"Gentlemen, start your taps."
!
"How's life treating you, Norm?"
      "Like it caught me in bed with its wife."
!
"How's life, Norm?"
      "Not for the squeamish, Coach."
!
"What's up, Norm?"
      "My nipples. It's freezing out there."
!
"What's the story, Norm?"
      "Thirsty guy walks into a bar. You finish it."
!
"What's new, Norm?"
      "Most of my wife."
!
"Beer, Norm?"
      "Naah, I'd probably just drink it."
!
"What's doing, Norm?"
      "Well, science is seeking a cure for thirst. I happen to be the guinea pig."
!
"Can I draw you a beer, Norm?"
      "No, I know what they look like. Just pour me one."
!
"How about a beer, Norm?"
      "Hey I'm high on life, Coach. Of course, beer is my life."
!
"How's a beer sound, Norm?"
      "I dunno. I usually finish them before they get a word in."
!
"What's up, Norm?"
      "Corners of my mouth, Coach."
!
"What's shaking, Norm?"
      "All four cheeks and a couple of chins, Coach."
!
"Beer, Normie?"
      "Uh, Coach, I dunno, I had one this week. Eh, why not, I'm still  young."
!
"Norm comes in with an attractive woman.]"
      "Normie, Normie, could this be Vera?"
      "With a lot of expensive surgery, maybe."
!
"What's up, Normie?"
      "The temperature under my collar, Coach."
!
"What would you say to a nice beer, Normie?"
      "Going down?"
!
"[Norm returns from the hospital.]"
      "What's up, Norm?"
      "Everything that's supposed to be."
!
"What's new, Normie?"
      "Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my"
      "stomach. They're demanding beer."
!
"What'll it be, Normie?"
      "Just the usual, Coach. I'll have a froth of beer and a snorkel"
!
"What would you say to a beer, Normie?"
      "Daddy wuvs you."
!
"What'd you like, Normie?"
      "A reason to live. Gimme another beer."
!
"Norm: Afternoon, everybody."
      "All: Norm!"
      "Cliff: Afternoon, everybody."
      "All: [silence]"
!
"What will you have, Norm?"
      "Well, I'm in a gambling mood, Sammy. I'll take a glass of whatever comes out of that tap."
      "Oh, looks like beer, Norm."
      "Call me Mister Lucky."
!
"What do you say, Norm?"
      "Any cheap, tawdry thing that'll get me a beer."
!
"What do you say to a beer, Normie?"
      "Hiya, sailor. New in town?"
!
"[coming in from the rain] Evening, everybody."
      "Norm! (Norman.)"
      "Still pouring, Norm?"
      "That's funny, I was about to ask you the same thing."
!
"What's the good word, Norm?"
      "Plop, plop, fizz, fizz."
      "Oh no, not the Hungry Heifer..."
      "Yeah, yeah, yeah..."
      "One heartburn cocktail coming up."
!
"Whaddya say, Norm?"
      "Well, I never met a beer I didn't drink. And down it goes."
!
"[Norm goes into the bar at Vic's Bowl-A-Rama]"
      "Off-screen crowd: Norm!"
      "Sam: How the hell do they know him here?"
      "Cliff: He's got a life, you know."
!
"What's your pleasure, Mr. Peterson?"
      "Boxer shorts and loose shoes. But I'll settle for a beer."
!
"How's life, Mr. Peterson?"
      "Oh, I'm waiting for the movie."
!
"What can I do for you, Mr. Peterson?"
      "Elope with my wife."
!
"[Norm is angry.]"
      "What can I get you, Mr. Peterson?"
      "Clifford Clavin's head."
!
"Hey, what's happening, Norm?"
      "Well, it's a dog-eat-dog world, Sammy, and I'm wearing Milk-Bone underwear."
!
"How's life in the fast lane, Normie?"
      "Beats me, I can't find the on-ramp."
!
"What's happening, Mr. Peterson?"
      "The question is, Woody, why is it happening to me?"
!
"What's going down, Mr. Peterson?"
      "My cheeks on this barstool."
!
"Hey, Mr. Peterson, can I pour you a beer?"
      "Well, okay, Woody, but be sure to stop me at one. ... Eh, make that one-thirty."
!
"How are you feeling today, Mr. Peterson?"
      "Poor."
      "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that."
      "No, I meant `pour'."
!
"Hey, Mr. Peterson, what's the story?"
      "Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy gets another beer."
!
"Hey Norm, how's the world been treating you?"
      "Like a baby treats a diaper."
!
"Norm: Hey, everybody."
"All: [silence; everybody is mad at Norm for being rich]"
"Norm: [carries on both sides of the conversation himself]"
"      Norm! (Norman.)"
