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In Pursuit of Eggs.

Teal’c strode along the passage heading towards the infirmary, nodding a greeting here and there to an assortment of Airmen and women as he passed.

Drawing closer to the ward where O’Neill was currently residing, he could hear voices raised in argument and was surprised when the faint voice of reason seemed to resemble that of the Colonel.  Teal’c slowed down to a stop in the corridor outside the sickbay and listened carefully as four voices intermingled in an argument about initiating Cassandra Fraiser into what sounded like a childhood rite of passage.

He glided carefully to the entrance into the infirmary and peered slowly around the frame of the doorway and at the wildly escalating bedlam being enacted around O’Neill’s bedridden form.  Daniel Jackson seemed to be in a ‘conversation’ with a bemused Major Coburn who was leaning back against the wall alongside Jack’s bed watching SG1’s resident rock expert wave his arms in the air trying to indicate sizes, as Sam Carter tried to out shout Janet Fraiser’s suggestions with even more outlandish remarks as her hands described yet further exaggerated shapes in the air.

The Jaffa warrior listened with some dismay to a plan for a Hunt; a hunt for what sounded like an egg of an extremely large bird.  Teal’c continued to listen as the whole barbaric plan was unfolded; indeed there was no sign of the usual quality of planning that the rest of SG1 was capable, therefore the former First Prime would have to provide what O’Neill called ‘Plan B’ and wait in the background prepared for the danger ahead.

************

Colonel Jack O’Neill sat back against the mound of pillows and watched the mayhem surrounding him get worse as more people seemed to arrive almost out of thin air. All he’d said was that there were a few of the older traditions that Cassie seemed to have missed out on while growing up on another planet that she deserved a chance to take part in and it sorta’ snowballed from there.

Next thing he knew Daniel was giving a treatise on Easter customs to a captive audience and Sam was bragging about the largest Easter Egg she’d ever had in her life to Janet who just started to brag back at her.

Jack shook his head as the amount of noise started to approach deafening and found that he couldn’t hear himself think. “Quiet,” he yelled, sticking his fingers into his ears in an attempt to block some of the sound.   Silence reigned for a short time as the echoes of O’Neill’s shout seemed to reverberate around the ward and four pairs of eyes fastened themselves upon the man in the bed.

“Listen, we have to have a plan…so what exactly are we planning anyway?” he asked, reaching behind him to resettle one of his pillows.

Daniel pushed his glasses up his nose and back into prime position for peering at Jack, then took what felt like the first deep breathe in quite a while. “I think you mentioned Cassie and Easter traditions in the same breath, I started to explain the various customs around the world and Sam and Janet started to talk about eggs of the chocolate kind,” Daniel said, smiling down at the Colonel.

Jack leaned back again and attempted to fold his arms across his chest, getting the IV tube tangled up into a fancy knot as he finally succeeded.  Fraiser stepped up to the IV stand and started to untangle the Gordian knot that the Colonel had woven before her amazed eyes.

“Well, what did you do for fun at Easter?” Daniel asked, stepping back to lean against the wall next to Major Coburn and wondering why the sight of the Major brought Cassie’s sudden passion for all things ‘Andromeda’ to mind.

“My fondest memories of Easter were of playing hide and seek with other kids looking for Chocolate Easter Eggs,” O’Neill said, a glazed expression forming on his face as happy memories flooded through his mind.

Sam looked over at Cassie’s mother, Janet, grinning deviously at the gleeful smirk the Doctor returned to her as their two minds worked simultaneously to come up with the same idea.

“So who’s up for an Easter Egg Hunt?” They said in a well timed duet.

************

Easter Sunday finally arrived. It was bright and warm outside, which was unusual for Colorado. As O’Neill peered through the window at the outside world he wondered which alien had provided the perfect day for the Great Egg Hunt as it was now called; closely followed by a sarcastic thought about what they would want in payment for said day.

A noise from behind him drew his attention back into the room and towards the door into the General’s office; the General’s aide-de-camp had just entered the office carrying a large bundle of folders and almost dropping the lot as he settled the pile down onto the end of his desk.

