"If I'd not wanted people to laugh at me, I wouldn't have worn a bra..."
The fearless leader of Caistor Grammar School.

Great taste in ties... Growing old gracefully. Subject of perpetual Year 7 ridicule, year after year.

Prim and proper denizen of the art block. Stalks cheeky people from a distance. Sometimes roams the halls... possibly looking for food, we don't know.

Head of Science, with a sense of humour. These don't usually have a place within a public school, so it's understandable that it's somewhat underdeveloped.

(sees someone using a strip of wood as a whip) "Oh, is that for me??"
Uh... huh. Never had him as a teacher (probably for the best if that comment is anything to go by).

"I bet you're wearing hotpants under there..."
Runs his own little small scale pools. Encourages gambling and swearing among kids. Often humorous in a braindead scholastic kind of way but then you can't blame the guy. You should see where he's kept. Sometimes all you can do is laugh.

Running a marathon soon. Saviour of all that is good and pure, who warred valiantly with the now long gone Mr Thompson.

Teaches music to all who dare take it. Runs the choir with occasionally muscial results, although the orchestra is somewhat less fortunate.

"What party??"
Is madly in love with his amateur radio kit which he got to send a message up to Scotland once. The fact it could even do that is reason enough for its destruction.

"It's my duty as a man to spread my wild seed..."
Father of two newborns... Aww. Ain't that sweet. He looks buggered already.

Stone Cold Steve Markham, assertive to the max!! I crack myself up sometimes...

New P.E. teacher whom certain members of the Year 11 girls happen to have a crush on... never really spoken to him though.