! Don't forget your stupid chair! You and it should be very happy together! (sees SCULLY) Terence, get back inside. (he does) You got a lot of gall coming back here, sister
MULDER AS MORRIS: Joanne, I told you-- I'm not your husband. (points to MORRIS) This man is.
JOANNE MORRIS: (to SCULLY) You come here to watch my family fall apart? You getting some kind of big kick out of that?
SCULLY: (to MULDER) I have to talk to you alone.
JOANNE MORRIS: (to SCULLY) Homewrecker!
(MULDER and SCULLY step away from the others. MORRIS looks at JOANNE with pity. She is still trying to get the chair out of the door. He walks up to her.)
MORRIS AS MULDER: Careful. You're going to bust a lung.
JOANNE MORRIS: Leave me alone.
MORRIS AS MULDER: Joanne... What he said about me being your husband-- it's true.
JOANNE MORRIS: Get the hell off my porch.
MORRIS AS MULDER: We got married on June 13, 1978. It rained that day. You got mad at me at the reception because I said couldn't see the cake behind your fat ass. (JOANNE turns and looks at him.) Remember our first apartment-- that dump in Pentagon City? You'd turn the air conditioner on and the lights would go out? Or when you were pregnant how I'd tickle your kneecaps to make you laugh? Remember? Remember the night Chrissy was born? When I held her in my arms all red-faced and screaming?
JOANNE MORRIS: (crying) That was the only time I ever saw you cry. Oh, my god... Morris? Is that you?
MULDER AS MORRIS: Come on, Morris. Let's go.
JOANNE MORRIS: What do you mean, go? Where are you taking him?
SCULLY: Mrs. Fletcher, we have reason to believe that whatever event caused this to happen may be in the process of reversing.
MULDER AS MORRIS: We got to get back to that highway, back to the exact spot where this all began. It may be our only chance.
(2 SUVs of MIBs pulls up. JEFF approaches them.)
JEFF: Sorry, Morris. A traitor's a traitor.
MULDER AS MORRIS: This isn't what it looks like.
SOLDIER: (retrieving the flight data recorder from SCULLY's car.) Got it!
(Night. Inside JEFF's SUV. MULDER, SCULLY, and MORRIS are sitting in the back seat. They enter Area 51 space, same location as beginning of Dreamland part 1. There is a group of white SUVs waiting for them.)
SOLDIER: (driving) Sir.
(SOLDIER stops the car. JEFF gets out and goes up to HOWARD who has been waiting for them.)
JEFF: What are you doing?
HOWARD: I'm cleaning up a mess.
JEFF: What are you talking about?
HOWARD: About an hour ago I put Captain McDonough and Mrs. Chee back where they belong. Now it's their turn. (indicating MORRIS, MULDER, and SCULLY.)
MULDER AS MORRIS: The warp that started this is snapping back like a rubber band.
SCULLY: Only we have to be in its path when it happens.
MULDER: (to HOWARD) Why are you doing this?
HOWARD: Till now, I had a spotless career record. I want that back.
(They all listen to a rumbling sound.)
MORRIS AS MULDER: So this is time snapping back?
MULDER AS MORRIS: It'll be like the last few days never happened. You won't remember any of this.
MORRIS AS MULDER: Oh. Well, in that case, Dana... It's been real.
(MORRIS slaps SCULLY on the butt. MULDER glares at him. Wave passes over them. SCULLY grips MULDER's hand. He is wearing clothing from last episode.)
SCULLY: Come on, Mulder. Let's go.
(SCULLY gets in the passenger seat. MULDER and MORRIS look at each other. MORRIS glances down at his wedding ring, then lights a cigarette and gets in his SUV. MULDER gets in the car with SCULLY.)
(MULDER's apartment building. MULDER gets out of the elevator just as his cell phone rings.)
MULDER: (on phone) Mulder.
(SCULLY is in the office. A man is mopping the floor.)
SCULLY: (on phone) Mulder, it's me. I just wanted to let you know that we slipped under Kersh's radar. Our little field trip to Nevada went unnoticed.
MULDER: (on phone) Oh, yeah?
SCULLY: (on phone) Mulder, I'm sorry that your confidential source didn't pan out.
MULDER: (on phone) Well, I guess you were right, Scully. Just another crackpot who watches too much Star Trek.
SCULLY: (on phone) Good night.
MULDER: (on phone) Hey, Scully? I, uh, know it's not your normal life, but... Thanks for coming out there with me.
SCULLY: (on phone) You're welcome.
(SCULLY opens her desk drawer to put away a file and looks curiously at the fused dime and penny inside. MULDER reopens his apartment door and looks at the number on the door to make sure that it is his.)