Tommy looked down at the huge pile of lumber in front of him, then glanced at Jack, Willie and Teal’c. "Right, this job is going to take a bit of manoeuvring. Willie, you see to a steady supply of concrete. Use the semi-dry mix," Tommy commanded with a grin.

"I’ll get right on it," Willie replied as he headed back to the cement mixer. "Jack, you and Teal’c can help me assemble this pile of wood into the pergola that Mr. T. wants," he said, indicating the wood at his feet.

"At least each piece has been pre-cut and finished so that each bit should just drop into place, just like a very large wooden jigsaw," Tommy commented as he crouched down to run his hand over the smooth wood.

"This is going to be a big job, isn’t it?" Jack questioned, thinking of his poor aching back.

"Indeed. This could take time," Teal’c injected, lifting an eyebrow.

"No, it could be worse. He could want decking!" Tommy said, hefting one of the posts up onto his shoulder.

"Last night, I received a call from the nursery that was going to be supplying us with the Blue Lotus," Alan announced to the people standing in front of him.

"And?" Jack enquired warily.

"There was a break-in the night before and someone removed the heads from all of the Lotus plants," Alan said, with more than just a touch of disgust in his voice.

"Why, would anyone do such a thing? And I hope someone catches the vandals before they do more damage," Tommy said as he came up behind him.

"The "why" can be put down to a programme that was aired on the TV recently about the history of the Blue Lotus and its uses," Mr. T. ranted.

"Uses?" Jack queried.

"In ancient times, the Egyptians used the Blue Lotus as an aphrodisiac," Daniel said, starting to go into lecture mode.

Jack O’Neill stared at him then turned to gaze at the others nearby. "Now that’s the type of information I like!"

"Right, that should do it," Charlie said, lowering the pump into the tank.

Sam checked the narrow rill that now ran through the Stargate to see if it looked natural, as she helped Charlie cover the reservoir with a paving slab that matched the others around the Gate. The water flowed through the Gate and vanished under a paving slab about a foot from the edge of the pond. The water looked as if it was running under the paving and into the pool and not into a pipe and back to the tank on the other side of the gate. "Well, it looks alright to me, what do you think?" Sam commented to Charlie.

"I’m not sure if it should look natural or not, but I think it looks okay to me as well!" Charlie replied, wiping her hands on her jeans.

Sam glanced around and saw there was no one watching them. "By the way I’ve collected our blackmail material. Do you feel like taking a few minutes off to have a look at them?" she queried softly.

"Oh, goody! I could do with a cup of tea," Charlie exclaimed with feeling.

"Come with me. I have the keys to the car and directions to the nearest tea-shop," Sam said enticingly, dangling the keys in front of her.

‘Dina-dina-dina-dina- Dina-dina-dina-dina….’

Ferretti dropped a crutch as he scrambled to reach his mobile phone. The plaster cast on his foot getting in the way as he grabbed his jacket. A chorus of "Batman" filled the air as he pressed the button and held it to his ear.

Alan seemed to teleport from one end of the garden to the other when the phone did it’s Batman impression and the others in the garden started to converge on the patio as a feeling of unease hit them.

"Ferretti here," the Major said breathlessly and froze into position as an unexpected voice came from the phone. "Colonel Makepeace, we didn’t expect to hear from you just yet!" he yelped, waving frantically at O’Neill. "I’ll pass you over to Colonel O’Neill," he added, hastily passing the buck and the phone to O’Neill as he came up beside him.

Jack held the mobile phone to his ear as he made faces at Ferretti, promising revenge with every grimace. "Yo, Makepeace, O’Neill here," he said cheerily. The expression on his face started to solidify into a frown as he listened to what Makepeace was saying.

"What do you mean you’ve lost her?" he growled.

Alan spun about and faced the garden to assess the amount of work still to be done and prayed that she wouldn’t appear on the doorstep just at that moment.

"You and your men were bragging about never failing in doing your duty and…?" Jack’s eyes opened wide in disbelief as he listened to the apologetic voice calling from Hawaii.

Daniel and Teal’c exchanged glances that spoke volumes about giving ‘easy’ assignments to amateurs.

