Soddit XIV

  

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 i, my name is Soddit Farquhar XIV. 

I come from a long line of Soddit's on my father's side.

Far back in the mists of time... y'know the early 1700's, we were originally Country Bumpkins who you'd know as Brownies.

We'd do honest work with a bit of bread and a drop of milk as payment, then the first of the Soddit's - that's me great, great, great, whatever Grand-dad had 'The Great Idea' of going into the Protection Racket ...

As the story goes he overheard a couple of the 'big' folk talking about some dizzy bird named Spinning Jenny and how people would be getting hurt if they didn't watch it.

And he had the idea of goin' into accident prevention in a 'big' way and well everyone who's opened a history book would know that Spinning Jenny wasn't a bird, but a weaving machine.

But from little acorns mighty Gremlins are born.

Which brings me to the matter at hand, I'm at the forefront of a new initiative to bring the Gremlins into the 21st Century... computers are the new Spinning Jenny's and if we don't find fault, accidents could happen.

After all as my famous cousin Orville O'Soddit who works in the Air Industry would say "Your safety is our business and if the wings fall off you were warned".

And I can hear you say "Why is Orville famous?", well his branch of the family were crazy... you wouldn't catch me Bungee Jumping from Concorde!!

There was even a song written about them, during the second World War by the British R.A.F.  It went something like this...

When you're seven miles up in the heavens,
And that's a heck of a lonely spot,
And it's fifty degrees below zero,
Which isn't exactly hot,
When you're frozen blue like your Spitfire,
And you're scared a Mosquito pink,
When you're thousands of miles from nowhere,
And there's nothing below but the drink -

It's then you will see the gremlins,
Green and gamboge and gold,
Male and female and neuter,
Gremlins both young and old.

White ones'll wiggle your wingtips,
Male ones'll muddle your maps,
Green ones'll guzzle your glycol,
Females will flutter your flaps,
Pink ones will perch on your perspex,
And dance pirouettes on your prop,
There's one spherical middle-aged gremlin
Who spins on your stick like a top.

They'll freeze up your camera shutters,
They'll bite through your aileron wires,
They'll cause your whole tail to flutter,
They'll insert toasting forks in your tyres.

This is the song of the gremlins
As sung by the P R U,
Pretty Ruddy Unlikely to many,
But fact nonetheless to the few.

Erm!! please excuse the voice I don't sing in public much, so I'm a little rusty... Oh! and if anyone can figure out what tune is supposed to go with those words, please let me know.

So please could you try to make my job much easier, by letting me know if you spot any broken links or thing's that just look odd that I've missed.

I even have my own email address so that you can speak to me direct, without having to go through the human's that think they own this web site.

 

Thank you for your kind attention

Normal programming will be resumed when you click

HERE

 

Soddit's email: sodditt@care2.com

 

  
 

* Song Of The Gremlins
As sung by the RAF Photographic Reconnaissance Unit during the Second World War.

  

 

 

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