Paraphrasing Scott Adams (creator of Dilbert): At some point ignoring the total weight of anecdotal evidence just gets silly. So, with the intention of supplying
just one more bit of anecdotal evidence here's a short description of how I
feel today. Hopefully it'll be the straw which breaks at least one back out there.
21st January 2001.
How am I? I feel like crap. Either I was beaten up yesterday and lost my
memory or I was involved in a stampede and am now actually dreaming writing
this while in reality I'm dead.
I have a single mouth ulcer on my top lip. It's a little bastard, it
prevents me from closing my mouth properly or gaining any enjoyment out of the
lovely food my other half got from the superstore. Occasionally it needles me
with pain, occasionally I catch it with my teeth because the underlying lip is
swollen. Occasionally I dip into my back pocket, take out a quarter soluble
aspirin and rub it into the area. Ouch. Relief - unless I go and mess with it
again.
I've got two ulcers in my throat and one on my uvula. These make swallowing
a chore, but aren't affecting me too much today.
My muscles are f***ed. I am in constant pain from them. My neck is stiff
(I've noticed that I've started to not put my seat belt on for short journeys-
the stretch back for it is getting too much). My joins hurt and my muscles
hurt, and man do I feel tired? I've just had 12 hours but I feel like I
haven't slept a wink.
I've spent most of the weekend asleep in bed. Unfortunately the muscular
pain and slight fever have influenced my dreams. I woke up with the feeling
of a heavy weight on my chest, my permanent low level asthma. Naturally my body clock is completely confused so for now,
I just go along with what my body seems to want to do, taking every
opportunity to grab a little bit of life back for me whenever it can spare me
the energy.
I stink! I'll have to have a bath - I must have been sweating all night.
I'm not looking forward to it though, if I make it too hot, I might not have
the power to get myself out of it. This hasn't happened yet but there have
been times in the past when I have ground to a halt, so I fear it might happen
again.
Now, you know how I feel today. What do you think I am going to do? Sit
back and feel sorry for myself? - Well maybe, for a minute or two in between
sitting down and standing up, but amazingly I've got a lot more planned than
this. I am going to continue writing on this computer, clear my
white boards and start redesigning another program I am working on. I will then debug a
freeware DOS email program I have written and, at the end of all this, I will hopefully manage to find time to learn a little more about how to
play my guitar.
Heh, does this sound to you like I want to be ill? Does this sound to you
that I am depressed? Bah! Is it going to make me ill-er? Yep. But after 16
years I feel that a) I'm shouldn't rely on ever getting well. b) this is my
life and I don't want to miss it!
A page from James David Chapman's website.
Located at: http://www.users.globalnet.co.uk/~jchap/
Site mirrored here at: http://www.j.chap.btinternet.co.uk
A Day
