"Rules of Conduct With Off-World Allies"
(as discovered by Jacqueline Smith)
Rule 1: Do not accept cakes from scantily clad women. (See note
one)
Rule 2: Do not initiate relationships with amnesia victims.
Rule 3: Do not save suicidal princesses.
Rule 4: Do not use the sarcophugus unless other SG teammembers
are present.
Rule 5: Do not drink anything on P3X-595.
Rule 6: Do not initiate a personal relationship with someone
whose wife formerly inhabited your body, and left you with her
memories.
Rule 7: Do not have a relationship with a Tollan, unless they
promise to share their technology (refer to note 2).
Rule 8: If you are stranded off-world, please allow at least four
months for rescue.
Rule 9: If you decide to marry a Tok'ra, please advise us of
which name to put on the marriage license.
Rule 10: If propositioned by any of our other allies, please seek
out the assistance of the base physician for compatibility
testing.
These rules are not exhaustive, more may be added at any time.
Please see daily memos for updates.
** Important Notes
One: If you do accidently break rule one, please at least
remember to practice safe sex - it may save you from prematurely
aging.
Two: Please contact General Hammond if this occurs, immediately.
We may be able to work something out.