Letter 20

Did you know, the longest river is the Nile. And the largest sea is the Coral Sea, weighing in at 1,850,200 square miles, bigger in fact than Jon's ego. But enough of such trivia, and on with the show...

The Devil settled himself uncomfortably in front of God. "Arrrrrgggghhhh", thought the Devil, "I hate the yearly audit, having to account for every single sinner, do-gooder and accountant. Especially when it's hosted in heaven, because of these comfy chairs, lack of hot pokers and non-spicy food." Suddenly, an impish smile appeared on the Devil's lips. Quickly, he fought to hide the smile by quaffing some low alcohol lager, causing him to choke. "Bleughhhhhh", thought the Devil, "I'll have to remember this for some of the boys down under. What a punishment!". The Devil put phase one of his scheme into action. He distracted God by suddenly pointing and saying, "Oi, doesn't that bloke over there look like Ian Brady?". God turned to look. Whilst God is distracted, the Devil pops some "devilishly hot chilies" into God's veggie slop. God turns back to find the Devil wearing an innocent smile and a halo. "So that's where St Peter's halo went", thought God. He sighed, he quite enjoyed seeing the Devil in heaven and predictably he forgave the Devil in his mind regarding the halo. Absent-mindedly, whilst God's mind drifted back to the audit, he fortook in a spoonful of holy veggie slop. "Whoa", thought God, as the spice opened up the sluice gates from both ends. He let forth a mighty flatulent, which shook the Earth to its core.

This had the unfortunate effect of waking the Super Drooper executive committee. "Ooh bollocks", they thought, collectively, "there's a trip this weekend, but where?".

Back in heaven, God bellowed, "Curried! You pig!"

"That's right", thought the committee, "Capel Curig!".

25-27 July - Capel Curig, North Wales

A camping trip to a cool campsite of fires and dueling banjos. GR736567 on the pinky number 115. Alternatively, as you come into Capel Curig from the east, turn left over the hump-backed bridge before you get to the pub with the coach outside it. After the bridge, the road curves round to the left - follow it round and after about 1/2 a mile there is a gate on the right with "camping" written on a hand-drawn sign. Head for the top left of the field - we'll try and end up together there!

Other Trips

22-24 August - Camping at Grange in the Lake District

26-28 September - Hut trip to Yorkshire.

24-26 October - Hut trip to Ystrafellte, South Wales

21-23 November - Hut trip to Coetmor Mill, North Wales

12-14 December - Outrageous alcohol binge trip to Gradbach, Peak District

New Year - Torrid goings on in Torridon

House-Smoldering

Steve is having a housewarming / birthday barbecue thing in Coventry on Saturday 16 August, and all Droopers are invited! Just bring a bottle, something to throw on the barbie and a sleeping bag if you want to stay over. Ring him at the number below for more sordid details...

lurve,

The Committee

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