General Hammond stood at the window overlooking the Embarkation Chamber and studied the tech crew scurrying around the Stargate like a colony of demented ants.

A dull thud followed by the sound of Colonel O’Neill softly saying "Oh crap" disturbed the General’s concentration. As he turned to face the room he caught sight of the Colonel climbing out from under the table.

O’Neill gingerly laid the rescued pen on the table and glared at it as if he were daring the thing to move, while he checked the top of his head for the bump that was sure to be coming up.

Hammond stepped to the head of the table and faced his leading team. "SG1, we have a mystery on our hands," he said sternly, looking askance at his second in command as he spoke. "Do we have any idea what has happened to the Stargate?" Hammond continued, turning to look at Major Samantha Carter for answers.

"Yes, sir. We’ve run some tests and it seems the atomic structure of the Gate has been compressed. There’s been a reduction in volume only and it’s lost none of its abilities. We can still dial out, it’s just the size of the items being sent through that’s been reduced." Sam explained knowledgeably.

O’Neill stared at Carter with a glazed expression, before turning to the General. " What about contacting our so called friends about this, General?" Jack queried with a wry smile.

Hammond contemplated the idea then nodded his head in agreement. "Try contacting the To’kra, the Tollan and the Nox, one of them may have heard of something similar," he ordered decisively.

Daniel leaned forward in his chair and folded his hands on the table in front of him. "General, it might be a good idea to set up a safe place for any of the teams still off-world and to warn any of our friends not to use the Gate to come here," he offered thoughtfully.

"Dr. Jackson, you and the Colonel set something up concerning that matter, while we’re waiting for an answer from off-world." General Hammond ordered. He came to attention, looked the team over and nodded. "Dismissed"

The four rose to their feet as the General left the briefing room. As a loud rumble echoed through the room, a startled Jack O’Neill spun around and stared at the culprit. Daniel Jackson had fought gallantly and finally lost the battle with hunger.

"Daniel, I take it you haven’t eaten lately!" Jack said, grinning.

"Err, no I haven’t had the time" Daniel replied, flustered.

"Well, go now!" O’Neill ordered in amusement.

Daniel glanced around the corner towards the infirmary and hoped that the Doctor, Janet Fraser wasn’t in residence. He had a little problem in that, since his success in shrinking the Stargate earlier that day, he’d been starving and the amount of food he’d eaten so far was starting to raise eyebrows.

As Daniel crept past the open doorway into Janet’s office, he figured that no one would notice a stack of glucose bars going missing. Or at least not for a while…..

When he added them to the pile of emergency rations he’d smuggled out of Stores without the Sergeant spotting him, the stockpile should last him a couple of days. He could order Pizza when he got home and maybe even some Chinese from the takeout place the other side of town. Between them he should be able to survive the evening.

If he could just get the hunger under control, he might just figure out a way to conceal the amount he was eating. After all he had the brains and he could vaguely remember something about a ‘Horn of Plenty’ so there had to be a solution somewhere.

Then of course, once he got the hang of using the formula, he’d like to see Apophis’s face the first time he used the new technology to get out of one of the Go’aulds traps.

The alarm went off with a strident series of bleeps, and startled Daniel out of a dream where he’d been in a Greek Temple and Demeter, the Greek Goddess of the Harvest was handing him a ram’s horn filled to overflowing with flowers, fruit and corn. "Of course, the Cornucopia!" Daniel exclaimed, waking with a start and sitting upright as the idea flashed through his head. "I wonder if I could do a variation on that theme," he mumbled as he threw the covers aside and shambled toward the bathroom.

As Daniel reached the bathroom doorway he stopped suddenly. "Maybe I’d better have a go at it when I’m on base. That way if something goes wrong it’ll be confined to the SGC." he muttered thoughtfully.

The door to the office was locked and the pile of emergency rations and glucose bars that the archaeologist had appropriated the day before sat in the middle of his desk.

Daniel looked down at the stash of goodies in front of him and took a deep breath. He thought about what he wanted to do, closed his eyes and concentrated carefully on the formula. With his eyes closed he couldn’t see the glowing aurora that emerged from his body and flowed through the walls, but the effect was felt immediately as every item of food and drink on the base gained the ability to regenerate.

In the Stores a Corporal bit into a Snickers absent-mindedly then put it down beside the keyboard of the computer, while he searched the Stores records trying to find ten packs of K-rations that had gone missing. With a sigh he shook his head and picked up the chocolate and peanut bar to take another bite.

A chill ran down his spine as he looked at a sweet that didn’t have any teeth marks in the end….

He glanced around the office trying to spot whoever was playing the joke on him, but the office was empty and silent and the hapless serviceman shivered as he realised he was alone.

Jack O’Neill absentmindedly lifted the forkful of apple pie up to his mouth and hesitated as he read about the latest games of his beloved Ice Hockey team. He smiled as the score in the paper registered. ‘His’ team had won by a large margin.

The pie was sweet just as he liked it, with a crisp outer shell that melted in his mouth like butter, he automatically scooped another forkful up to his mouth before realising the wedge of pie had been untouched by the fork.

O’Neill peered with suspicion at the plate then twisted round and checked to see if anyone was playing tricks on him.

There were two other people in the Mess Hall beside himself. One of them was staring wide eyed down into his cup of coffee and the other was backing away from the table and shaking his head in disbelief. Jack O’Neill closed his eyes and started to mutter to himself.

"Not again, please God, not again!! "

"Gentlemen, we now have two mysteries on our hands." Hammond said as he turned away from the window looking out into the Stargate’s Embarkation Area. "Yesterday, some unidentified effect reduced the Stargate to one foot in diameter without affecting anything around it and now something strange is happening to the food and drink on this Base." The General scanned the faces of Colonel O’Neill and the team of scientists headed by Major Carter. "Have any of you figured out what is happening around here, yet?"

Sam glanced over at the scientists, who were shaking their heads in puzzlement, then looked back at the General. "No, sir. We’ve been in touch with the To’kra, the Tollan and the Nox. The To’kra and the Tollan have never heard of anything like it and seem to be quite worried by it. The Nox on the other hand said something strange," she said crisply.

"And that was, Major?" Hammond enquired.

"That it was just teething troubles and as such nothing to worry about!" she replied.

O’Neill started to bang his head against his hands, which lay folded on the table; then he moaned and looked up into the air. "Someone please tell me what’s going on?!!" he appealed in frustration.

A giggle rang out clearly and startled O’Neill into twisting around in his chair to check behind him. There was nothing there, so he turned back to face the others at the table, whose stares hit him right between the eyes. Jack O’Neill studied the frozen expressions of his companions and shuddered. "General, I just had an Urgo type feeling, if you know what I mean."

Dread filled the hearts of his team members as they glanced uneasily around the briefing room.

Teal’c raised an eyebrow and uttered the thought that was running through all of their minds. "I believe the expression for this occasion would be ‘Oh crap!’. Would it not?" he intoned solemnly.

"Yeah, that’s just the expression we'd use right now," O’Neill agreed emphatically.

Teal’c nodded then spoke slowly and clearly. "Oh crap!!"

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