"She said if the Nazi’s couldn’t catch her and her husband, a bunch of wet behind the ears kids playing soldier would never keep her in one spot…"

Sam started to shake with laughter as she pictured SG3 flaunting their masculinity, before Mrs. Jones punctured their egos.

"Then she proceeded to drink the lot of you under the table!" O’Neill said with deep admiration.

Sam cast a glance over at Charlie and joined her in the struggle to contain the urge to simply collapse on the spot and howl with laughter.

"The upshot of this conversation is that you and SG3 lost her!" Jack drawled.

Alan shuddered, then looked at a horrified Tommy before joining him in checking out the amount to be done in the garden.

"You found her, but, she’d already boarded a plane for London!" O’Neill felt a touch of panic as he spoke. "When is she due to land at Heathrow?" he demanded.

Alan peered intently at Jack O’Neill and crossed his fingers for luck.

"Twelve and a half hours!" O’Neill sighed with relief.

"Thanks for the warning. Oh! And I hope the hangover goes soon," Jack said as he pressed the button on the phone to end the call. He handed the phone back to Ferretti as he turned to face the others. "The plane is due to land at 0230 hours. We’ll have someone pick her up and take her to a hotel in London, then bring her here when she recovers from the worst of the jet lag," he said as he watched Ferretti pressing buttons on his mobile phone.

"And phone us when they leave there," Tommy added hastily.

Alan looked from the garden to all the people standing around doing nothing. "Well, don’t just stand there, let’s get to it!" he ordered, moving back towards the wall at the far end of the garden.

Willie jumped as the shush of air brakes releasing startled him and looked up from the cement mixer at the first of the trucks that pulled up alongside him. Three large canvas sided trucks had stopped in front of Mrs. Jones house, inscribed on the canvas was the names of the Nurseries supplying the plants for this undertaking.

Leaning the shovel back against the wall, Willie strolled over to the where the drivers were gathering; each clutching a bundle of papers. "Let me guess, you’re here with a delivery for a Mr. Titchmarsh?" Willie’s Irish accent seemed to double in strength as he spoke.

The drivers looked at each other in relief as the light dawned. The man from the first truck smiled back at Willie and replied, "No, it actually says on my delivery note that the delivery is for someone called Mr. Usaf. But, now that I’m here I think someone had a crossed wire somewhere!"

Willie shook his head over the mistake. It could have been worse. They could have gone to the wrong address.

"That should read Ground Force and it’s U.S.A.F as in United States Air Force," Willie explained.

The drivers laughed then headed back toward their trucks to start unloading.

"Hold on a jiff and I’ll get someone to help you unload," Willie said, starting to jog up the garden path.

Willie jogged through the gateway into the garden and almost fell over Ferretti’s crutches. The clatter of them hitting the ground was noisy enough to wake the dead.

Ferretti jumped at the unexpected sound and looked up from the glass of water he’d been reduced to by ‘the accident’. Much to his disappointment, he couldn’t take the tablets and drink alcohol as well.

Willie picked the crutches up and leant them back against the wall of the house. He hadn’t known the American was setting up obstacle courses in the vicinity or he’d have taken more care coming through the gate.

"What’s up?" Ferretti queried as Willie finally reached the edge of the patio.

"The plants have arrived," Willie’s voice seemed to echo back at him.

Jack got a grip on the post as Tommy balanced carefully on the top rung of the step- ladder.

"Okay, hold it steady while I check it’s level," Tommy instructed placing his spirit level up against the post. "Yep, that’s level" he decided in satisfaction, stepping down from the ladder and away from the post to let Teal’c shovel the cement into the post-hole. "And if all goes according to plan, the cross pieces should just drop into place, then all we have to do is to screw them down and we’re finished."

"That’s what you think!" A voice said from behind him as Alan rushed by heading in the direction of the front of the house. "The plants have arrived and it’s now a case of all hands on deck!"

"Wrong service. We're Air Force not Navy. We don't do decks…" Jack said dryly, earning himself a glare from Mr T.

Alan pushed his way through the jungle that filled the front lawn of the house and brushed aside the leaves that were between him and the camera. "That was a David Attenborough moment if there ever was one. I expected to meet him about half way through that jungle," He said, removing a leaf from inside the collar of his shirt.

