ISSUE No.30, BUT THE FIRST FOR YOU NEWCOMERS
The Twisted Spoke

COLOUR edition of the official newspaper of The Flat Section of the V-CC, the informal gathering of The Cycling Gentry in Britain's Easternmost regions and most other Lowlands.

DISS AND DAT

By our regular correspondent
(due to syrup of figs) Mr Greville Drive

On a recent Monthly Club Outing it was bought to my attention that Diss is the only town of this great isle that appears upon approaching (Diss appears) and also appears on leaving (Disappears) our team of Scientists have been set-to to see if there is veracity in such a formula.  Vera Cité is just one of that crack team.

Cartoon

Readers of this journal who are currently questioning the appearance of black smudges on their fingers may need to have attention drawn to the fact that the finest printer's ink has been used to create this, a rare two-sided edition of The Twisted Spoke at NO EXTRA COST to you dear subscriber.  Consider this ample recompense for the absence of recent editions.  Reader Mr I Maddams esq, he of Southern Suffolk climes is oft-found quite correctly correcting the errant issue-numbering of this very paper.  To he we say thank you, and put the errors down to that wonderful golden Adnams balancing fluid so much in need for those aboard steeds ancient or clapped-out.  A search is on for a copy-editor of greater sobriety; we can but dream.

Overleaf is a comprehensive, albeit unfinished list of fixtures to be fixed in 2014.  The season has already got off to a cracking start with Mick Madgett's Magic Boxing day ride and a Flat Section Monthly ride out to The Greyhound in Tibbenham wherein we were gazed upon by images of Mr James 'Jimmy' Stewart, an actor turned pilot who haunted those premises, possibly in need of that very same Golden Ale balancing fluid albeit required for a height greater than 4 imperial feet.

And so we celebrate the little-reported (in the Daily Hate) fact that our local brewery Adnams still sell their ale measured out in Pints, not the usual 0.568261 of beer (please bar man) and this is further enhanced by the fact that Mick Madgett, he of Madgett's Cycles, still measures his gears in inches, his tyre pressures in pounds-per-feet and he sells his bicycles using pounds, shillings and pence, Diss yet to go fully decimal, you see.  Indeed, Suffolk having used its EEC opt-out clause (no. 58233) has not had to convert its road signs to the unwelcome kilometre so often found in the rest of this country, Eagle-eyed readers will note that the fixtures overleaf still resort to the old Imperial Twelve-Month year (not the Metric Decade System) December being the old 12th month - and the timings are in the old 24 hours-per-day system, those of you in the Eastern region will handle all of this with aplomb, if not a plum, but readers from further afield (yes, there are now many) may need a handy ready-reckoner to convert the statistics.  As a great man once said 'there are lies, lies and whopping great lies, great big fat fibs abroad'.  I, for one, wonder who this 'great man' was as he seems to take the credit for many other sayings and quips, such as 'there is no greater a bicycle gear system than that made by Cyclo' which, as our regular Salopian correspondent Mr John Gray (of Shropshire) would hastily correct as containing one major error.


Further details for all events, call Cally on 01 98 67 84 664, or Mick Madgett on 01379 642 735.  Send some postage stamps should you want to take up further issues: Marlinspike Hall, Walpole, Halesworth, Suffolk, IP19 9AR.


FLAT SECTION RIDES FOR 2014:

January 27th: The Wortwell Wander: Meet at Scole Inn at 7.00 for a ride to The Bell pub in Wortwell, arriving there at 8.00pm

February 24th: The Flattest and Lowest: Meet at Scole Inn at 7.00 for a ride to The Low House (Kings Head) pub in Laxfield, arriving at 8.00pm. Amazing bar-less (tap room) ancient coaching inn with fine food and ales

March 30th: Mick Madgett's non-V-CC 25 mile morning time trial from Bressingham up to Thetford and back, a grand set-you-up for the 2014 season. Grand tea and cake for survivors. Trikes welcome as well as medium-geared and historic machines. Pre-registering essential, call 01370 850419

March 31st: Trend Bucking Ride: Meet at Scole Inn at 7.00 for a ride to The Buck pub in Rumburgh, arriving at 8.30pm. Excellent food and ale in a fine old country pub.

April 20th: Trudge number 30, an Easter Sunday gentle 30 mile seaside jaunt to Walberswick and Southwold via Dunwich. Assemble at 10.00am at Marlinspike Hall (IP19 9AR) for tea, cakes, jumble and fettle for a 11.00 depart. Route sheets left for latecomers. All machines and children welcome, short cuts advised if needed. A plethora of lunching opportunities as well as picnics. Tea and yet more cake on return. Details at 01 98 67 84 664

April 28th: Painting and Panting Ride Meet at Scole Inn at 7.00 for a ride to the Sir Alfred Munnings pub in Mendham, arriving there at 8.00pm

May 25th: Suffolk Airfields Ride. Details to be advised, but this new daytime fixture promises to be a popular event: a tour of east Suffolk WWII airfields organized by group captain Jeremy Jones.