“Colonel O’Neill, General Kerrigan will see you now.” The aide informed him, indicating that he should now enter the General’s office.

O’Neill straightened up and marched forward into the Lion’s Den. The Academy’s Commandant was a stickler for protocol and Jack knew that the one sure way of turning this General against you was to be sloppy.

He entered the office and halted in front of the General. Then, coming to attention, raised his hand and arm into a text book salute.

“At ease, Colonel. Is the special project going to plan?” the General asked, indicating that O’Neill could relax.

Jack almost slipped into a slouch but caught himself just in time and instead entered the parade rest position instead. “Yes sir, it’s all arranged. The eggs for the older kids are being hidden around the eighteenth hole of the Golf Course and Doctor Jackson will be giving out the eggs for the younger ones afterwards.” O’Neill stated with some confidence, then faltered as he remembered the one thing he hadn’t allowed for in his planning. “We just have to put an A.P.B. out on Doctor Jackson… he wandered off sometime ago, but he should be easy to find.” Jack added, a twinkle entering his eyes at the memory.

************

Daniel Jackson looked up from perusing the latest copy of ‘Archaeology Today’ as for the third time in five minutes he heard someone snigger and yet again told to be quiet by the officer in charge of the Academy Library.

He glanced around the reading room and noticed that at least half of the people around him had their heads buried in the books before them, while the other half were sitting there watching him with broad smiles pasted all over their faces.

As Daniel went to push his glasses up the bridge of his nose it suddenly occurred to him that he was the cause of the smiles or rather what he was wearing was the cause.  The sight of the white furred sleeves with attached mittens reminding him of the reason he’d arrived at the Academy on Easter Sunday.

Looking down, Daniel fished the over large watch from the pocket of the paisley patterned waistcoat and checked the time again before returning to the fascinating article about the discovery of tomb KV 5 in the Valley of the Kings.

The Easter Bunny reached absently up to scratch behind his right ear before his mind sank back into the extraordinary story being told before him.

************

General Kerrigan stepped to the edge of the pavement and up to the microphone placed ready for his use. Looking up he examined the long line of eager hunters, his own grandchildren among them.  The excited group of children edged closer to the line, prepared to run as fast as they could toward the line of trees on the other side of the sand trap.

Kerrigan glanced over at the crowd of officers and their wives or husbands, each prepared to cheer their children on to success, and identified the group of officers from the SGC that had instigated the whole show.  Thinking back to the start of the event he took a deep breath, leant forward toward the microphone and addressed the waiting crowd.

“Just a couple of weeks ago a group of people brought an idea to me and now here we are gathered at the Eisenhower Golf Course for the Academy’s first ever Easter Egg Hunt. Hopefully this will not be the last such event.” Kerrigan nodded an acknowledgement toward the group of people dressed in Air Force uniform. “And now without further delay it gives me great pleasure to say are you ready… get set… remember to watch out for the Easter Bunny… and Go!”

With a cheer from the audience the children streamed down the slope, across the green and into the undergrowth opposite.  A couple diverted into the nearest sand trap and started to dig through the sand in search of treasure.  Beyond them could be seen brightly clad forms climbing trees and scrambling under bushes, many could be seen waving their prizes in the air as they came back.

************

Jack O’Neill watched with some relief as the Easter Bunny emerged from the undergrowth carrying a large basket; the large rabbit loped toward the first group of children too young to take part in the Hunt.

The white form threaded its way through the crowd surrounding the 18^th hole of the Golf Course, presenting gaily decorated Chocolate Easter Eggs to each child before moving on to the next.

O’Neill studied the way the Bunny moved smoothly around the gathering of adults and attendant children, realizing that the form he was observing didn’t move like Daniel Jackson.

“Heads up, kiddies…that’s not Daniel inside the fur coat!” he said, alerting his companions to a possibly dangerous situation.

The Easter Bunny slowly approached until, standing directly in front of O’Neill, the white bunny reached into the depths of his basket and, produced a large Chocolate Egg, handed it to him.

