Mulder: "I know that many of the citizens here are former circus hands, and I just thought that..."
Mr Nut: "You thought that because I am a person of short stature, that the only career I could procure for myself would be one confined to the so-called 'Big Top'. You took one quick look at me, and decided that you could deduce my entire life. Never did it occur to you that a person of my height could have possibly obtained a degree in Hotel Management."
Mulder: "I'm sorry. I meant no offence."
Mr Nut: "Well then why should I take offence? Just because it's human nature to make instantaneous judgements of others based solely upon their physical appearances? Well I've done the same thing to you, for example. I've taken in your all- American features, your dour demeanour, your unimaginative necktie design, and concluded that you work for the government; an FBI agent... but do you see the tragedy here? I have mistakenly deduced you to a stereotype. A caricature, instead of regarding you as a specific, unique individual."
Mulder: But I *am* an FBI agent." (flips out badge)

Lenny: "Mr. Nut, the kind-hearted manager here, convinced me that to make a living by publicly displaying my deformity lacked dignity. So... now I carry other people's luggage. I believe these are your trailers; if they are not... then I am wrong."
Mulder: (Bends over to take suitcases, but while he's down there, takes a long hard look at Leonard, the twin. Feeling guilty that Lenny notices it, slips him some money. Lenny is too drunk to take the palmed money)
Lenny: "Oh, that's most considerate. Thank you very much."
(Mulder shows Scully that he still has the tip in his hand)
Lenny: "Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite. (staggers down the road, realises what he said and comes back) No, no, that's... that's not what I meant.. I... I didn't mean to imply that we had bedbugs... I... I meant to say don't let... don't let the..."
Mulder: "The Feegee mermaids bite."
Bellman: "Yes, that's right... the Feegee Mermaids..."

Mulder: "Just try not to be so exclusive, Scully."
Scully: "As long as you try not to let the atmosphere of this town distort your list all out of proportion."

Dr Blockhead: "How many people do you know that can get out of a straight jacket in under 3 minutes?"
Scully: "Fortunately none..."

(Description: Dr B. has just hammered a long nail up his nose)
Mulder: "Have you ever performed this... act on anyone else?"
Dr Blockhead: "What, are you sick? I tell my audiences that if they're stupid enough to try this on themselves they'll end up with a slight lobotomy. I am a professional."

Mulder: "Exactly how does one become a professional Blockhead? May I?"
(pulls out nail)

Dr Blockhead: "Did you know that through the protective practice of Tiea Bu Shan, you can train your testicles to draw up into your abdomen?"
Mulder: "Oh, I'm doing that as we speak..."

Mulder: "I saw him this morning down by the river. He was eating a fish."
Dr Blockhead: "He knows eating between-show snacks will ruin his appetite."
Mulder: "I could be mistaken. Maybe it was another bald-headed jigsaw puzzle tattooed naked guy I saw."

Scully: "Is this man also a body manipulator?"
Dr Blockhead: "No, in the classical sense The Conundrum is a geek."
Mulder: "He eats live animals..."
Dr Blockhead: "He eats anything: live animals, dead animals, rocks, light bulbs, corkscrews, battery

(Continued on page 34)