Out of
the mouth of babes
here is
a list of quotes/answers to questions on science exams given to 11 year
olds. Enjoy ...
-
"To collect
fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a
flame
in a test tube."
-
"Water is composed
of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin.
Oxygin
is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."
-
"H2) is
hot water, because of the H,
and
CO2 is cold water."
-
"When you smell
an odorless gas,
it
is probably carbon monoxide."
-
"Nitrogen is
not found in Ireland
because
it is not found in a free state."
-
"When they broke
open molecules, they found they were
only
stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open
atoms,
they found them stuffed with explosions."
-
"The moon is
a planet just like the earth,
only
it is even deader."
-
"One horsepower
is the amount of energy it takes
to
drag a horse 500 feet in one second."
-
"Some day we
may discover how to make magnets
that
can point in any direction."
-
"Most books
now say our sun is a star. But it still knows
how
to change back into a sun in the daytime."
-
"A vibration
is a motion that cannot make up its mind
which
way it wants to go."
-
"When you breathe,
you inspire.
When
you do not breathe, you expire."
-
"The body consists
of three parts - the brainium, the
borax
and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains
the
brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and
the
abominable cavity contains the bowls, of which there are five - a, e, i,
o, and u."
-
"The pistol
of a flower is its only protection against
insects."
-
"The alimentary
canal is located in the northern part
of
Indiana."
-
"The skeleton
is what is left after the insides have been
taken
out and the outsides have been taken off. The
purpose
of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to."
-
"The tides are
a fight between the Earth and moon.
All
water tends towards the moon, because there is no
water
in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum.
I
forget where the sun joins in this fight."
-
"A fossil is
an extinct animal.
The
older it is, the more extinct it is."
-
"Equator : A
managerie lion running around the Earth
through
Africa."
-
"Germinate :
To become a naturalized German."
-
"Liter : A nest
of young puppies."
-
"Magnet : Something
you find crawling all
over
a dead cat."
-
"Momentum :
What you give a person when they are
going away."
-
"Planet : A
body of Earth surrounded by sky."
-
"Rhubarb : A
kind of celery gone bloodshot."
-
"Vacuum : A
large empty space where the pope lives."
-
"For drowning
: Climb on top of the person and move up
and
down to make artificial perspiration."
-
"For fainting
: Rub the person's chest or, if a lady,
rub
her arm above the head instead. Or put the head
between
the knees of the nearest medical doctor."
-
To keep milk
from turning sour : Keep it in the cow."
back to Home Page