"Well, as you can see the plants have arrived," he continued as he swept his arm out in a large circle indicating the plants of all shapes and sizes that now surrounded him.

"Because of the size of the garden and the amazing budget, we have been able to bring in trees and shrubs that are a lot larger than those we would usually be able to supply," he said happily, rubbing his hands together.

"I did a lot of research into the plants and trees that were around in Ancient Egypt and was quite amazed to find I recognised so many as common to this country." Alan waved his hands as he strolled slowly in front of the clump of trees towards a selection of enormous trays containing plants.

"Such as Poppies, Cornflowers, Chrysanthemums, Jasmine and many of the herbs we know so well, like Chamomile, Thyme and Mint," he enthused as he wandered from plant to plant indicating them as he went.

"Then of course there are the more ‘unusual’ plants, I know it seems strange to plant this in your border, but did you know the lowly lettuce was dedicated to the Goddess Hathor?" Alan displayed a Salad Bowl Lettuce.

"We also have several Mandrake plants, Mandragora officinarum known as the ‘Devil's Apple’ with its purple funnel shaped flowers, yellow fruit and broad floppy leaves. The root is used for its narcotic properties and legend has it that when it’s uprooted the plant screams. Weird," Alan looked into the camera and gave a theatrically visible shudder.

The six people stood back and examined the jungle before them. There was a minimum of four each of the shrubs and trees and many of the larger trees would require at least two people to carry them.

"Willie, if you and Daniel start by carrying some of the larger trees and shrubs and keep the cement mixing on the go for Tommy," Alan instructed indicating the jungle in front of them.

"Charlie, you and Sam, start transferring the tubs containing the water plants and the smaller stuff." He waved towards the water lilies. "And last but not least, Jack you’re with me," he finished. "Right, let’s get these plants inside and placed, then we can get on with the planting."

Jack reached through the foliage to grasp the edge of the pot with both hands, checking to see that Alan had a firm grip on the other side. He didn't want crushed toes as well as a crick in his back. "On the count of three, lift," he mumbled around the frond that was trying to smother him.

Alan nodded as he tried to peer through the gaps between the Trachycarpus fronds.

"Ready, when you are," he replied, narrowly avoiding strangulation by frond.

"One, two, three, lift!" Jack grunted as he felt the full weight of the plant.

A ragged chorus of "Bloody Hell, it’s heavy" trailed the pair as they staggered up the path towards the garden gate. The fronds drifted around them, making it appear that the plant had started to move of it’s own volition.

The soundman started to snigger; his sense of ridiculous triggered by the sight before him. "Sorry, but I just keep expecting to see Howard Keel coming round the corner with a fire axe," he said, indicating the pseudo Triffid.

Alan backed carefully through the gateway, trying not to drop the palm and sweeping aside loose pieces of rubble with his foot as he moved. Keeping close to the wall and away from the area where Ferretti had stashed the refreshments, he led the way through the obstacle course and neatly bypassed the section of wall where Ferretti’s crutches were leaning.

The Major sat back and started to steer them vocally around the rubbish sited on the patio between the gate and the patio steps. "Jack, watch out for the sledgehammer at eleven o’clock, then about a metre further on there’s a tin of paint at two o’clock," Ferretti said helpfully, watching the two men stagger across the patio towards the steps down into the main garden.

O’Neill grunted as he kicked the hammer aside, muttering unflattering comments about back seat drivers.

Alan peered through the leaves at O’Neill and smiled innocently. "That chair just ahead could cause someone to trip over. You should move it back into place," he suggested helpfully.

As he reached it Jack gave the chair a kick that shifted it back under the table, without dropping the palm and listened with relish to the yelp as it connected with a part of their tormentor.

Ferretti swore as the chair made contact with his injured foot and grabbed the damaged member with both hands as it started to throb yet again. "If you didn’t want help, you could have just said," he complained, sulking.

"We just did!" Jack grunted as they finally reached the steps.

The thud of the pot hitting the ground as Jack and Sam held the Chusan Palm above the hole in the ground accented the proceedings. Alan dug his fingers firmly into the root ball to dislodge some of the tightly knit roots from the clump as he talked into the camera. "Always tease out the root ball before planting, this allows the roots to spread out through the soil around it and then face it before putting the soil back around the roots," he advised, indicating that Jack and Sam could now lower the plant into the hole.

