ROACH RACES - Choose your bug

ROACH RACES!

Choose your Roach!

Unfortunately, since all the roaches look the same, we've been having a bit of trouble telling who's roach, won, who's lost, and who's got stepped on etc...

So, to stop any more 'misunderstandings' (fights), the roaches all now race in separate lanes... Now that you understand, read the 'roach write-ups'.

Contender statistics:

Lane 1:

Name:	'Richy Roach' [11-2]
Found:	Inside trouser pocket on Friday last March.
Origin:	Brought home in a pay packet, from Pizza-Plus.
Record:	Previously held title of, 'most disgusting thing I have ever found in my pocket, ever', later lost this title to a dogs testicle.
Stats:	Best form when released on kitchen floor, won the fridge to cooker dash, clocking in in under 2.2 seconds.
Comments:	Truly Gross.

Lane 2:

Name:	'Filthy Stinking Disgusting Roach' [12-1]
Found:	Nestling amongst some dog faeces, in park.
Origin:	A Creature From hell.
Record:	Possibly lived whole life in that same location.
Stats:	Never been raced, shows little promise of moving more than 2 inches.
Comments:	Unspeakably gross!

Lane 3:

Name:	'Cocky'Roach' [2-1] (Fav)
Found:	In kitchen, acting like he owned the place.
Origin:	Claims to have always lived there, having purchased a lease from the previous 'roach' tenants.
Record:	Has been seen in every part of the house, including, toilet, bath, bedroom, and pantie-drawer.
Stats:	A genuine 'crowd pleaser' racing with speed, and yet, with an almost hypnotic style.
Comments:	A possible health hazard.

Lane 4:

Name:	'Hopalong' Roach' [20-1]
Found:	Crawling away from a nasty incident in a downtown bar.
Origin:	Born out of urban filth and decay.
Record:	Claim to fame, is to have almost been eaten by over six people, his brothers were not so lucky, apparently.
Stats:	Speed reduced by loss of leg, though, runs fast at the sight of app'roach'ing choppers.
Comments:	Boring, but meaty and tasty looking.

Lane 5:

Name:	'Dead Roach' [100-1]
Found:	In washing machine.
Origin:	Large nest in back of washroom.
Record:	Unknown.
Stats:	Unknown.
Comments:	Dead.

Now you're ready to choose a Racer!

A page from James David Chapman's website. Located at: http://www.users.globalnet.co.uk/~jchap/ Site mirrored here at: http://www.j.chap.btinternet.co.uk
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