The Tale Of Young Freddie Laws

 

Now this is a tale of young Freddie Laws

Whose sexual equipment got jammed in the doors

By the time they had freed him, he didn’t feel well

For his poor private parts were mangled to hell.

 

They rushed him to hospital the ambulance flew

But when they arrived there - nowt they could do

What a bad blow for Fred, condemned without choice

To a life with no sex and a high squeaky voice.

 

But lucky for Fred so he wouldn’t feel a fool

Some bright spark suggested a bionic tool

A smart new electronic one made out of brass

Though the batteries would have to be kept up his arse.

 

Now newly equipped and after a rest.

Fred thought he would put his tool to test

So finding a woman the nearest one handy

Supplied her with drink and made her feel randy.

 

She without waiting put her hand on Fred’s flies

When she felt was there gave a cry of surprise

That’s my bionic chopper now lets have some fun

"Cor blimey" she said, "It felt more like a gun",

 

They both stripped off quick and Fred entered her fast

Then he turned up the speed knob and gave her full blast

They clung to each other as Fred’s dick shook some more

Then they bounced off the bed and rolled to the floor,

 

Now the pace hotted up and they started to choke

As the air in the room became filled with blue smoke

With a bang Fred’s left bollock shot in the air

And his other one went bonkety bank down the stair.

 

Then back for repair went poor Fred full of woe’’,

Was this how his sex life was destined to go

To return to his doctor at the end of each shag

With his prick in his pocket and his balls in a bag.