Sam exchanged a quizzical look with Jack as Alan stood up and backed away from the plant, keeping one eye of the pool behind him.

"There’s no mystery to facing plants. It’s just as it says," he said, standing on the edge of the pond. "All plants grow towards the light, therefore that’s the front of the plant, so you place them facing front in the flower beds," Alan explained, studying the palm and trying to ignore the enlightened expressions on Sam and Jack’s faces. "Turn it clockwise slowly until I say stop," he told the SG members.

Jack and Sam lifted the plant slightly and started to turn it slowly under the watchful eyes of the gardener.

"Stop, yes, that’s it!" Alan said, starting towards them as they lowered the Palm into the hole. He shovelled the earth back into the hole around the roots of the plant and then firmed the soil with a booted foot. The three of them moved over onto the path and looked back at the palm.

"When you have to face it, gardening’s easy!" Alan said, backing away quickly as the pun hit the Americans with the force of a grenade going up in their faces.

Teal’c steadied the timber, watching as Tommy gently laid the spirit level along the top of the beam. It was fascinating to compare his carpentry skills with those of Tommy.

He had been taught a few skills by his father, which he had built upon over the years and had used to build a home for his family; the home that Apophis had destroyed. As Teal’c watched, Tommy passed him the spirit level and took up the electric screwdriver and several long screws to fasten the crosspiece into place.

Willie carried the next crosspiece through the garden gate and across the patio to where Tommy and Teal’c were assembling the Pergola into one piece. The Jaffa was starting to see that the finished form of the Pergola as the pieces were put together, would make a series of arches.

Tommy stopped and carefully peered over the top of the arch he’d just finished fixing into place to watch the cuckoo in his nest.

Ferretti was sitting carefully on the top of a stepladder, fitting the nicely chamfered caps to the tops of the posts after Tommy and Teal’c had fixed the crosspieces into place.

"Do you think it’s safe to give an injured man a job up a ladder?" Tommy asked Teal’c.

Teal’c considered the problem then studied Ferretti as he wielded the screwdriver in a two handed grip. "It is not safe for an injured man, but this man is Major Ferretti," he replied after due consideration.

"So?" Tommy queried, starting to see the point.

"We should be more concerned with the survival of the Pergola." Teal’c had seen enough destruction in his life to be able to spot a disaster waiting to happen.

"Due to the unfortunate incident at the nursery the night before last, we’ve had to substitute several different types of lilies for the one’s we had intended to use," Charlie turned to face the camera, as she stood beside several rows of plants submerged in plastic tubs of water. "As this garden is quite sheltered we can use a variety of hardy and tropical lilies, some of which at least should survive a harsh winter," she said brightly. "Here we have one of the hardiest ‘Nymphaea Alba’ with its white flower and green foliage. And alongside it, is one of the sunset group ‘Indiana’. This one starts out as a delicate orange-pink and ages to a coppery red with leaves that are heavily marked with purple." Charlie indicated the containers as she spoke. "Apparently this was a good choice as Mrs. Jones’ husband was known as Indiana in his youth," she added.

The camera swung around as Charlie climbed to her feet, catching a pasty faced Daniel framed dead center in its sights as she moved over to a collection of pots and tubs on the other side of the Stargate. "As we were going to plant the Blue Lotus before the happenings of the night before last, we’ve chosen a beautiful substitute in ‘Margaret Randig’ which has broad-petaled sky blue flowers with yellow centres and heavily mottled foliage.

Daniel stepped down slowly into the water and prayed that his waders wouldn’t leak. Why was it always him that got into wet situations? After the situation with Nem it had been months before the rest of SG1 were comfortable with him taking a ‘shower’. That was why he’d liked Abydos so much – there was less likelihood of him drowning in a desert.

