Competition 3

Thanks to all the hundreds who submitted witty suggestions for Atlas' plight. It was my fault - the entries all tended to be variations on a very similar and - I should have realised - obvious theme! Many made me laugh - but it was impossible to award the prize. So it's a roll-over, folks!

Double prize money for the next one!

Competition 2

Think up a caption for this picture!

No doubt about the winning caption: the only problem is that owing to a technical problem with my email, I don't know who sent it. If the author would like to get in touch, there is a prize waiting.

In Latin: "O mi deus, Kennim necaverunt!"

In English: "O my God, they've killed Kenny!"

Competition 1

Metella Grumionem spectat

Think up a caption for this picture!

The winner is: James Valentine
Metella: That fish smells better than you!
Grumio: Shut up! I've got a fish and I'm not afraid to use it.

Runners up: Nicholas Kimber
Metella: "Are you going to skin that fish, or should I be getting scared?"

Cyrus Rashvand: "A fish a day keeps the wife at bay".

Like the ancient Olympics, only the winner gets a prize. But congratulations to Nicholas and Cyrus - and many thanks to the many others who entered. Try again - there's a new one posted!