"      How are you feeling today, Norm?"
"      Rich and thirsty. Pour me a beer."
!
"What's the latest, Mr. Peterson?"
      "Zha-Zha marries a millionaire, Peterson drinks a beer. Film at eleven."
!
"How are you today, Mr. Peterson?"
      "Never been better, Woody. ... Just once I'd like to be better."
!
"Hey, Mr. Peterson, what do you say to a cold one?"
      "See you later, Vera, I'll be at Cheers."
!
"Well, look at you. You look like the cat that swallowed the canary."
      "And I need a beer to wash him down."
!
"Hey, Mr. Peterson, how's life?"
      "Well, the plot's okay, Woody, but it kind of falls apart at the end."
!
"What's going on, Mr. Peterson?"
      "Let's talk about what's going in Mr. Peterson. A beer, Woody."
!
"How's life treating you?"
      "It's not, Sammy, but that doesn't mean you can't."
!
"Woody: Can I pour you a draft, Mr. Peterson?"
      "Norm: A little early, isn't it Woody?  "
      "Woody: For a beer?"
      "Norm: No, for stupid questions."
!
"What's the story, Mr. Peterson?"
      "The Bobbsey twins go to the brewery. Let's just cut to the happy ending."
!
"Hey, Mr. Peterson, there's a cold one waiting for you."
      "I know, and if she calls, I'm not here."
!
"Beer, Norm?"
      "Have I gotten that predictable? Good."
!
"What's going on, Mr. Peterson?"
      "A flashing sign in my gut that says, ``Insert beer here.''"
!
"Hey, Mr. Peterson, you got room for a beer?"
      "Nope, but I am willing to add on."
!
"What can I get you, Norm?"
      "[scratching his beard] Got any flea powder?"
      " Ah, just kidding. Gimme a beer; I think I'll"
      " just drown the little suckers."
!
"Hey, Mr. Peterson, Jack Frost nipping at your nose?"
      "Yep, now let's get Joe Beer nipping at my liver, huh?"
!
"What are you up to Norm?"
      "My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall."
!
"Nice cold beer coming up, Mr. Peterson."
      "You mean, `Nice cold beer going down Mr. Peterson.'"
!
"What do you know there, Norm?"
      "How to sit. How to drink. Want to quiz me?"
!
"Hey, how's life treating you there, Norm?"
      "Beats me. ... Then it kicks me and leaves me for dead."
!
"How would a beer feel, Mr. Peterson?"
      "Pretty nervous if I was in the room."
!
"Hey, Mr. Peterson, what's up?"
      "The warranty on my liver."
!
"What can I do for you, Norm?"
      "Open up those beer taps and, oh, take the day off, Sam."
!
"What's going on, Mr. Peterson?"
      "Another layer for the winter, Wood."
!
"Sam: [answers the phone] Cheers! ... [to gang] Hey guys, it's Norm. [holds up the receiver]"
      "All: Norm!"
      "Sam: [to phone] Hey, what's shakin' man? [chuckles] [to gang]"
      "Where does he come up with these things?"
!
"What's going on, Normie?"
      "My birthday, Sammy. Give me a beer, stick a candle in it, and I'll blow out my liver."
!
"Hey, Mr. P. How goes the search for Mr. Clavin?"
      "Not as well as the search for Mr. Donut. Found him every couple of blocks."
!
"How about a beer, Norm?"
      "That's that amber sudsy stuff, right? I've heard good things about it!"
!
"How are you Mr. Peterson?"
      "Yeah...as if you care."
!
"What's shaking Mr. Peterson?"
      "What isn't?"
!
"How's it going, Norm?"
      "Cut the small talk and get me a beer."
!
"What can I do for you Norm?"
     "Well, I am going to need something to kill"
     " time before my second beer."
     " Uhhh, how about a first one?"
!
"How's life Norm?"
      "Ask a man whose got one."
!
""What's up Norm?"
      "God's in His Heaven, [pause] something,"
      "  something, something."
      "Beer, Norm?"
      "Yeah, that's it."
!
"How's the world treating you, Norm?"
      "Like I just ran over its dog."
!
"How are you today, Norm?"
      "I'm on top of the world...It's a dismal spot in Greenland."
!
"What'll you have, Norm?"
      "Fame, fortune, and fast women."
      "How 'bout a beer?"
      "Even better."
!
"Whatcha up to Norm?"
      "My ears."
!
"Beer Norm?"
      "Does a rag doll have cloth knobs?"
!
"Beer Norm?"
      "I remember that stuff. Better give me a tall one in case I like it."
!