Charlie slid into the water beside him and passed him a small black basket containing the first of the lilies to be placed into the pool. "Daniel, if you follow me I’ll show you how to *plant* a water lily. Then between us we can get everything done twice as fast," she told him as she waded over to the top right hand corner of the pool in front of the Stargate. She took the basket containing a white lily from him, lowered it gently into the water and then started to turn the pads so that they settled the right way up on the surface of the water. Finished, Charlie backed away from the plant, beckoning Daniel to follow her. When they were both about five feet away from the plant she turned to study the effect of the plant on its surroundings. "There you are. It’s as easy as that," she said brightly, leading him back to the edge of the pond.

"Okay. Where do you want this one?" Daniel said, picking up the Indiana Lily.

"On a level with the other one, about five feet from the edge," she replied, lifting another one from the tub. "Right, let’s get stuck in. The last to finish gets to buy the winner a drink," she added, grinning mischievously.

"Centaurea depressa, that’s the Cornflower to you or me," Alan said, holding the pot up to the camera while sitting back on his heels. "This particular one is called Blue Diamond and is a very pretty shade of blue, somewhere between a powder blue and a midnight blue. This variety of Cornflower looks a bit like an Elizabethan neck ruff and grows to about thirty inches high," he said, removing the plant from the pot and teasing out the roots around the edges of the root ball. "You need to make sure that the hole you’re going to put the plant into is just the right depth. And don't bury it too deep or the stalks will rot off." His hands pressed the soil firmly into place around the plant then he climbed to his feet and waved the cameraman to follow him.

"And over here we have a very old variety of Chrysanthemum ‘Emperor of China’. The plant’s flowers are very much like a giant double lawn daisy and like the Cornflower looks like a ruffle." Alan reached into the long stems and cupped one of the flowers admiringly in his hand. "To be exact, we should have used Chrysanthemum coronarium or the Golden Mayweed that archaeologists have discovered was known in Ancient Egypt. But trying to track down exact varieties was too much of a pain even for the BBC Research Department," Mr. T. said with a wry smile.

"Now go away so I can get on with the rest of the planting, go and bother Tommy," Alan said, shooing the cameraman in the direction of the patio.

Tommy raised the can of beer up to his mouth and savoured the taste as he swallowed the brew.

"I think we're nearly finished," O’Neill said, contemplating the garden.

Tommy stepped up beside O’Neill and nodded thoughtfully.

"Yeah, we can’t be far off finishing," he agreed softly.

Ferretti looked up from where he was seated at the table and studied the garden as it lay spread out in front of him. "If this list is right, all that's left to be done is laying the grass, mulching beneath the plants and a final tidy up. Then we're finished," Ferretti said, glancing down at his checklist.

"Not that I know for sure what that word means," O’Neill mumbled.

"What word?" Tommy queried.

"Mulch. It sounds like a squelchy type of word if you know what I mean!" O’Neill said, trying to brazen out his lack of gardening knowledge.

"Yeah! I know what you mean and mulch is what you spread around plants to feed them and to keep weeds down. They usually use well rotted manure but this time I think they’re using either shredded bark or pea shingle. " Tommy bragged, glad to find someone who knew even less about gardening than he did.

"Ooh! Tommy’s showing off now!" Charlie said as she hopped past them trying to pull off her waders.

Tommy glanced back and forth between the huge mound of washed turf and the muddy surface they had to lay it on then he turned and faced Alan with a challenging expression on his face. "Alan, if we split the garden into two halves and you take one half and I take the other we can get this finished faster," he said, holding back a grin. "And to make it interesting, the last one to finish gets to buy the first round in the Pub tonight."

Alan frowned as he considered the bet and decided to rope some of the others in as well. "If we get some of the guys to carry the turf in for us we'd be able to go even faster," he said decisively.

"Yeah, if we get Willie and Teal’c to provide a continuous stream of turf, that’ll leave Jack, Daniel and Sam to help Charlie finish off the rest of the planting and then the mulching afterwards," Tommy shot back, contemplating logistics.

"Well, don’t just stand there! Let’s start turfing this garden," Alan replied as he started to rub his hands together in anticipation of the free drink Tommy was going to buy him tonight.

Tommy's walking past, distracted Jack from spreading the small stones around the plants. The incongruous sight struck him as strange. Of what possible use could a large sledgehammer be in the laying of grass? Jack sat back on his heels and watched as Tommy started to unroll the turf and line it up against the back wall. When he had it straight the builder laid a long plank of wood on top then started to walk along the wood thumping the hell out of it as he went.

