Mulder: I don't know, Scully.  But let's go see if the shoe fits.

DPO: "Why do you want to watch all that stuff anyway? They're all a bunch of losers."
Mom: "'Cause they're on TV.  I don't see you on TV."
DPO: "Buuurrpp!!"
Mom: "Manners don't cost, Darren, they're free!  What girl's gonna want a belching' fool like you?"

DPO: "Hey, you know, I think you wanna be someplace else right now, 'cause I'm in the mood for a little barbeque."
Zero: "Naw, man, not the cows again...."

Scully: "Mulder, what's in your pocket?"

Zero:  There's just one slight problem--she's married to your boss.
Darren: Maybe I could fry him.
Zero:  Dude!  He's your *boss*!
Darren: Not if he's dead he won't be.

Description: Mulder leafs through a men's magazine in Darren's room.
Scully: I'm surprised you haven't already read that issue.
Mulder: Oh, I have.  April is the cruellest month.  But *mine* didn't come with this. (holds up yearbook photo) I found it between Miss April and Women of the Ivy League."

Description: Darren grinning at the paramedics after jump-starting  Mr. Kaveat.
Darren: Rescue 911.  (shrugs)

Mulder: Did you see what he did to my phone?
Scully: You want to charge him with assaulting a cellular phone?

DPO: "You know, we could take an Accord or a Maxima... you know, you like any of these?  Or hey, you know, if you don't want to go Japanese, You Know, how 'bout a Taurus?  Naw, you're right, you know, all these cars SUCK!"

Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose

Description: Clyde is reading National Enquirer headlines and has trouble with Lollapalooza.
CB:    What the hell is La-la pal ozo?
Clerk:  Who's Buddy Holly?

Description: Clyde and the Killer are trying to get past each other, each changing sides back into the other's path.
CB:    Sorry.
Killer: Don't apologise.  You're a better dancer than my last date.

Zelma: "Mr., please, you're hurting me."
Killer: "I know, I know, but I'm sorry.  But you're a fortune teller. You should have seen this coming."

FBI agent #1 ag: They say the eyes capture the last image a murder victim sees.
FBI ent #2: What do they say about the entrails?
FBI agent #1: Yuck.

Mulder: "The leaves were telling her she was about to be murdered."

FBI agent #1: Is it true we asked for some help on this case?
FBI agent #2: I heard he was a bit...unorthodox.
FBI agent #1: He comes highly recommended!

(Continued on page 45)