Examination Answers

These are answers given by 16 year old students in 1997's examinations:

• Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they wrote in hydraulics. The climate of Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
• The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book - Guinessis - Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of the children, Cain, asked "Am I my brother's son ?"
• Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.
• The Greeks were highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.
• Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advise. They killed him. Socrates died of an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.
• In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits and threw the java.
• Julius Ceasar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they though he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee Hee Brutus".
• Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was cannonised by Bernard Shaw. Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offense.
• In midevil times most people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems, verses and literature.
• Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen". When she exposed herself before the French troops they all shouted "Hurrah !".
• Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure. He invented cigarettes and started smoking.
• Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100ft clipper.
• The greatest writer was William Shakespear. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He wrote tragedies, comedies and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet.
• Writing at the same time as Shakespear was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. John Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.
• Gravity was invented by Issac Walton. It is chiefly noticable in the autumn when apples are falling off trees.
• Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept in his attic.
• Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music.
• The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West.
• Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on the thorn for 63 years. She was a moral woman who practiced virtue. He death was the final event that ended her reign.
• Abraham Lincoln's mother died in infancy and he was born in a log cabin that he built with his own hands.

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