Charlie waddled past carrying a sack of pea shingle for further up the garden. "I see Tommy’s already started to assault the grass. He’s determined to win the bet with Alan and get his free drink tonight." Charlie grunted as she dropped the sack onto the pavement.

"Does he do it like this every time?" Jack queried as he watched another roll of turf being butted up against the last row of grass laid.

"We’re usually running late when Tommy bashes the grass that hard, but in this case he’s out to beat Alan." Charlie grinned as she glanced back and forth between both sides of the garden.

"Well, you have to admit the grass wouldn’t dare move after that," Jack said, indicating Tommy’s method.

"And they’re both about level at the moment, so it’s anybody’s race," Charlie said, brightly.

Daniel looked through the shrubbery at Alan as he started to lay the grass as if his very life depended upon it. He could see the cameramen trying not to get in the way as Alan cut away the excess grass up against the wall.

The squeak of an un-oiled wheel attracted Daniel’s attention and he glanced around at Sam as she walked up pushing a wheelbarrow full of sacks of pea shingle. She grinned at him as she dumped a sack down beside him. "Hey, good thinking Sam," Daniel exclaimed, dragging the sack closer to him.

"I’m a scientist. I use my brains. Unlike some around here," she commented loudly.

"I heard that!" was heard in chorus coming from the other side of the pond.

Alan looked around the garden for the little things that still needed doing during the final tidy-up. "Let’s see, we still need to clean up the patio and the front of the house," he said, looking at the remains of the rubble littering the ground. "Jack, you, Daniel and Willie are in charge of the clean up," he decided.

"We who are about to clean, salute you!" O’Neill replied. He suited action to words with a salute and thrust a broom into Daniel’s hands then started to throw pieces of broken paving into the wheelbarrow.

Willie just nodded and headed toward the front gate.

"Tommy, do you and Teal’c want to tie the Grape Vines and Jasmine to the Pergola if the paint’s dry?"

"Makes a change from painting it," Tommy said, with a wry smile.

"Indeed," Teal’c intoned, surreptitiously studying the amount of paint still on his hands.

"Ferretti, I have a job for you that requires you to be sitting down," Alan gave the Major an evil grin. "Charlie, you and Sam take Ferretti and grout the paving," he said, cheerfully watching the mystified expression flit across Ferretti’s face.

Charlie handed Sam and Ferretti brushes similar to short handled brooms and a bucket of sand and lead them down the garden, explaining as she went that the mission should they choose to accept it was to fill in the gaps between the paving slabs with the sand.

Alan picked up a long package before turning to look into the camera. "Which of course, leaves me," he stated cheerfully. "When I was researching Egyptian gardens, I came across pictures of the torches they used in those days and I’ve had a pair made for this garden," Alan said, stripping the wrapping off of the garden lights.

The cameramen watched as two long poles made of gilded wrought iron, with spikes on the bottom and what looked like a wicker torch made of iron at the top, were revealed. The crew then followed Alan from the patio down the centre of the garden and around the pond to the Stargate, carefully keeping the camera on him and trying not to do a Tommy and fall into the pond.

Alan carefully leaned one of the lamps against the Gate as he sunk the first of the Egyptian style torches into the ground. Then picked up the other one and walked behind the Stargate to the other side where he erected the second torch the same distance away as the first.

The tall lamps now standing on either side of the Stargate would illuminate the paintings on the wall behind them.

Picking up a large bottle that he’d stashed among the plants, Alan filled them to the brim with scented oil and a smell reminiscent of frankincense drifted through the air around the Stargate.

Alan walked back around the pond, taking care to step only on the centre of the paving slabs, until he faced the Stargate. "Ah! That look’s better," he said, examining the sight with satisfaction.

The Ground Force team and the Americans stood together on the patio and faced the garden. As they looked down the garden a sward of green grass swept in front of them, parted in the middle with a pergola swathed in grapevines and jasmine. The Canopus stretched across the garden dividing the area in half; the tall white columns with lotus shaped tops were spanned by a series of lintels. A small wall built between the columns joined them together, except for at the centre where the path passed through the Canopus. The greenery of tall plants was visible through both sides of the monument, which led the eyes to the glint of sunlight on water that attracted them to what lay beyond.

