Quake Whiners

Quake Whiners!

  Great Quake players...

  You didn't ask, but I'll tell you anyway: The thing which really bugs me in Quake, is the people who spend the whole time trashing everyone, but when anything goes wrong for them - start crying to mommy.

  You might expect newbies to be the ones who complain, since they can barely take a single step before being blown to Valhalla, but the worst they come up with is "No Quad please", which is just a little pathetic. No, it's the best Quake players who come up with the really lame excuses when they are fragged. Here are some of the ones which really make me mad:

"F*#?ing Camper" - The old favourite. Have you got a script for this one? Since the only way a newbie can actually play the game is by hiding, it's just small minded to complain about it. Anyhow if you didn't check out the room properly as you went in, then you're the crap player. No matter how much fun it is running around with a rocket launcher, you've still gotta look where you're running... it's part of the game.

"F*#?in' 666" - Yeah well, the penagram was obviously put in the game so that people would have a chance at killing that guy with 100 Rox and strength rune. Quit complaining ...you'd use it too.

"3 on 1??" - When members of a clan consistently fight a lone gunman, it can get very tedious and spoils the game for all playing. However, the other way around, if it happens that your balls are so big that it takes 3 people to actually bust you, then you can't really blame people if they gang up to fight. Heck, you should be flattered.

"Got Caught" - Yeah right, that was the only reason you were trashed: the quake architecture was to blame. In fact, getting caught generally happens in the same kind of places anyway, and you know where these places are! Pathetic.

  "Unfair teams!" - This last gripe is simple: In capture the flag, if you're on a crap team, or you're well outnumbered, you're gonna loose, (I've had times when you couldn't actually fit into a room it was so full of the opposition), but worse than that, you're gonna have a really crap time playing with people killing you all over the place. (Its kinda like when you were rubbish all over again isn't it?).

  So, people quickly get fed up and say "Not fair." Which would be fine, but for one simple fact... The first to complain are always the people who would be last to change team themselves. Oh no, if they are winning then watch them enjoy blowing everyone up again and again and again.

  You can only shout "unfair" if you are prepared to change over when you are winning.

"3 vs 1??" - For some reason good players hate to be out numbered... even when they are still winning! Player after player joins and is asked to swap merely 'cos the numbers look bad. Listen. If you are beating 3 people by miles, asking one of them to swap onto your team just makes you look like an utter twat.

"Cheat!" - Speaking generally, if it's in the game then it is fair. While you might get frustrated by a player water-zapping you both with the lightning gun in the hope that he can get to the flags/equipment/runes before you when you both respawn, if you went in the water you can't cry cheat when you find you've been out manoeuvred. The same applies to flags being deliberately dropped into lava etc - if you're so good then go fish.

  "Lagged." - The fact that you're the best on a server means that you're most unlikely to get fragged, but it doesn't mean you're invincible. By definition, the other guys are all learning too, and sometimes will manage to pull of something special. Give credit where it's due rather than lie about your connection.

  So, forget your pride, everyone knows who is good and who is crap, so quit whining.

  LEECH.

A page from James David Chapman's website. Located at: http://www.users.globalnet.co.uk/~jchap/ Site mirrored here at: http://www.j.chap.btinternet.co.uk
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