May 26th: Lloyd's Names Ride: meet at The Black Horse pub in Thorndon, for 8.00pm, ride there with other members (arranging your own start point) or join us there for cycling history chatter. can easily be combined with the ride above for a full day's event!

June 14th - 15th: The Flat Section become the Flanders Section: Retro Ronde in Uudenaard. Amazing Tour of Flanders cycling museum, rides and jumble, perhaps the best of all the 'foreigners' Freddy Maertens in attendance. www.retroronde.be

June 21st & 22nd: The Flat Section get Hilly: L'Eroica Britannia, Bakewell, Derbyshire. Italy comes to England, the first of its kind: www.eroicabritannia.co.uk

June 22nd: The 'Grey Import' Ride in Suffolk, for badge-engineered, imported imposter machines, details from member Pete Stanners who keeps the Flat home tyres burning.

June 28 & 20th: The Flat Section allez en France. Anjou Vélo Vintage near Saumer in The Loire, a fine ride of various distances and superb facilities, dinner-dance and grand jumble. www.anjou-velo-vintage.com

June 30th: Victoria's Sponge ride: meet at The Victoria pub in Earl Soham for 8.00pm. Perhaps Suffolk's finest pub, home cooking and home brewing. Ride there with other members (arranging your own start point) or join us there for cycling history chatter.

July 28th: Four Legs Good Ride: meet at the Four Horseshoes pub in Thornham for 8.00pm. Ride there with other members (arranging your own start point) or join us there for cycling history chatter.

August 24th: Spoke And Steam congregational ride: several starting points to suit all geography, meeting at the Railway Museum (www.mslr.org.uk) at Brockford at midday complete with live steam, café, a beer festival in a carriage and possible fat controller. Details from member Ian Maddams

August 25th: Border-Crossing Ride: A joint Essex and Flat Section shebang on bank holiday Monday, meet at The Old Bicycle Co, near Aythorp Roding in Essex, at 7.00pm for a lovely 10-mile ride to the excellent Compasses pub in Littley Green, www.compasseslittleygreen.co.uk. Camping and parking available. Passports required.

September 31st: Trudge 31. A gentle 30-mile ride with lunch at The Rumburgh Buck - IP19 0NT - (book lunches direct for 1.00pm on 01986 785257). Assemble at 10.00am at Marlinspike Hall (IP19 9AR) for tea, cakes, jumble and fettle for a 11.00 depart. Route sheets left for latecomers. Oldest machines preferred. Details at 01 98 67 84 664

September 29th: Ivy League Ride: Meet at Scole Inn at 7.00 for a ride to the Ivy House, Stradbroke, (www.ivyhousestradbroke.co.uk) arriving at 8.30pm.

October 4th & 5th: L'Eroica (www.eroicafan.it) the lure of Italian lightweights, steep hills, period foodstops, many routes to suit all tastes. Many ways to get there, some cheaper than others, a regular event for the Essex and Flat Sections. Great value, superb rides, enormous jumble and market. The permanent club house for Ciclista Inglese is in the Jolly Gate at the top of the high street in Gaiole ln Chianti. Pre-registration required on the aforementioned website.

October 27th: Lloyd's Names Ride part the second. Meet at Scole Inn at 7.00 for a ride to the White Horse pub in Hoxne, arriving at 8.23pm. Huge fire, great food, banter and ales abound.

November 24th: Solway Moss Ride. Specially laid on to commemorate The Battle of Solway Moss, November 24th l542, where the English army defeated a much larger Scottish force near the River Esk in Dumfries and Galloway. Scottish Section members most welcome. Meet at Scole Inn at 7.00 for a ride to the Half Moon pub in Rushall, arriving at 8:15pm

December 26th: Mick Madgett's Magic Boxing Day Ride, assemble at Madgett's Cycles, 8 Shelfanger Rd, Diss, Norfolk, IP22 4EH. Phone: 01379 650419 for a 12-mile ride to a pub of unknown magic, food and ale.

December 29th: Festive Ali Al-Ridha Ride (Saudi Arabian Imam born on this day in the year of our Lord 765 AD) at the Victoria pub in Earl Soham, excellent beer and food. Ride, drive or gather there at 8.00pm. Ride there with other members (arranging your own start point) or join us there for cycling history chatter, and post-festive fallouts.