2.   You're sitting on a park bench and a Boy
      Scout comes up and helps you cross your
      legs.

3.   Lawn care has become a big highlight of
      your life.

4.   You tune into the easy listening station . . .
      on purpose.

5.   You discover that your measurements are
      now small, medium and large . . .
      in that order.

6.   You light the candles on your birthday
      cake and a group of campers form a circle
      and start singing Kumbaya.

7.   Your arms are almost too short to read
      the newspaper.

8.   You keep repeating yourself.

9.   You start video taping daytime game shows.

10.   At the airport, they ask to check your
        bags . . . and you're not carrying any
        luggage.

11.   You wonder why you waited so long
        to take up macrami.

12.   Your Insurance Company has started
        sending you their fee calendar . . .
        a month at a time.

13.   At cafeterias, you complain that the
        gelatin is too tough.

14.   Your new easy chair has more options
        than your car.

15.   When you do the "Hokey Pokey" you put
        your left hip out . . . and it stays out.

16.   One of the throw pillows on your bed
        is a hot water bottle.

17.   Conversations with people your own age
        often turn into "duelling ailments".

18.   You keep repeating yourself.

19.   It takes a couple of tries
        to get over a speed bump.

20.   You discover the words,
        "whippersnapper",  "scallywag"  and
        "by-crikey"  creeping into your
        vocabulary.

21.   You're on a TV game show and you
        decide do risk it all and go for the rocker.

22.   You begin every other sentence with,
        "Nowadays . . ."

23.   You run out of breath walking
        DOWN a flight of stairs.

24.   You look both ways before crossing
        a room.

25.   Your social security number
        only has three digits.

26.   You keep repeating yourself.

27.   You come to the conclusion that
        your worst enemy is gravity.

28.   People call at 9.00 pm and ask
        "Did I wake you?"

29.   You go to a Garden Party and you're
        mainly interested in the garden.

30.   You find your mouth making promises
        your body can't keep.

31.   The waiter asks how you'd like your steak
        . . . and you say  "pureed".

32.   At parties you attend, "regularity"
        is considered the topic of choice.

33.   You start beating everyone else
        at trivia games.

34.   You frequently find yourself telling
        what a loaf of bread USED to cost.

35.   Your back goes out more than you do.

36.   You keep repeating yourself.

37.   Cafeteria food starts tasting GOOD.

38.   You refer to your $2500 stereo system
        as "The Hi-Fi".

39.   You make it a point to attend
        all the RV shows that come to town.

40.   You realise that a stamp today costs more
         than a picture show did when you were
         growing up.

41.   Your childhood toys are now
        in a museum.

42.   Many of your co-workers were born
        the same year that you got your
        last promotion.

43.   The clothes you've put away until they
        come back in style . . . come back in style.

44.   All of your favourite movies are now
        revised in colour.

45.   The car that you bought brand new
        becomes an antique.

46.   You keep repeating yourself.

47.   You have more hair in your ears and
        nose than on your head.

48.   You wear black socks with sandals.

49.   You take a metal detector to the beach.

50.  err . . .