The Stargate rose majestically above the Canopus glittering in the sunlight, somehow enhancing the wall paintings beyond.

"Do you know, I think we’re finished," Alan said with a sigh of relief.

"You’re sure?" Jack queried, rubbing his sore back again.

"No! But I’m hopeful," Alan replied.

"We just have to water the plants, brush off the paving stones and unplug the pump for the night," Charlie ticked each item off on her fingers as she spoke.

"Yeah, let's get that over with and then Alan can buy me that drink down the Pub," Tommy grinned triumphantly.

"You’re not going to let me forget that, are you?" Alan griped.

"Nope!" Tommy said gleefully.

A walkie-talkie could be heard from the end of the garden to the patio and the sound drew every person in the area to the spot over by the garden gate.

‘Crackle… They’re just turning into the road, take cover!’ said the voice of the external cameraman, who was hidden behind a large clump of bushes at the end of the road.

Alan glanced around the garden nervously. Everything that could be prepared was ready. The rill had been switched on, the white directors’ chairs were assembled and standing on the patio beside the steps. And of course the Champagne was cooling in an ice bucket beside a tray of tall glasses.

The American contingent had arrived in full dress uniform or a variety of formal civilian clothing. Tommy, Charlie and Willie were already hidden against the back of the house where Alan joined them.

Jack and Sam looked impressive in dress uniform. After seeing them in jeans and T-shirts for the last three days it was quite a shock to the system. Daniel and Teal’c were wearing black suits and looked equally impressive.

S.G.1 joined the Ground Force members in moving out of sight. Hiding was after all a speciality that most Stargate teams used to full effect.

Ferretti was propped up outside the front of the house, ready to welcome Mrs. Jones home. He stirred uneasily, wobbling slightly on his crutches and praying that Mrs. Jones wouldn’t take a similar dislike to him as she had to Colonel Maybourne.

A black Limousine pulled up in front of the house. The drivers’ door opened and a Lieutenant stepped out. He walked around the vehicle to the passenger door, but the door flew open with considerable force before he arrived and a whirlwind disembarked.

Mrs. Jones was a trim eighty-year old with all her wits still about her; much to the dismay of Colonel Makepeace and his team. She strode up the path towards Ferretti, glancing down at the cast on his foot as she arrived. "I hope you got that from kicking that objectionable man Maybourne?"

"I wish!" Ferretti muttered fervently.

Marion Ravenwood-Jones grinned and hooked her arm through his as a sign of approval. "Well, are you going to show me what you’ve done with my garden?" she demanded with a laugh.

"Yep!" Ferretti replied with a grin.

Alan stepped up alongside her and waited warily for her to notice him. He’d been warned about her famous right hook.

Marion caught a glimpse of something moving from the corner of her eye and turned to face it.

"I’m Alan Titchmarsh. This is Tommy Walsh, Charlie Dimmock and Will Shanahan and I’m afraid you’ve been Ground Forced," Alan said brightly.

Marion shook hands with the team, trying to keep her attention on those around her and not on wandering around the garden.

"And we had a lot of help from some of your Countrymen, namely Colonel Jack O’Neill, Majors’ Samantha Carter and Ferretti, Doctor Daniel Jackson and Teal’c." Alan introduced everyone.

Marion gazed around the garden with glazed eyes, trying to take in everything as Alan took her hand and started to lead her through the garden, pointing out things like the Lily named for her late husband and the hieroglyphs painted on the back wall. "Jones will love this, as much as I do already," she commented softly, remembering her ‘not so late’ husband.

Their return to the patio sparked Charlie into motion and she reached down behind the chairs for the bottle of Champagne. She handed the bottle to Alan and picked up the tray of glasses while he worked the cork free. The cork came free in his hands with a loud pop and Alan poured the bubbly into the tall glasses to be handed round by Tommy and Willie.

When everyone had a glass, Alan looked direct into the camera and said the final words.

"And it’s now goodbye from the Ground Force team and our American contingent and an Egyptian Garden in Stevenage, Hertfordshire."

(The End - maybe?)