The group of military personnel relaxed as the Bunny finally spoke.

“O’Neill, the Tau’ri seem to have many strange customs of which this seems to be the strangest.” Teal’c rumbled, muffled by the head of the costume he was wearing.

The Colonel peered at the large Easter Bunny standing in front of him, a dumbfounded expression spreading over his face. “Teal’c, is that you in there?” he said in disbelief.

“Indeed… it is I, O’Neill,” Teal’c replied, with the dignity that was lacking in his current state of dress.

“Teal’c, what are you doing inside that Rabbit?” Doctor Janet Fraiser demanded an answer, wondering what had happened to the original occupant of the costume.

“Daniel Jackson had an unfortunate mishap and to prevent disappointment I endeavoured to take his place.” Teal’c replied, the head of the Easter Bunny concealing the smug expression on his face.

************

*FLASHBACK*

Teal’c lurked in the shrubbery watching as all of the older children scattered across the 18^th hole of the Eisenhower Golf Course in search of their prizes.

Every sense on alert for the danger ahead, he heard a rustle of bushes behind him and, spinning around, fired the zat’nika'tel at the looming white shape that appeared from behind a stand of trees.  The thud of the white furry form hitting the ground almost drowned out the gasp of surprise from behind him.

Teal’c spun around again, his weapon at the ready to face the shocked form of Cassandra Fraiser. Ignoring him, she hurried forward and pulled on the furred ears of the creature until to Teal’c’s surprise the head separated from the body to reveal the unconscious form of Daniel Jackson.

“Oh! Uncle Teal’c, why did you zat Uncle Daniel?” she said, checking to see if Daniel was still breathing as her mother had taught her, before starting to untangle his limbs from the plant life that had decided he was edible and wasn’t going to let him go free.

“I am here to protect you from the Tau’ri wildlife, that I am assured will attempt to harm you when you remove their eggs.” He replied, informing her of his plan, while helping to extricate his team mate’s body from the bushes.

Cassandra peered up at Teal’c and noting the raised eyebrow started to giggle as she saw the funny side of the situation. “The Easter Bunny doesn’t exist and the Easter Eggs being hunted are made of chocolate and according to Aunty Sam the closest they have been to a bird is the cow in the field next to the henhouse.” She said trying not to laugh as Teal’c’s raised eyebrow was joined by its companion.

 “But this does mean that none of the younger kids will get their Easter Eggs,” The young girl from P8X 987 said focussing her attention on the problem at hand “but I have an idea!” she continued as they both looked down at Daniel’s unconscious fur clad body.

*END FLASHBACK*

************

“Where’s Daniel?” Jack asked suspiciously, one eye starting to twitch as he spotted General Kerrigan slowly headed in his direction.

“Daniel is unconscious and I have endeavoured to perform his duties to the best of my ability,” the Jaffa said, studying the developing twitch on O’Neill’s face.

Fraiser jerked at the mention of an injury to Daniel, the doctor in her coming swiftly to the forefront of her personality. “Where is he?” she demanded, trying to remember who had Daniel’s name in the Lottery as the next to be injured.

“Danieljackson is over behind that large tree; your daughter is presently sitting with him.” Teal’c replied, turning to point towards the area of undergrowth he’d emerged from earlier. 

SG1 minus one watched the Doctor move rapidly across the green and into the trees to vanish from sight, away from any visiting superior officers.

“What happened to him?” Sam asked, worried about her team mate.

“I was standing guard over the children watching for danger from angry creatures trying to protect their eggs in accordance with Plan B.  When a large animal burst out of the bushes, I immediately zatted the lifeform before it could menace the children. Therefore it is with much regret that I must say it was I that rendered Danieljackson unconscious!” Teal’c said, reaching again into the basket he held over one arm and producing a zat’nik’a’tel.

“Plan B?” Sam asked almost unable to believe her ears, watching Jack’s face wince in her peripheral vision.

“Indeed, O’Neill always seems to have a Plan B ready for emergencies, it is most unfortunate that this time it required fried rabbit to succeed...”